 |
AMERICAN SEX BUTTER Various people speculate over whether this is an actual product or not. The general consensus seems to be: no, but it should be. ATTENDANCE Everyone is here. Travis looks a lot different though. Matt motions to impeach Charlie, probably because Charlie is too hot for him to handle. Also, Mimi forgets about Joe again. I STILL DO NOT LIKE THE ANNOUNCEMENTS SONG But we only have a few, very brief announcements. Mike says that there is a Masters? Tea tomorrow. People cheer. Laura Bargalow says that we have an associate-sponsored tex-mex cooking class coming up soon. People cheer. Charlie Dai says that NOD decorations will be ongoing throughout the break, so come help out. People?s childhoods are ruined. TENNIS Becky announces that something tennis-related is going on in the movie room at 10 tomorrow, and that maybe the freshmen might want to check it out possibly. REJECTION! Not at tennis. Rather, Bonnel motions to reject the budget. This is the first time that this has happened in quite a while. Hooray! AWESOMENESS! Now I, for the first time this year, get up to talk to Cabinet. Joe promptly fills in as secretary. Recap from his notes: Some teacher people want to reserve the commons during spring break and we should probs let them. Some other peeps ask some questions, the most important of which is asked by Becky, which is: how much will they drink. The probable answer is: ALL OF THE ALCOHOL Come on. They?re high school teachers. One time I had a high school teacher who came into class with a fifth of Jack Daniels. And then he drank it, and yelled about how us kids just wouldn?t shut up and leave him alone. AHHH, MEMORIES. Becky also notes that we should check with tabletop to make sure that nothing conflicts. The motion to give the teachers the commons passes with that caveat. BUT WAIT! THERE?S MORE! In case you weren?t at cabinet, the agenda is now posted on the TV in the upper commons, thus saving all the trees wasted when I print paper agendas. However, the cable that I?m using to do so I stole from Charles Lena, and he?s experienced at swordfighting. Therefore, I ask Cabinet for money to get a cable. They decide that this is a good idea. TAPDANCE! Would be like Flashdance, but in the 1920?s. Stuart wants to buy 4 more taps, so that Wiess has a total of 5 taps. This is a good number of taps to have for things like NOD. Stuart also points out that the taps keep on disappearing, but that he?s going to develop an accountability system so that they?ll hopefully stop. Joe mentions that we can engrave TFW on the taps. We decide to give Stuart $200 to buy taps, and it is also declared that anyone who wants to borrow a tap has to put down a $10 deposit, which can be redeemed when the tap is returned. THAT?S THE UGLIEST RASH I?VE EVER SEEN Is just one of the tidbits of advice that you can receive from the Rice Health Advisors, who are now holding office hours in the small classroom from 12-1 every Tuesday. Nick Arnoudse, the head Wiess RHA, also says that there is a ?Male Mailbox? in the commons, which contains condoms and lube. He also says that health advisors have to take a class now in order to be health advisors, making them essentially mini-doctors. He finally mentions that there are flu shots available at Health Services. Molly says that they are free to people with asthma. I HAVE ASTHMA Does that mean I can get all the shots I want for free? Because I assume there?s a black market for them, and I can get a lot and then sell them for a profit. Mimi says she used to have asthma. Matt says that he?s coughed before. STOP TRYING TO INTRUDE ON MY BLACK MARKET, MATT It?s a dangerous place anyway. You?d only hurt yourself. PIRATES Have eye patches. As we?re Wiessmen, we get Wiess patches! Bonnel says that the Wiess patches are arriving on Monday. He says that he wants $500 to cover the initial order, and that he?ll sell the excess patches to various alumni on Beer Bike and pay cabinet back through the in and out budget. Becky motions to let Bonnel in and out. The motion passes. SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK Natalie is back, with facts about Dyson vacuums! She says that the cheapest good Dyson that we can buy costs $400, and that it DOES come in Goldenrod. This is ridiculous. Furthermore, she says that it comes with a 5 year warranty, provided that we don?t do anything ridiculous with it, like ride it down the hallways. Charlie Dai says that he thought that the Dyson was a riding vacuum, like a riding lawnmower. We motion to give Natalie $400 out of the vacuum budget and carryover. EVERYONE E-MAIL DHRUV Bonnel mentions that H&D will steam clean your room for free once a semester. We decide that we should coordinate a mass e-mail to Dhruv, requesting steam cleaning for everyone. CASHMONIES Joe and Doward want more people to come to powderpuff games. Because of this, they ask for $50,000 to give the first person to go to the next powderpuff game a new car. We give them $200 from non budgeted for fajitas, smores, and general awesomeness. ESSAY Rachel Liontas says that it?s time for us to gather round and learn stuff about the SA. First, she tells us that the SA has a test bank, so we should check that out if we ever study for anything ever. MARTEL IS A FAILURE And because of this, Rachel says that the administration has a new way of populating the new colleges. For those of us who?ve missed the 800 e-mails about the procedure, here it is again: e-mail invites will be sent out to sophomores and juniors randomly on the 16th. The invitation will say how many people you can bring with you, but the invitation will not guarantee that you can live with them, or that you?re even guaranteed housing. The dean?s office is reasonably sure that you?ll have oxygen to breathe when you transfer, but they won?t guarantee it. It is mentioned that there?s going to be a wooing party for people who get invites. My concept of a wooing party involves a lot of people standing around and going: WOOOOOOOOOOOO! So that should be fun. Or at least loud. TAXMAN The SA is going to establish a blanket tax accountability committee, since the blanket tax money that we all pay to certain organizations isn?t always used for the best things. For example, UBlue received a dollar from each student for the past 2 years, even though it didn?t exist. The fact that the university is funding imaginary organizations is slightly troubling. WHO DREW? Rachel says that the SA is having a t-shirt competition! 800 copies of whichever design that wins will be printed and sold. Photoshopped pictures of Leebron are encouraged. Submit designs to pat1@rice.edu REMEMBER HOW WE DON?T HAVE TRAYS ANYMORE? Well, we reduced servery water waste by 9%! And food waste by 2%! CAN I HAVE MY TRAY BACK NOW? I promise to still like trees. SEAT OF SHAME! SEAT OF SHAME! SEAT OF SHAME! SOD Adrian wants new grass for the acabowl, still. People ask him if he?s talked to anybody about it since the last time he was at cabinet. He says no. Mike says that he should e-mail Frank Rodriguez, who is apparently omnipotent. Adrian promises to do so and get back to us. DAMMIT The newspaper people are being bitches, and have decided not to give us newspapers even though we would pay for them. I feel that this goes against economics, as well as common decency. Mike mentions that he still gets a newspaper. I suggest that Mike order 30 copies of the New York Times. MMMMBOP Bonnel has a happier announcement: Hansen is coming to Rice. Like, Mmmbop, 90?s pop sensation, Hansen. Holy shit. The 12-year old girl inside of me is really excited. MAN, THAT WAS A CREEPY SENTENCE. Sorry. BACK TO HANSEN Apparently, they?re coming to the bookstore on Halloween to sign the book that they wrote. Also apparently, they wrote a book. Christa says that they?re going to be doing a charity walk around campus, and that they want people to walk with them. Then, they?re putting on a show! Becky says that anyone who hooks up with a member of Hansen wins at college. BRIAN ZALL, TAKE NOTE. ENVIRONMENT! Kelly announces that most people should have recycling buckets by now, and if not, e-mail her. She also says that H&D gives the colleges $1000 a year to spend on sustainability, which we?re using for composters, fans, shower timers, and laundry trees. Several people want to know what laundry trees are. THEY?RE TREES MADE OF LAUNDRY! Just kidding. They?re giant poles that you can use to hang your laundry out to dry. We decide that maybe we?ll put them on the acaterrace. CABINET ADJOURNED! TFW, Dan ?This confuses me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upgejnlYgSE? Nelson |