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Rumplestiltskin in the News



    Earlier this month, a mother and her husband living in Uptown Fairyport, Florida, urgently called the police. They described a man who the mother had reportedly met about a year ago. Supposedly, he helped her out of her large debt and vanished without even a name. But now, unfortunately, the man has kidnapped the couple’s first born child as payment for his help.

    After a week with nearly no leads or results, the police found a short man hiding deep in the woods who matched the description of a criminal with prior kidnaping offences from forty years ago, who was never caught. He also matched the mother’s description of the child-napper. After taking him into custody and weeks of questioning, he confessed to his crimes, but would not reveal the location of the child to the authorities.

    Unfortunately, after much further searching, the child was nowhere to be found. After further weeks of searching, the kidnapper spoke. He said, “The only way the boy will return to the dame, is if anyone can guess my real name!” No records could be found of this man, and after continued weeks of searching, it seemed there was only one way to find the poor boy. After three days of the poor mother throwing names at the perpetrator, she successfully guessed his name. The kidnapper was revealed to be a man named Rumpelstiltskin, then revealed the hiding place of the child, in another odd poem.

    “You witch, you witch! That feels unfair! Although you beat me fair and square.
Your child’s location I will reveal,
Under my floorboards I have him concealed.
And now I think you’ve paid the price, you’ve given me your guileless paradise.”

    The young boy was indeed under the floorboards of the kidnappers house, and has now been safely returned to his loving parents.

    Two nights after the child was found, the criminal escaped his prison without a trace. If you have any information on this dangerous criminal, please contact the police. He stands at 5’10” with a brown suit, and curly brown hair.
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