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Young Edward “Tall Tales” Mutant Mariachi Records © 2009
1. Albert Einstein
Late one night I had a dream Oh my lord There it was staring me down A big giant chalk board
With equations here and equations there As far as I could see There it was staring me down Atomic energy
And I was Einstein for the night Albert Einstein it was me it was me E equals MC squared Time and space relativity
There I was flying through Our universe With a quasar here and a quasar there Ones about to burst
Speed of light it’s all right As far as I can see There it was staring me down Atomic energy
2. You’re a Loser
You never smile. You’re way too serious. You mumble to yourself. My friends think you’re delirious.
You don’t have a job. You’ve never owned a car. You cut your own hair. You’re wardrobe is bizarre.
You’re a freaky, little, bitter, crazy, funky, ugly, sloppy, lazy, smelly, weird, grumpy, whiny miserable loser. You’re a loser, but I like you anyway.
Your palms are wet. Your boots are untied. You don’t like making friends. You never even try.
I’m your only friend Besides your 14 cats. Your pride and joy Is your collection of bottle caps.
3. Sinner
Give me one shot of whiskey And three red pills If Jesus don’t save me I know the devil will
I’ve got a 44 smokeless And it shoots to kill If Jesus don’t save me I know the devil will
My baby done left me I can’t buy a thrill If Jesus don’t save me I know the devil will
Black train is comin’ over the hill If Jesus don’t save me I know the devil will
4. Dead Man Blues
My heart won't break. My back don't ache. I'm floating face down In an ice cold lake. There's no game left To win or lose, 'Cause I got them dead man blues.
No more lemons. No more limes. No more cold beer In the summertime. Go ahead And steal my shoes, 'Cause I got them dead man blues.
My lips won't smack. My smile don't crack. I got a metal spike Stuck in my back. Stuff me into A potato sack, 'Cause I got the dead man blues.
My whole life Was one big blunder. In a little while I'll be six feet under. Say goodbye To my Uncle Lou, Tell him I got the dead man blues.
5. No Fish
Mountain high Mountain low Let’s go down to the fishing hole You got the worm I got the pole Let’s go down to the fishing hole
Fishing hole, down in the holler Fishing hole, ain’t got a dollar Fishing hole, don’t even bother ‘Cause there ain’t no fish in the fishing hole
You got a dollar I got one Let’s go get a bottle of rum Bottle of rum You got the pole Let’s go down to the fishing hole
Burn the oil Burn that coal Mercury in the fishing hole One eye, two eye, three eye, four Ain’t going fishing there no more
6. I Crawled
I crawled to the sea On my hands and knees Just to see if you would be with me, lord, lord
I slept in the pines Where the sun don’t shine Oh, you’re still not mine, lord, lord
At last I died I died in my pride and I do not lie. At last I saw you by my side, lord, lord.
7. Life is Strange
Shoes with batteries Insults with flattery Think tanks full of fools Monkeys using tools Oversized pants that can’t be exchanged Yeah, you know, life sure is strange.
Pillows full of pebbles Causes without rebels Churches full of cheaters Gum stuck in parking meters The pieces have been rearranged But, yeah, you know, life is strange.
Crooks in high places Goons with plastic faces Money under rugs Beds full of bugs The face in the window kind of looks deranged Sure, but, you know, life is strange.
Little babies cryin' Big babies dyin' Old ladies on the street Tryin' to make ends meet Yeah, they've probably been shortchanged But, you know, life is strange.
8. Holy Roller
Holy Roller yes I am Singing the songs of Jesus Yeah I’m singing the songs of the lord I’m a Holy Roller yes I am
I’m going to a church made of sticks Going to the back woods Gonna get my Jesus fix I’m a Holy Roller yes I am
He’s gonna turn the water into wine Everything’s gonna be righteous Everything’s gonna be fine When he turns the water into wine
I’m going to the rock yes I am Going for forgiveness I’m going for forgiveness I’m going to the rock yes I am
9. Broke Down Home
My bathtub’s full of whisky. My basement’s full of bones. I’ve been living here for years in this lonely broke down home.
When I get up in the morning, I don’t know what to do. When it’s raining outside, it’s raining inside too.
The wind howls across the rooftop Like a rusty old trombone. I’ve been living here for years in this lonely broke down home.
No songs left to sing. No stories left to write. Every season’s winter. Every day is night.
The line is dead but I still talk into the phone. I’ve been living here for years in this lonely broke down home.
10. Shackles and Chains
Shackles and chains, shackles and chains, Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains.
Deep down in the dungeon of my brain, Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains. One more hour and I'll go insane, Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains.
Whisper to me a lullaby. Sing me one last song before I die. Follow me down to this hole in the ground. You hold the key to set me free.
Locked up in a world of pain, Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains. I can't find a way to win this wicked game, Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains.
The only sound I hear is the steel door clang Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains. In the distance I can hear the whistle of the train, Got myself tangled up in shackles and chains.
11. My Baby’s Feet
Smell ’em a-comin’ from on over the hill. Stink so bad, make the daisies wilt.
Put ’em in the tub, water turns black. Walk ’cross the floor, they make tracks.
I love my baby. She sure is sweet. I just wish she’d wash her feet.
Can’t get that smell out of my clothes. When I’m near ’em gotta plug my nose.
Smell like a pair a rotten trout. Reek so bad, make my hair fall out. I love my baby, don’t you know.
I just wish she’d wash her toes.
Put ’em in the barn and the cow gets sick. I wouldn’t wanna touch ’em with a ten-foot stick.
Wouldn’t recognize ’em if they was clean. Put ’em in a shoe, and the sock turns green. |
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