PRE-SUMMIT SHENANIGANS:

EVERYONE WILL NOT SHUT UP

We’re on a school bus, and it’s before noon on a Saturday, and the back of the bus is singing. And will continue to sing. The entire way to Lake Conroe. That’s an hour, for those of you who don’t know. BC later threatens to drown Charlie Dai if he sings on the way back.

HOUSE-PARTY-BOAT?

The boat that we’re summiting on turns out to be a houseboat. Actually, it’s some dude’s houseboat. And the guy is on the boat with us. He doesn’t seem to be overly wary about the keg. This may or may not be a mistake on his part.

ACTUAL SUMMIT:

HOLY BALLS! MONEY!

$80,000, to be specific. At least, so says Travis, and he has some official looking sheets of paper to back him up. Mike interrupts with a history lesson, to explain where exactly this money came from: Jason Hawley (last year’s treasurer) found it hiding in our accounts somewhere. Travis elaborates that we’ve got a lot of different funds/endowments invested/endowed by various past Wiessmen, and some of them pay us money each year that we’ve pretty much forgotten about until now.

More importantly, we need to do something with it. Various things are proposed, including: buy this boat, buy a giant money pool, and give it to Joe Dwyer. Brett and Mimi say they considered buying an island, but they looked into it and it’s not feasible. Apparently, the only islands within our price range are off the coast of Northern Canada and small. Which is upsetting.

Travis points out that we shouldn’t spend all this money, as it was only through saving that we were able to get it in the first place. He then proposes that we invest some of the money in Rice’s Endowment, which will then pay us back a certain percentage of our investment plus interest each year. Questions are raised about how, hey, isn’t the economy pretty much not that great right now? BC responds that Rice’s endowment beats general stocks/mutual funds by quite a lot, and that we didn’t lose too much in the crash when compared to, say, everyone else. Bonnel adds that the economy’s about bottomed out, so it should improve soon. He also suggests harassing alumni who are investment bankers, so as to get accurate information on our investment.

Brett and Mimi point out that we could buy 160,000 keystones.

Ultimately, we decide the best course is to spend some of the money on the War Room Renovations, invest a bunch of it in the endowment (with details to follow when Travis gets more info out of the elusive Kathy Collins (the BANNER lady, for those of you who aren’t freshmen)), and keep some on hand for emergencies. Speaking of emergency money, Bonnel says that everyone should

HARASS THE CANDY MACHINE REPS

That way we can get more monies, because Candy money goes to Wiess. Also, then there will be candy. Which is nice.

MAKE THE WAR ROOM PRETTY

Bonnel says that despite his best efforts, there are still things in the War Room. Which is disappointing, but he says Charles Lena will find some way to sell/burn them. He says that he’s spoken to H&D, and while they don’t like it, they can’t really stop us from doing some of the renovations ourselves. This naturally raises the question: what renovations are we, then, going to do?

Getting all of the beer out of the carpet (by getting all of the carpet out of the room) is a good start. Bonnel reiterates that we can put down tile or faux wood, and that either way we need to stamp an enormous Wiess crest on the floor of the room. This is agreed to be generally awesome.

Matt Sorenson proposes that we make the war room such that it can be an OC student hangout during the day, and a space for chillin/partying (legitimate registered affairs only, of course) at night. People point out that this is what the OC lounge is for. Other people point out that the OC lounge kind of sucks. It is decided that maybe we could buy the OC lounge a nice table or get rid of that nasty fridge full of cake from last year.

Becky brings up the fact that the War Room may someday in the future get used for storage again, and then become all beaten up/lame, as it is at present. She mentions the possibility of Wiess organizing a public storage space for Wiessmen, so as to provide storage that is not the War Room. Bonnel suggests that we codify “War Room Regulations,” so as to ensure that people don’t mess with the War Room in the future, even when we’re gone.

Various other modifications to the War Room are proposed, centering on the already proposed booth seating and sexy lighting. It is decided that the renovations will be put before Cabinet once they are all planned, and then approved and carried out.

COLLEGE IS FOR LEARNING SOMETIMES

Lauren Schoeffler wants to talk about merging the STC Chair position with the College Course position. Conveniently, she holds both. This helps her convince us that this is a good idea. Becky doesn’t want the College Courses (courses taught by faculty through Wiess) to die out. Problem: we haven’t had any in a few years, and they cost more money than STC’s. Also, it's hard to pay for both when we only have $2,000 alloted for Student Taught/College courses. We decide that Wiess should continue to have the best student-taught course program on campus, and that if professors approach us with interest in teaching a class, we can harass Dean Forman in order to get some more money.

SWIMMING BREAK

Roque and Austin, who actually have talent at this sort of thing, inspire everyone else to try and do backflips off the boat. Hilarity ensues.

NOD THEMES!

Charlie and Molly have compiled a list of NOD themes that are just the right level of offensive. We go through and reject a lot of them right off the bat. Highlights from the rejects:

POKENOD: CAN I SQUIRTLE ON YOUR JIGGLYPUFF?

This is the best theme ever. And it would probably lead to the creepiest costumes ever.

NINETEEN EIGHTY NOD: MR. GORBACHEV, TEAR OFF THIS BRA!

Although the concept of NOD-goers dressing as Ronald Reagan is a wee bit terrifying, I do think that the various speeches that will be given by political figures (Bush Sr., or so I’m told) on campus in celebration of the anniversary of the end of the Cold War would be best if attended in NOD attire.

NODZILLA VS. KING DONG

Picture this fight in your mind.

AND NOW, THE ACTUAL CHOICES ARE:

MAKE LOVE, NOD WAR: TIME TO PULL OUT

Hippies!

NOD SAVE THE QUEEN: SHOWCASE YOUR FAMILY JEWELS

The potential for decorating the Wiess commons as “Fuckingham Palace” cannot be denied.

THE WONDERFUL NOD OF DISNEY: YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME

It’s agreed that the actual wording of the theme could use work, but a Disney themed NOD has too much potential to ruin everyone’s childhood memories not to be considered.

SUMMIT ADJOURNED!

TFW,
Dan “Everything Should Be on a Boat” Nelson