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Why Are 30 Year Olds Still Living With Parents?
Over the last decade or so, a social trend has begun to emerge that has attracted a lot of attention. For various reasons, kids are either returning to the parental home after being on their own for a few years, or they are never leaving in the first place. Both of these situations are happening often enough to attract the attention of mental health professionals and cultural experts. Studies have provided some interesting facts about what is creating this situation of 30 year olds still living with parents.
One aspect of this social and cultural phenomenon is children who never get around to leaving home at all. After completing college, the kids return home to regroup, secure employment and begin to build a life. While the child in question may hold down a full time job, date, and otherwise appear to be living a conventional lifestyle, they choose to remain at home. For some, the convenience of having the parents continue to supply food and shelter are the primary incentives. This is very different from situations where children are home in order to provide some degree of caregiving to aging parents. In this scenario, the child continues to remain somewhat free of many of the little responsibilities that are associated with adulthood. Essentially, they are stuck in the same phase they entered in their late teens, and have no desire to move on to the next phase.
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With other children, the living arrangement comes about due to necessity. As more first marriages continue to fail, both men and women end up back in the parental home. In some instances, this is due to finances. Divorce can often leave both parties in severely diminished financial condition, and it will take time to rebuild resources. However, with some kids who return for what is supposed to be a short period, the few months turns into a year, then two and on up to five years. This can often occur when children are involved and the grandparents are especially open to helping provide a stable environment and participate in the child rearing.
One of the important things to remember is that not every situation involving adult children in the home is necessarily a bad thing. For some children, the ability to remain in the home is emotionally satisfying and can provide sanctuary while they work through other life issues. However, living at home does tend to inhibit the ability of the child to move on into a romantic relationship and building a household of his or her own.
Unless there are extenuating circumstances, it may be a good idea to seek therapy after the initial reasons for remaining in the home have been resolved. The root cause may have shifted away from a life crisis to a deep-rooted fear of having to become a full-fledged adult. For example, therapy may include dating tips for shy people, if part of the problem is a fear of involvement. Therapy can often help the individual address the fears and provide a degree of perspective that is missing from the mindset of the child.
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