REFUSAL SKILLS

REFUSAL SKILLS

Part of the ongoing curriculum at BES is to help children to understand what is expected behavior. Generally this translates into only doing what is healthy for yourself and others. Classroom discussion recently has explored how to keep friends, stay out of trouble, and have fun. Many classes have been taught the following. 

- BE N*I*C*E -
How to say “NO” to trouble, keep your friends, and have fun!

N     Say “No,” not “Maybe” or “Later.” 
        Set clear limits.
        Say no, over and over if you have to.
            “No, you can’t have my ____ because it’s all I have.”
            “No thanks.”
            "No, that's not a safe idea."

I      Follow “NO” with an “I” statement: 
            “I want to make healthy choices.”
        Call it what it is:
            “That’s cheating (bullying, using drugs, not following rules…) and I don’t do that.”
            “I don’t want to get in trouble.”
            “I think differently than you.”
            “If I did that I would feel bad about it.”

C      If pressure continues, “Change.” 
        Change the topic: 
            “Did you see the game last night?” 
            “Have you finished your project?”
            “What’s going on over there?"
            “Let’s ride bikes.”
        Or change who you are talking to;
            “Julie is over there; I need to ask her something.” 
        Or change the location. Go somewhere else. 
        If you want their friendship, keep the door open:
            “If you decide to do something safer, let me know.”
            “I’ll be at home if you want to play later.”

E      If the other person is still trying to get you to do something unhealthy then 
        you need an “Exit” plan.
        Have a code phrase with your parent like, 
            “Is that a dog barking?”  (when there are no dogs around your house) 
            or 
            "Are we going to Uncle Tom's tomorrow?" (when there is no Uncle Tom) 
            which means, “Come and pick me up. Hurry!” 
        If you don’t have a way home, call someone you trust to bring you home.
           Talk with your parents now about who you might call for help. 
        If this still does not work, ignore the other person/people, walk away, and 
        keep asking for help!

ASK FOR HELP! WE ALL NEED IT SOMETIMES!
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