Cabinet Minutes--3/18/09 Mason calls us all to order, and we are at once somber and rowdy at the prospect of LAST CABINET EVER (I'm in the denial phase where I refuse to believe that Cabinet can just go on without me as if we never shared something special). Then Mason forgets me during roll and I progress rapidly into the Anger stage, where, I admit, I am most comfortable. Jason doesn't have a proxy? And isn't here for the ten millionth time (approximately)? I motion to impeach him, and the motion passes. ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS Alex says to come fill water balloons because there's free Chipotle. Joe says the Beer Bike Barbecue will be this Saturday as well as the cornhole tournament, which you can get in on by emailing Molly. Travis says the OC Camp out is tonight after cabinet (actually, right now, but since Travis is at it, I bet it's already too late for you to go if you are reading these words). Sukh says the alumni powderpuff game is this Sunday at 11 with attached barbecue. Do you realize how easy it would be for you to subsist on nothing but free booze and barbecue this weekend? I'm just saying. Kelley is selling WhataWilly Week t-shirts now and during lunch for five dollars. I heard a rumor that if you wear them to Whataburger on Beer Bike when the moon is full and William Marsh Rice's ghost whispers on the wind, you get a free Whatachicken. Roque comments on my Microsoft Word minutes-taking set up, but I choose to hear a compliment instead. THE TRUTH IS WHAT I MAKE IT, ROQUE. BUDGET In a shocking bout of truth, Jason comes before us and states that he's sorry he hasn't been around lately. "Most of you probably think it's due to West Side Story, but the truth is, I've been investing Wiess' money in a massive ponzi scheme. I do have a diamond encrusted computer. I'm deeply sorry." I'm not saying "I told you so" because even I did not realize the full truth until this admission. West Side Story IS the ponzi scheme! This was their plan all along! Hopefully it isn't too late! Jason holds out his hands resignedly to Officer Ruth, saying he wants to turn himself in (and squeal on his singing, dancing cohorts?) and Officer Ruth HANDCUFFS HIM AND LEADS HIM AWAY!!!!! Seriously. Handcuffs him and leads him away! Then they just kind of stand in the back awkwardly. Finely Officer Ruth says, "What? I don't carry the keys around with me. You'll have to go to the station." Epic. RELAY FOR LIFE Emily Page is here! She says that for the second year, Rice is hosting Relay For Life! It's 80s themed and they're trying to get Molly and the Ringwalds. So far, no one from Wiess is participating. So if you like running or raising money for the American Cancer Society (or, preferably, both) you should sign up! Talk to Christa if you have questions. TURNOVER BUDGET The amazingness of turnover is Tuesday! Yes, though this is the last time you will be graced with my insightful and timely cabinet minutes, I am still in charge of room reservations till Tuesday, afterwhich you and your desperate need for the PDR are someone else's problem (i.e. Dan Nelson's). Also, that Tuesday is pub night! In consequence, Brett and Becky need to open the alcohol budget to pay for kegs (shenanigans come free). Joe, in a trend that will continue throughout cabinet, despite that it has never worked so far this year, tries to motion "to give them whatever they want". Bo coaches him through the process of making a motion, making me once again suspect that Bo is a corrupt and seedy dictator. Anyway, motion to open alcohol and carryover for food passes. THE LAST JEREMY CAVES RANT I WILL EVER, EVER HEAR Jeremy Caves is back! And he has props! He says with our green funds we bought five desk fans and three room sized fans. If you want to rent one for the year, give him ten dollars (desk fan) or twenty dollars (room fan) as deposit. If you want to keep it, he'll keep your deposit. He also has shower timers that have sand inside and last for four minutes. He describes them as "really a lot of fun". Roque says they've tried them out together. Arin asks how much they cost and Jeremy says they're cheap, like him, so you can keep them or give them back to him at the end of the year. He takes them out of the packaging and tries to demonstrate the high-tech suction cup technology by attempting to stick it to his forehead. Brent asks if cold water counts as using water. Debates are inconclusive. WIESS ART SHOW Michelle announces that the Wiess Art Show will be April 10th in the Wiess commons. The budget is $400, but she needs $400 more for hanging and matting supplies, as well as the food and alcohol. Last year the art show Rob put on was RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING (we even heard tell of its greatness in Scotland) but this year it will also be amazing because it will be in the commons where the art will stay for you to appreciate long after the last cube of cheese from the reception has been consumed. Motion to give her $200 from alcohol and $200 from nonbudgeted passes. Dr. Gustin says this is yet another example of Wiess being a leader (see: Student Taught Courses, making hideous colors look good). OC CAMP OUT Once again, the virtues of the OC camp out are extolled to us, this time by Laura who says they will be watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Motion to give her $69.69 out of her budget passes to pay for smores, etc. ASSOCIATE'S NIGHT INVITATIONS Sukh has a problem because they've already spent $150 on swank Associate's Night invitations but they don't know how much money is left in the Associate's budget since Jason joined the West Side Story Mafia. Motion to give her $150 out of carryover passes. When asked, she says Associate's Night will be April 7th at 6pm and mutters the word "berries" a lot, but away from me, so I don't know what that means. Hopefully it will involve some kind of berry picking! Or Barry Manilow! GAMING Bo says that soon he and Matt will buy the awesome TV for the upper commons (but don't hold you're breath, he's been saying that all year). He says it would be awesome if there was a gaming system there too and asks if anyone has an old N64 or something. Everyone descends into chaos. I flashback to pwning at the original Sonic the Hedgehog. So many golden rings! SEAT OF SHAME SEAT OF SHAME SEAT OF SHAME Rob says that he is doing the Senior Slideshow, so if anyone has pictures of us glorious seniors they should send them to him so he can put together something as angsty as it is uplifting. Rice fitness programs are doing a 5k on April 11th and want to know if Wiess wants to sponsor students to run. Because we don't know how many Wiessmen will participate we motion to give them $50 out of Appropriations. Charles says they need to open the budget for Jamfest on April 10th. Discussion you really don't care about happens, and motion passes to open nonbudgeted and alcohol! Charles also says NCAA tournament starts tomorrow and you should join his pool and pay $5 because you could win $100! Dr. Gustin won last year. I smell foul play. Alex says Ariele has an SLR camera that Dr. Bill gave to us and wants to know if he's the camera rep now or what? After much mumbling about the Wiess Historian and Wiess Photographer, a straw poll decides that we should next year have a Double-Headed Wiess Historian (i.e. two people, not some kind of mutant. I guess one of them could be a mutant), one taking care of photography and one taking care of the PDR, plaques, and apparently collecting T-shirts and Wiess themed board games. Only Brent is opposed to this because he fears change. MOTION TO ADJOU-- No, wait. Adrian says he has an N64 at home. After a dramatic pause, he says he's willing to give it to Wiess. MOTION TO ADJOURN FOR REAL PASSES!!!! And so, Wiess, I bid you farewell. However, if you, like Travis Martin, will still be jonesing for your bi-weekly dose of Patricia Is Easily Annoyed or even Patricia's Paranoia Turns Out To be Totally Justified, you could visit http://www.patricialadd.com for even more excitement and poorly-remembered dialogue. Kisses! Patricia the Secretary (pladd@) Go To Cabinet Yourself, I'm Tired |