I first contacted Restore Ministries by sending an email saying I had hit the bottom with my husband’s constant drinking and his repeated unfaithfulness to me. I said I had tried everything, every method that I had read for wives of alcoholics, but each time his recovery was only temporary. I was sent the link to fill out an evaluation and my journey finally began to head in the right direction.

My marriage was falling apart due to his drinking. We had become uncomfortable around each other, he became distant and there were never any kind words we said to each other. When I met my husband I really believed that if he really loved me he would just stop drinking. It wasn't until our marriage was restored that my husband told me that he was convinced that I no longer loved him because of the way I was constantly treating and belittling him. He told me that my meanness and pushing and nagging him only made him drink more because he felt things were hopeless. He was sure I didn't love him and that's why he went looking for someone who would love him no matter what he did. Someone he was more compatible with.

The truth is I did love my husband but all the books I'd read told me to withdraw my feelings from him because they were codependent and that I was and had become my EH's enabler. When I came to RMI I was clear in my questionnaire that I had done everything, “tried everything” and I was ready to give up on my husband and marriage once and for all. When I read somewhere on the website, before I filled out the questionnaire, that RMI encourages women to “seek God” I said to myself, I tried that. Because I had gone to our pastor who confronted my husband, so I thought there was nothing more that could be done. After our pastor confronted him it only made things worse and he left the church for good he said.

So when God knew I'd finally reached the end of myself, I cried out to the Him for mercy and that's when, the very next morning, I met a woman. I was getting my nails done and I overheard her telling the nail tech that she had a restored marriage. Just before she walked out she turned to me and said she'd pray for me. When I was done and was walking out, there she was waiting for me! So we walked to her car where she handed me the book that she said I needed. That night I read it through 
How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage twice. Then I looked up and found the website online and immediately filled out the questionnaire.

My whole attitude changed towards my husband and then just two weeks later (when I thought my husband was at work) I got a phone call from him. He said he was at "our new church" and had been meeting with the elders. He said he told the pastor about his drinking problems. I was shocked since he'd said he'd never be part of a church because of the trouble I had caused before by making his problems known (I used to tell everyone!). It was a friend at work who invited him to a men's breakfast and when he met the pastor, then with the elders of the church, all of them actually told him about Teen Challenge and he agree to go for help. Teen Challenge doesn't focus on helping people get sober. They focus on helping them develop a dependent relationship with the Lord, not on any substance.

So my husband was calling to tell me that two men were going to come with him, drive him home to pick up his things, so to pack a bag for him, because they were driving to next state where there was a Teen Challenge facility. My husband came home three months later a totally new man on fire for the Lord!! A month later we renewed our wedding vows that had always been a dream of mine!

My husband is now the spiritual leader of our family and active in our new church. He helps with their addiction group, mostly just sharing his testimony and urging them to care enough to go to Teen Challenge too. Like me many people think that Teen Challenge is just for teens, not adults and married people, but everyone is welcomed and with the right heart, anyone will change from the program, though that's not the reason I'm sharing my testimony. What I want to say is that as a wife you can try everything, but when you do, I promise, you only make matters worse. Try God ALONE!! Give up all psychology methods, as Erin's says, they’re spiritual adultery! Go after God, trust Him and He will change your situation in an instant. Read thHow God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage that will get you on the right track towards restoration not destroying your marriage.


~ Sandra in California, RESTORED




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