"The Centre of My Life"


Restored Marriage Testimony:

"The Centre of My Life"



Nellie, how did your crisis begin? 

My earthly husband had left the house after months of stress and anger between us. It wasn't his choice. In fact he hadn't wanted to leave the home, however things escalated to the point whereby he was asked by the police to leave with all his things and he had vowed he would never return.

Previous to this day, our marriage had been built on sinking sand. There were so many emotional issues we had to deal with in our marriage of 5 years. I was back and forth at my mothers house each time we had a disagreement which displeased my earthly husband every time.

Although a christian my approach to our marriage was one of self righteousness. I also discussed everything with family and some of my friends. My earthly husband was not a church-goer but knew the Lord once. I would attend church with my daughter and mother and he would very occasionally visit.

We grew further and further apart and my earthly husband was pursued by other women. Initially he was flattered but nothing took place. It wasn't until I left the house the final time after another argument to go and live with my mother that he started seeing the OW. I sought a divorce but God would have it that I never went through with it (due to ill health at the time). That's when God started working in my life and showing me myself in the light of His Word. By the time I returned home (approximately 3 months later) my earthly husband was already involved with the OW. That's when he left the home. I was devastated.

How did God change you & did He change your situation as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

During my devastation God had already started working in my life by leading me home. I was led to numerous websites which supported me at the time, including a standers ministry site. When the time was right, God then led me to RMIEW and this was a turning point in my life. Through the resources God showed me myself in the light of His Word and changed me from the inside out. I became more gentle and calm, less worried and more intimate with my heavenly Husband. He became my centre, my focus and changed the way I thought and acted. During this time I followed the principles and prayed, fasted for my strength and did not contact my earthly husband.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial?  

The Lord taught me respect, he showed me the 'line management' of respect and my role as a wife and mother.

He showed me how to have a calm, quiet spirit and how to run to Him with my troubles and not my earthly husband.

He taught me the importance of having Him as number 1 and spending time with Him to have that peace and joy He speaks about in His Word.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through?  

The most difficult times the Lord helped me through was when my earthly husband left and I found out there was OW. I would hear things even though I didn't know where he was. It seemed he was happy and it took faith for me to let go completely and devote my life to my heavenly Husband during this time.

Another difficult time was when our daughter would ask questions and I didn't have the answers to give her as my earthly husband was away from us for 13+ months. The Lord provided me with the insight to answer and get through these times.

What was the “turning point” of your restoration? 

The turning point for me was completely letting go of my earthly husband and centering my focus on the Lord. This wasn't easy but necessary I believe for the restoration of my marriage. Whenever there was contact with my earthly husband, I was courteous, respectful and had a calm and quiet spirit.

Tell us HOW it happened? Did your husband just walk in? Did you suspect you were close?  

As I focused more on the Lord and my relationship with Him I noticed that my earthly husband would be in touch with me more. The calls and frequency of his visits increased along with the hate wall coming down. I suspected I was close, but I never wanted to admit it or focus on it. I kept my focus on my heavenly Husband.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you (or your friend)? 

 I would recommend the Daily Encourager, the RYM book and the Encourager eVideos.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women?  

Yes!

Either way, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with in conclusion?  

Trust the Lord, don't give up trusting Him to work things out. Make Him the centre of your life during this time and leave the circumstances to Him. Nothing is impossible with Him.

I believe my marriage crisis happened for a lot of reasons, but I have always believed one of the main reasons is for me to help others. I believe being a Minister I can minister truth and life to those who are going through what I have been through. I believe with the principles I have learnt, and am still learning that I can help others in pointing them toward their true Husband so He can have His way in their lives and they can be set free, just as He is doing with me.

 

“Beautiful Butterflies”

 

This is my first official praise report (the first of many I hope) and I give God the glory for the work He has been doing in my life and continues to do as I get to know Him more intimately. 

It's amazing how much He is changing me without me even realising! He continues to teach me and show me His perspective in all things. 

A while ago now, I had what I believe is an open vision where I saw a butterfly happily fluttering around my room. It was transparent, but gold and was emitting a gold glow as it moved. I was of course startled, while at the same time scared to blink in case it disappeared. After several flutters it did indeed disappear. I sought my heavenly Husband on this over the next few weeks and now I am convinced what He was showing me.

More recently, I received some news from my earthly husband that would have normally been devastating. In fact, it would have probably opened a door to the enemy for strife and confusion and every kind of evil work! But looking back now, I see the hand of my Heavenly Love in the timing of the news that was delivered to me, and I can only give praise to Him because my own reaction to the news surprised me and confirmed that indeed my heavenly Husband has been working on me. And then I remembered the butterfly which signifies newbirth after a period of metamorphosis (death of old). Do you know that during metamorphosis there is a stillness, a changing, into something more beautiful?! Butterflies also signify freedom as they flutter freely and unhindered.

I do not doubt that my heavenly Husband is working in me to accomplish His purposes if I let Him. The more time I spend with Him, the more I will look like Him, reflect Him and draw others to Him, including our earthly husband’s. (He has a bigger plan)!

I have realised that this RJ is more than I first thought. Ladies, Our heavenly Husband has called us to Himself, we will no longer be the same, but changed and free. For nothing will hinder us for we are changing into His likeness. Let us surrendering all to Him. He is more than able. Our heavenly Husband has a plan for our lives and this RJ is part of it. For me it has been the springboard. I have no doubt in my mind concerning this. So let us rejoice that we are in His will. What better place to be. Knowing in due time we will reap a harvest, if we faint not. 

Be encouraged my dear sisters. We are on the right path and it is part of His ultimate Plan for us, and for others around us. It will be beautiful. Just like those butterflies!

 

“Polished Spiritual Lenses”

 

The Lord is truly my Great Physician and rather than it being something I just say, I can now testify from personal experience that He really is my Great Physician.

 

Before I begun on the RJ, my life revolved around my earthly husband in many ways. I would plan my life around him, concern myself with him, worry endlessly which brought me much anxiety and pain. What's more, I could feel that this was not the most healthy way to live but it seemed like I had no control over it. It had become the norm because I had been doing it for so long and on top of that, I believed I had to do it, to keep things ticking along. In fact, I didn't know there was any other way.

Not surprisingly, over time the pressure started to manifest physically and naturally. I found it hard to sleep, I was continuously anxious whether at work or at home, I started getting migraines, I had miscarriages, I was very short-tempered not just with others, but also with myself. I could feel my health declining rapidly but had no control over it. And just to mention, nothing was changing with regard to my earthly husband even though in my own mind I was employing a strategy that I thought was helping. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

Things came to a head when I collapsed at work due to what felt like a burst blood vessel in my head, and had to be driven off in an ambulance and admitted overnight for keyhole surgery on my spine to eliminate a tumour, or growth. I knew then that things were not right, but still, after I was discharged (with nothing diagnosed - which was a sign in itself) I stupidly continued in my way and continued to suffer migraines, panic attacks and anxieties.

It wasn't until I came to RMI that God, my Great Physician, started the healing process in my life. He slowly allowed my earthly husband to loathe me and leave, and then open heart surgery began on my heart. He then prescribed spiritual lenses as my sight was completely ruined. These spiritual lenses were strong at first but gave me great perspective and changed the way I viewed myself, my relationships and everything around me (I still wear them now : )

The prescription He gave me was His Word, to consume it daily as a minimum, but as often as required. This prescription had no negative side effects, only positive, one of which was peace, perspective and joy. (I still take this prescription now :)

Regarding my migraines, I don't have them anymore unless I fail to take my prescription regularly. In fact, I use my infrequent migraines as a sign that I require more of my prescription or a polish/change of my spiritual lenses.

I know my Great Physician is not finished with me yet, and I love the fact that I don't need to make a formal appointment to see Him in His capacity of Physician or Counselor. I love that He works on an 'open door' policy with me and I have a personal direct line to Him. He is fast becoming my Husband now and so the stresses, anxieties, and panic attacks are no longer necessary because He is also my Prince of Peace.

I cannot begin to emphasise the importance of going to see this Great Physician, telling Him your story and issues and letting Him take care of you like no other Doctor really ever can. I would not say that Doctor's don't have their place, but I would recommend seeing this ONE FIRST and taking it from there. I can testify that I am healed, continually being healed and free.

 

“New Perspective”

 

Before my marriage crisis, I was very controlling and self righteous (despite calling myself a believer). One of the areas I was particularly controlling in concerned my earthly husbands friends and their visiting our marital home. To be honest, I was not in total agreement of their lifestyle or behaviours and as a result they never really visited our home. My earthly husband would visit them instead.

Since my heavenly Husband got my attention, He has given me His perspective on things. I now see my earthly husband friends visiting as an opportunity to show my heavenly Husband’s love, and not in a dominating, controlling, preachy way but rather one of wisdom with a calm and quiet spirit.

I look past the issues that are right in front of me, and discuss my concerns with my heavenly Husband rather than portraying them through my negative body language, facial expressions or speech. I also consider this as an attitude of respect to my earthly husband and now he tells me how comfortable he feels in his own home. Opening our home to those who do not know Christ regardless of their situation, is now becoming a joy for me. It is unlikely these men would grace the doors of the 'church' and so this provides an opportunity for my heavenly Husband to minister His love to them through me - what a privilege!

Not only has my relationship with my heavenly Husband changed, but the dynamic of my relationship with my earthly husband and his friends community has been impacted positively. I trust my heavenly Husband entirely with the final result and no longer look at the circumstances and things that might frustrate me, but rather through my new 'faith lenses!' I believe and know that my heavenly Husband has my best interests and their best interests, and if I surrender to Him will work through me to fulfil His plans in my life and theirs. Amen!!

I had such a debilitating migraine today that I could do nothing but lay down. I seemed to have run out of painkillers and the ones I did have weren't working. I looked to Him and prayed. Within the hour the pain subsided enough for me to continue my day.

"I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4 (KJV)

The Pain of Letting Go”

 

I want to praise my Heavenly Love for loving me so much that He took the time to get my attention in order to put me back on the path that I had strayed from, unbeknown to me. What seemed like a crisis to my natural eye (my marriage breakdown) was in fact the very means He used to get my full attention, rebuild my thought life and mind to align with His.

 

This RJ has brought me into an intimate relationship with my Heavenly Love. Without the crisis, I would not have got to know Him intimately. I love Him like never before. He indeed got my attention and led me to RMI when I was ready, where the resources and website served as supporting tools in my RJ. The crisis served to break me, to the point where I could hear my Heavenly Love, His guidance and direction. He showed me myself gently in the light of His Word and turned me inside out, rebuilding my thought life, my focus, and setting me on the path of my destiny by allowing me to use my crisis as a testimony to minister reconciliation to others.

The letting go was hard for my natural man, but was necessary in order for Him to do the work that was needed in me. It was a process that was painful - reflecting the crucifixion of flesh and everything fleshy and resurrecting my spiritual man.

It sounds cliche, but I am no longer the same. My old man is dying slowly and I am becoming that new creature. The principles He has instilled in me, the focus I now have and His revelatory knowledge mean that He is first place in my life - and this being what He wanted all along. For me to Know Him. The living Word.

It can seem daunting when we are going through hardship, but knowing the Truth really does set you free. Knowing that this crisis was what He used to gain intimacy with me is an overwhelming thought that now makes me smile.

I continue to walk with Him, spend time with Him and be led of Him. He has now become a part of my every day. I know Him and He knows me. I have not arrived, but I am closer to Him and on the right path again with Him leading and guiding me now.

The pain of letting go was necessary. A necessary part of the process, and I continue to let go daily; of myself to Him knowing that the letting go process is what brings me into a closer relationship with Him while He takes care of every aspect of my life. Just like the birds and the flowers, much more me. O the freedom, the peace that comes from knowing Him. This is where He wants us, His children, His brides. He is worthy of all the praise and indeed His ways are past finding out.

What I thought was my worst nightmare was in fact the start of a dream come true. The start of my live personal restoration journey with my Heavenly Husbandman.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on your own understanding . (Prov 3:5)

What looks to the natural eye as a crisis in fact is the very thing our Heavenly Husband uses to get our attention and draw us to Him. It is the start of our intimate relationship with Him.

...Yet not my will but yours be done (Luke 22.42 KJV)

...Father I place my life in our hands (Luke 23.46 KJV)

Letting go (of our will) is the start of releasing ourselves into His care for Him to begin the work of restoration and reconciliation, reordering and rebuilding of our lives and those we come into contact with. Letting go in the natural, is the hardest but equally the necessary part because we are letting go to Him which brings freedom, peace and spiritual intimacy.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you - Matt 6.33 (KJV)

Seek Him first and He will take care of your needs in His time.

“Made in His image”

 

I am amazed at how my Heavenly Love and I are communicating on this restoration journey. We are becoming more and more intimate and very recently, He permitted me to catch a glimpse of Him and I want to use this Praise Report to tell you lovely ladies all about how He allowed me to see a part of Him that has resulted in me loving Him even more.

 

I have been studying the lessons regarding how our Heavenly Love created mankind male and female, and how He created them in HIS image. As I meditated on His Word and the deeper meaning of what this meant, my Heavenly Love allowed me to catch a glimpse of Him.

In further studying the male and female roles and qualities from His Word, and how He made them in HIS image, He revealed to me that He too is made up of these qualities (and roles) found in both the male and the female. So, for example, He has a gentle, quiet quality (female), in addition to a leadership, Head role (male). He has the quality of humility and submission (female) as well as the ability to love (male) - to be honest, He is love! And as He continued to reveal the qualities and roles of each sex, He revealed a part of Himself and I caught a glimpse of Him. Oh how marvellous that my Heavenly Love possesses so many qualities and roles of the male and female sex. He is all of this and we are made in HIS image. 

It then got me thinking that this is even more reason for us to embrace being female. By exhibiting and living these qualities and roles out i.e. those outlined in the Word, not only do we live as we were created to be, but by living and walking it out, we shine a part of Him in this life, on earth, for others to see. It is critical therefore that we submit to the roles He has given us as females. We should in fact celebrate our female qualities as we reflect Him when we do so. The same goes for the male. And as we live together, male and female, we will reflect Him, or at least a part of Him on earth. Amazing!

Ladies, our Heavenly Love wants so much to have this intimate relationship with us so He can reveal Himself to us, as well as His will for our lives. The Bible tells us to draw close to Him and He will draw close to us. I know there is so much more of Himself that He wants to reveal to me and I am excited to know Him and to see Him, as I fall deeper in love with Him. How intimate and loving for Him to give me a glimpse of Him. He is so romantic.

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27 NIV)

“Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father and I too will love them and show (emphanizō, appear, be manifest, make known) myself to them.” (John 14:21 NIV)

“Ministering Opportunities”

 

I wanted to talk today about how my Heavenly Love has been using me to minister to others. The example I want to share concerns how He allowed me to minister to a colleague at work resulting in me offering them a copy of the book How God can and will Restore your Marriageand us becoming and encouraging support to each other at work.

 

We have been going through a relatively unsettling time at work with various redundancies and relocations and I have used the time to draw closer to my heavenly Husband so that I can be a light and encouragement to others as He chooses. This particular day there was a meeting in my calendar with 2 of my colleagues however at the very last minute one of them cancelled. I deliberated whether to reschedule however we went ahead and had the meeting with just the 2 of us.

During the meeting it transpired that this lady was having some marital challenges not dissimilar to mine and was also a believer. I was able to use some of the time to minister to her sharing my testimony of what God has done in my life and marriage and give her a copy of the book which she has begun reading. As a result we are able to meet up at lunchtimes and discuss things about God and encourage each to other through the unsettling time at work. I am sure there is so much more that God wants to do as I submit myself to Him and depend on Him to see me through but I am amazed at how He is using me in ministry, even at work. My relationship with Him is so much stronger since spending time with Him and in His Word through the various lessons in Erin's ministry. I am more attentive to His voice and am always on the alert to hear His instructions concerning my day.

 

“Migraines Healed by HL”

 

For over 2 years I have suffered migraine. The worst episode was when I collapsed at work and could neither speak nor move. As a result I was hospitalised and underwent various invasive tests to eliminate possible stroke. In fact only morphine was able to successfully reduce my pain and thus was another warning sign to the medics that this was something more serious. Yet a lumbar puncture and CO scan revealed nothing. Months later I was referred to a neurologist as the headaches continued. The neurologist confirmed no cause also even though I was advised to take stronger medication with the possibility of an MRI scan if things continued.

 

But God. As part of my visit, the consultant advised I complete a 2 month headache diary. I wasn't comfortable with his recommendation for the stronger meds but I was inclined to complete the headache diary and continue with my regular painkillers as and when necessary. I also continued to trust my Heavenly Love.

Whilst completing my headache diary faithfully I noticed that my episodes were less frequent than initially and observed that stress and over thinking seemed to be a primary cause. So I gave my stresses completely to my Heavenly love. Every last one of them. I spoke to Him about them as advised by the Ministry and let them go. If they troubled me, I spoke to Him about them and left it there believing He would take care of it. Within the 2 months I noticed the episodes were practically non existent. No scan, no medication. Just a relationship with my Heavenly Love.

Trusting Him and casting my problems on Him and having Him central in my life allowed Him to manage everything, in His time. My part - to rely on Him wholeheartedly, listen and obey faithfully every instruction.

“Not a Stumbling Block”

 

I recently was informed of the news that I had been made redundant [laid off] at work. This news was a shock to my system, and although we had expected some redundancies at work, we never imagined the magnitude of the changes. My role was one of many eliminated from the Business, and as the primary breadwinner of the home, I have to admit that I was devastated.

 

My hope was in my heavenly Husband as I know from past experiences that He has proven Himself to be an amazing Provider, however my faith was shaken as I lost my focus initially and began looking at all those things that would be impacted; our home, my daughters school, our car, etc etc. All the things that in the natural, we have depended upon. After day 3 of the news I had emersed myself in my own emotions and that of my colleagues as reality started to hit me.

After discussing the matter with my heavenly Husband, I began to feel a little better. I knew my heavenly Husband was trying to speak to me, but my emotions were getting in the way of me hearing His voice clearer. One thing I did feel led to do was to call a friend of mine who I hadn't spoken to for a while. Co-incidentally it was her day off work and she proceeded to tell me about a retreat she had just come back from and how amazing God had shown Himself to be in her life. As we conversed, I could feel my stresses and burdens being lifted, and as I told her about my job situation, we prayed together.

As we prayed together, my heavenly Husband started to reveal His plan regarding my marriage and my role as a mother and wife. He revealed that He wants to do a shift in our family and that I should trust Him with His plans for me and the family. He spoke of my earthly husband also and how he wants to raise Him up and position Him as the head of the home even further.

As my heavenly Husband started to reveal His plans and thoughts to me, the redundancy started to make sense. No longer did I see the redundancy as a stumbling block or barrier, or negative thing, but I actually started to embrace the fact that this could be part of God's plan for me, for my ministry, for my family. It wasn't too long ago that I was seeking the Lord for a less stressful and time consuming job so I could focus on Him and His plan for my life as a mother, wife and ambassador of His. My outlook started to change, and did my perspective and my friend bore witness to exactly what I was seeing and hearing.

I believe at times we pray for things, and God has a way of answering our prayers, in His timing, in His Way. Unless we are connected to Him, we may miss what He is saying to us or worse still interpret the situation and blessing inaccurately. I do not know His full plan and what will come of this situation of redundancy, but after communing with Him I know He is working things out for my good if I will just rest in Him and trust Him, listening obediently to Him, seeking Him and walking in obedience.

It was through a time of hardship and the trial of my marriage crumbling that my heavenly Husband revealed Himself to me, restored my relationship with Him, and also my earthly family relationship (immediate and extended). I have already proved that my heavenly Husband power is perfected in my weakness and I know that He does not change and this situation is yet another opportunity for Him to reveal Himself and get the ultimate glory.

 

“A Beautiful Portrait in the Making”

 

Since starting this restoration journey, I have gradually given my heavenly Husband access to all areas of my life. As He continues to work with my submission, He continues to reorder my life and my family.

 

Whilst I admit it is not always easy in the natural (reordering is not a terribly easy process to undergo), I can testify that it is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

 

The relationship now between my earthly husband and myself is set on the solid foundation of my Heavenly Love. This has meant more peace, more trust, and more love. Our daughter is happier and the home has become one of respect and love - in contrast to the home of chaos before.

 

In addition, this has spilled over to the relationship my earthly husband has with my mother - in contrast to before - it is now one of love and respect. Our God is good.

 

He has taken what seemed to be rubbish and no hope, and is making a beautiful portrait as I continue to submit to Him and trust Him. There are times when it is hard, but these are the times I press into Him more.

 

I continue to be excited to see what He is up to. I am a more peaceful, less anxious and stressed person now. I am learning His principles and practicing them as He refines and molds me into that which He wants me to be. I love Him oh so much. Coming to this site was just the beginning. Restoring my earthly marriage was just the tip of the iceberg. Bringing me in intimate relationship with Him is what this whole thing was about all the time.


~
Nelli in United Kingdom is one of our few ministers who were able to grasp the principle of her HH, whom she refers to as her HL “Heavenly Love” after being a stander that resulted in her restored marriage. Now a Ministers in Training she says “I believe my marriage crisis happened for a lot of reasons, the main reasons to help others know the truth so they can be set free.”







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