Several years ago I contacted RMI to see if I might be able to help my parents. I'd found out that my parents, who had been married for over forty years, had separated. I'd always known they'd had their share of arguments but I didn’t think it would come to them separating. But when I'd spoken to my brothers and sisters I was even more shocked that they were "happy" about the separation and had even encouraged our mother in her decision to force our father out of the family home.

Since I was the only Christian in my family, I KNEW that separation was not only wrong, but would probably lead to divorce. So I searched the internet and found the principles in How God Will Restore Your Marriage and the workbook for women, as RMI suggested I do. I also started to pray “standing in the gap” for them. I was convinced that it would be wrong for me to confront my mother (which everyone in church told me to do) since the Bible says to honor your parents. Thankfully I took everything in a wise woman to heart, not just for my mom, but for my life first. 

Yet I knew that I would be able to honestly and respectfully share my beliefs with my mother, but only if asked as it says in 1 Peter 3:13-15, “Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed and do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.” This also showed me that no matter how much my siblings fought against me, saying the opposite each chance they had, that in the end He would win this battle.

Over the next few weeks, I was given several opportunities to share my faith and my beliefs about marriage with my mother. The process was slow... It took almost three years, but God was faithful - my parents have now reconciled and our family is united again!!!

All I can say is that I feel very blessed for having gone through this, and now I have sought out other grown children to encourage them when I hear their parents are divorced or separated. I just want to share the same principles on marriage with separated or divorced parents that I learned and also to learn everything themselves first, so they can walk out honoring parents and being a witness by how they live their lives first.

Just as with young children, I know we as grown children want our parents together as much as if we were still living at home. Nothing is more difficult than when the holidays and birthdays are visited by parents who won't speak to each other, or worse, when step-parents and step-grandparents are trying to act like one big happy family. I've experienced on my own and so many have confessed that "Everyone feels sick" and the small children in the family are left bewildered by the confusion.

~ Sylvia in Connecticut, parents are RESTORED, who also live in Connecticut
(pictured above with their grandchildren)