Mr. Mattos

Mr. Mattos was born on Mount Olympus before being spirited away to the island of Crete as an infant, where he was raised by wolves in a cave outside of the ancient city of Cnossos. Shortly thereafter he was adopted by a kind family from Long Island, NY and attended Fifth Avenue Elementary School, where he excelled at badminton, Euclidean Geometry, and chess.

At age thirteen, the adolescent Mr. Mattos abandoned his previous pursuits and turned his attention to alchemy, music, and the theatre arts. At eighteen, he was admitted to Bard College and graduated in 2005 with a degree in comparative literature.

It was at this time Mr. Mattos entered a period of vagrancy, wandering from New York to Paris, Mexico City to Prague, and Berlin to Boston, either busking on the streets with his guitar or trading in rare books and coins to earn money to buy peanut butter. After a time he was approached by the National Security Agency (NSA) to enroll as an undercover graduate student at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington in order to reconnoiter the possible infiltration of Anti-Copernican cosmologists into the Watson College of Education. His investigational efforts assisted in the arrest and deportation of a Quebecois spy who was attempting to convince the youth of America that Pluto—the planet, not the cartoon dog—does not exist.

He now lives in semi-retirement with his dog Argos in Wilmington, North Carolina, where he lectures on Hellenic history, etymology (ask him about the color orange) and Shakespeare. Word on the street is he’s writing a book.