Happy Birthday Cabinet Minutes--2/11/09

This week's Special Early Edition of Cabinet brought to you from the WAR room, with accompanying cupcakes and special beverages. Mason calls roll! Both Jason and Bova have proxies who turn out to be, strangely, even more enthusiastic.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Someone named Matt is here! He is running for SA president! He wants to let us know that right now the SA is more like a club than a representative body and wants to change that. If elected, he promises to stand up to the administration and take issues directly to the top, to the people who can make changes (Dhruv?). SA elections will open the 20th and he urges everyone to exercise their democratic rights to guard against the rising threat of fascism in these economic times!

Arin, Chief Justice, tells us that Wiess budgeted $2000 for damages this year, and we have already spent $2300. This does not even include Beer Bike, H&D's damages milk cow! She urges all of us to be more careful about public spaces, especially in the second floor kitchen, where a disproportionate amount of damages have occurred. Court will be addressing this on an individual fines basis, please see the list serv. Duly chastised, we fall into an awkward silence.

Christa announces that her office is holding a non-profit internship and career fair in the grand hall next Thursday from 2-5. Mason wants to work with Christa, but Matt doesn't want to see her more than he already does. Brent throws a cupcake wrapper at him, but it hits Alex instead.

BUDGET and APPROPRIATIONS
Zach is proxying for Jason and actually pronounces the T in budget, which makes me sad. Apparently Jason's computer is still broken, so there is no budget to show us, but Zach assures us that Jason has assured him that Wiess is still not bankrupt. I think this is just getting sketchier and sketchier. How do we know that Jason doesn't have a proxy because he's already absconded to Mexico with our precious money? Who will pay for my cheese sticks now?

Appropriations has advised us to give $90 to the sophomore archis who are raising money for their required trip to Paris. People repeat that it's required over and over until motion passes to give them the money.

HONOR CODE AMENDMENTS
People read too far into the symbolism of my agenda formatting for awhile, and then Lindsay and Erin tell us about Article XII of the honor code, which will be up for vote on the SA ballot. Basically, Article XII says that, if accused of an honor code violation, you have three days to either show up or withdraw from the university and either transfer or come back in a year, when it will be as if nothing had happened. Apparently this widely-used clause is left over from a time when the Honor Council was a shifty council of shadowy figures bent on the destruction of their fellow students. Erin and Lindsay assure us that they are not like that now. Lindsay urges us to vote to repeal Article XII since there has to be a 75% majority and she will be having a study break Monday in the commons.

BO TALKS
Bo tries to jump in "on that note", by telling us to also carefully read the blanket tax increase requests on said ballot before immediately voting yes or no. He admits that some are ridiculous (RPC wants $45 more per student--to throw another concert? Or to gold plate the RPC president? Suspicious) and some are legit.

WIESS ELECTIONS
Hoping no one will notice his interruption of the set agenda, Bo speeds quickly into the item that he's actually supposed to talk about. Elections will be Monday and Tuesday at lunch and dinner for every position except OC Rep, since we don't know who's OC yet (good luck, freshmen!). An unheard-of SIX people are running for president, which means that voters will rank the candidates one thru six, points will be assigned, and then some math will happen (good luck, Adam!). Speeches will be on Sunday at 9pm; Bo urges you to tell your friends. Matt wants to know what he should do since he has no friends. Bo says running for president may not be the best decision then.

SENIOR EVENT COMMITTEE or BO TALKS MORE
Bo says he wants a separate senior list serv so that we can all hang out and bond. Sukh screams at a frequency only dogs can hear until we acknowledge that because she is graduating she can count as a senior.

OC THEME DINNER
Laura and Travis report that they are hard at work planning this semester's themed dinner! They say that this year H&D is charging them a linen cleaning fee so they need to open their budget. Erin volunteers to eat off of dirty linen. I volunteer to eat off the table like my Viking ancestors (or freshmen year). Despite our environmental friendly suggestions, motion to open their budget passes.

THE OC and WHAT THE ELECTION MEANS FOR THEM
Laura and Travis also want to open the meal subsidy budget for lunch Monday and Tuesday for OC students who vote. Motion passes. Bo shouts that he's sick and that he doesn't "want to put his mouth on that". Everyone shouts "That's what she said!" Erin and I are discussing ways to get out of being charged for linens, so Bo is forced to reenact the scene so that I can write it down. I therefore assume this is the most important part of the minutes so I hope you're paying attention.

BIKE TEAMS!
Arin is a bike captain! She wants to open the bike team budget for a new bike and a tool set. Brett says that Dhruv must have four by now, but Arin says she wants her own. She also wants to open the alcohol budget for a keg for mock beer bike Feb. 21st. Motion to open both budgets passes!

TRAYLESSNESS
Rory is not here! Also, we suddenly realize that JEREMY CAVES is not here?!? Will I go an entire cabinet without hearing one of his long-winded rants criticizing my shower use (I like to sleep to the sound of running water), my laundry strategy or other minutia of my daily life? How will I cope?? We conclude that he is probably sitting in the Upper Commons with the lights off wondering where we all are. So emo right now, Jeremy!

SEAT OF SHAME SEAT OF SHAME SEAT OF SHAME
After a long silence of awkwardness, Laura and Travis get up again to announce that there will be a Hobo Potluck at the Master's house sunday at 6pm for all OC students. Bring a plate, silverware, and food!

Then Rory arrives!!! He says he did not know he was on the agenda and ran up here after reading the email. He seems to think this is my doing, but we all know this is a ploy by Bo to damage Rory's reputation, already tarnished by the Great Cheese Stick Scandal of the Jones Picnic. He explains that at the last SA meeting it was decided (or mandated?) that all colleges will go trayless hopefully after spring break. Trays will be available on demand, but only if you have a disability that necessitates you using one (like Alex Mainor's klutziness and supremely pretty hair?). Mason suggests the servery auction off the trays for money, and Brett wants next year's freshmen reps to make us trays. There is much talk about moving soup/salad/drinks out of the servery proper but no one knows what's going on. Eventually Bo and Rory both tell us that there's probably nothing people who hate the environment can do to stop this from happening. As someone who will drop a class if it's farther than Huma, I feel your pain. It's definitely WAY too hard to walk back into the servery for a drink. My elderly senior legs just can't take it.

Seriously, come on, ya'll. Stop whining.

Motion to adjourn passes! Huzzah!

With elections coming up, you should give serious thought to running for the best of all positions: Secretary! While ruling room reservations with an iron fist, you also get to valiantly go to cabinet so that everyone else doesn't have to! Basically, it's like being a super hero, but sometimes there's cupcakes!

With love,
Patricia the Secretary (pladd@)
"I go to cabinet so you don't have to."