This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is fourty cat
This is seconds cat

Now read the the third word of each line

(\_/)
(O.o)
(> <)
/_|_\

This is Bunny

(\_/)
(^.^)
(> <)
/_|_\

This is the Commander of the Bunny Army

(\_(\_(\_(\_(\_(\_/)_/)_/)_/)_/)_/)
(O.(O.(O.(O.(O.(Q.Q).o).o).o).o).o)
(> (> (> (> (> (> <) <) <) <) <) <)
/_|/_|/_|/_|/_|/_|_\|_\|_\|_\|_\|_\

This is The Bunny Army.

(\___/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

This is the Bunny Army Mascot

Nobling letter


Hello,
You are receiving this Tmail because you sent me a message asking why I am nobling your village. I receive many of these messages every day, and it would be very difficult to respond to them individually. I will be using this form, provided by The G.U.D, to respond.

I am attacking your village because: (mark all that apply)

[]I'm not destroying you, I'm sending you to my fan club on the rim, you'll find lots of people just like yourself
[] I'm capturing villages in a specific pattern on the world map, a smiley face to be exact
[] You are no threat to me. Even if my attacks would fail, there is no way you could retaliate
[] You are small
[] I would like to take over bigger villages but most of them are either too strong or have a strong tribe backing them up
[] Your English is lacking
[] Our tribes are at war; what's it like under that rock of yours?
[] You are obviously not active
[] I want more villages
[] You are whiny
[] You are close by, better targets are just too far for me to noble
[] You have failed to pay tribute, maybe if you would have sent me some protection resources like everyone else on this continent...
[] I'm G.U.D
[] Just STFU
[] There is no need to justify this
[] Please? Stop? I don't know these words and I hate things I don't know
[] Because I can

Furthermore I find that:

[] Your caps lock key is broken
[] I don't like the way your shoelaces are tied.
[] This is like taking candy from a baby, only instead of candy, it's a village and instead of a baby.... well I don't know nor care
[] Alternatively I could decide to simply farm you rather then a full-out takeover, but that would leave your resources vulnerable to others and my troops are above the trivial task of hauling resources
[] I'm pretty sure your shirt is on backwards
[] You taste of fear, I like the taste of fear
[] According to our intelligence your sheep are highly fertile

As well, you:

[] Fail to understand this game is called tribal WARS
[] Failed to give your village a proper name
[] Failed to give yourself a proper name
[] Could have seen this coming when I scouted you, yet failed to respond

While I see that you are now making efforts to defend your village through diplomatic means, I do not care because:

[] It is too late as I've already sent my nobles and cannot cancel them
[] TOTUS VESTRI TRIBUS ES BELONG NOBIS
[] All your villages are belong to us
[] Your message has only infuriated me more
[] I'm G.U.D
[] I'm bored and need someone to attack

We at G .U.D thank you for your message. We would like express that your message is important to us. We hope this form response has answered any of the questions you had. If you have any further questions or comments please feel free to:

[x] STFU and upgrade your iron mine

Thank you again,
The G.U.D

Context: This tribe has been attacking me for somethime now with heavy causalties, so i am forcing an alliance on them i.e. either ally with us or get razed

Letter for gezgin019 (leader of Erksan) ...

I know that this is a retaliatory attack and i am ready to defend myself ... but consider this - given the time it takes for u to reach me, i can continuosly keep on attacking the village of gezgin19 .... in fact i can attack that village 55 times continuosly even before u reach me and each time i attack i will carry away the resources and bombard the village - so by the time u reach me, that village will be in stone age .... also, u will need a huge army to defeat my defending army .... so this is what i propose

After u have statisfied urself with the attack .... become our ally .... i appreciate ur fighting spirit and it will be good to have such an ally ..... and be quick with ur response because until u reply i will continuosly attack gezgin19's village every hour .... hoping to hear from u soon

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
hello friend. you are nearby and very strong our tribes have alliance, can you help me clear {Village Withheld}.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Uhh, I checked, we aren't allies. But I can help you clear it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
i know

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Know what?

after no response for an hour


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
What did you know already? You still want me to clear that village for you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
i know that we are not allies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Oh.

Wait what? Why did you say we were allies then?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
I dunno

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Your strange, and kind of creepy. What village did you want me to clear and how far have you gone? Do you have any scout reports?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
{Village}. scout reports?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Scouts... the white horsies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
O ya, and no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Ok, so let me get this straight. You message me because I am strong and pretend I am your ally in hopes of me thinking its right and helping you clear a village that you haven't even bothered to scout?

He reads it, doesn't reply til next day.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
scout?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
The goddamn white horses!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
o ya. i don't have any

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
2000+ points and no stables?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
i have the stables and the horses are useless. No damage, die too much

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
I cleared it for you. Are you gonna noble it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
noble?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokodemon
Woah, woah, woah. You made me clear that village and you are not gonna even noble it? Why did you want me to clear it then?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ID Withheld
so i can scout

the austin powers today at 14:19
I just hope it is all your offense or defense.

wandrille3 today at 14:58
nazi

the austin powers today at 14:59
why, thank you! <3

wandrille3 today at 15:00
do you play in other worlds?

the austin powers today at 15:02
Do you ?

I'll start if you tell me what other worlds you play.

wandrille3 today at 15:03
13, 15, 16 and 17. i have my own tribe in world 16.

the austin powers today at 15:04
cool, ill join them!

wandrille3 today at 15:05
lemme guess, no nobleman in the first attack?

the austin powers today at 15:06
hmm dose it matter ?

wandrille3 today at 15:08
it does actually

the austin powers today at 15:09
hmm than i guess you will have to wait and see but be careful ... you never know where are nobels and where not!

wandrille3 today at 15:09
ill take the risk

wandrille3 today at 15:12
well, ill be back in around...16 minutes?

the austin powers today at 15:13
good for you...

wandrille3 today at 15:29
well, heres my theory, i think that you have no noble man in the firs tattack. i think its to wipe my troops out. but i cant be sure. though i knowe for sure you have a nobleman in your last attack, and im guessing youll have sent more defensive troops than offesnive troops, so thats when i can send the support i sent to my sucky village, and hopefully, kill your nobleman...its my only hope, then i know youll end up nobling me in the end.

the austin powers today at 15:34
HAHAHA :D nice theory you have there :D

Ill tell you when attacks hit.

wandrille3 today at 15:36
ok. to tell you the truth, this isnt even my main world, world 13 is, and i know that, if i resist this attack, i wont resist the next, but i just hope that out of the 2 of my friends you nobled, im the first one to resist =D. itll be even cooler since i had less points than them..

the austin powers today at 15:38
be patient ! :)

wandrille3 today at 15:42
O.O one minute left! lol

the austin powers today at 15:44
:D yep all fakes ! reason ?

One of your tribe mate mailed me and asked if i can stop attacking you. Because you are making panic on forums and asking for support that is 100+ hours away from you. I just had to send you fakes :D :D :D

wandrille3 today at 15:45
l00000ls....disapointed, wanted to see how id do, but i guess it doesnt hurt to keep this village =D...thats what my brother guessed btw, cuz the attack where to quick after each other..

wandrille3 today at 15:50
soo, what happens now? i live happily everafter?

the austin powers today at 15:51
well don't know about everafter but for now yes. Got some bigger fishes to fry.

wandrille3 today at 16:18
around me? hope your not going for mcfs.

the austin powers today at 16:22
maybe one day

the austin powers today at 22:03
So how are you doing ? :P

jross10 today at 22:24
mm yeah ok!

the austin powers today at 22:24
So why did you launch Noble on me?

jross10 today at 22:26
oh i wanted to see if you had troops on that village and i axidently sent a noble guy with it!

the austin powers today at 22:27
ok, so i guess you don't know why are scouts for ?

jross10 today at 22:29
oh so you youse scout for seeing how many points a village has?

jross10 today at 22:30
well i am realy angry at that sir nath dood he noble one of my realy good villages but if i try and get him back he will just keep on nobling me!

jross10 today at 22:32
People from your tribe are nobling me or attacking me!

the austin powers today at 22:33
Are they ?

jross10 today at 22:33
yes they are!

the austin powers today at 22:35
what should i do to stop them?

jross10 today at 22:37
Well no because there in your tribe but its wierd that they are attacking me both of those players in your tribe are attacking ME so they must of planed it!!

jross10 today at 22:40
Yes i thought this 2 of your members are helping each other to noble my villages!

the austin powers today at 22:46
hmm, they are harsh aren't they ?

jross10 today at 22:47
Mmm. I also found out that your tribe has put up all my villages in the noble claim!

the austin powers today at 22:50
who told you that ? He must be fooling you...

jross10 today at 22:50
Um sir nath2

the austin powers today at 22:51
No wonder :P

How can you believe him ? He nobled your village... i wouldn't trust him.

jross10 today at 22:52
lol ok well all i know is that i am losing another village by tomorrow because of him and this other person in your tribe!

the austin powers today at 22:54
no you aren't ! Just believe in your self and you will win!

--------------SURVEY START--------------------

Dear [player]persion getting the letter[/player] of the [ally]your enimy's tag[/ally] Tribe,

I speak on behalf of my tribe [ally]your tribe's tag[/ally]. We are aware you have been been acting hostile to certain of our members thus you are required to fill out a survey regarding our services. This is regular routine on and standard protocol/procedure in our tribe.

Dear Client,

We have been in service to many tribes before your own and to improve our service, we would like you to answer a few questions to improve future service to our Clients. To ensure the freshness of our products and improve future sales to your tribe, please fill out the survey.

1.Initiation Of Service
1a) Were your tribe's threats countered with a mail from our diplomat/council? If so, what kind?
1b) What type of mail would you like delivered to you in the future? Your choices are the following:

A.Witty| B.Sarcastic| C.Sexually Orientated|D.Comedic|E.All of the above|F. None of the above(please state)

Our previous clients have enjoyed choice E thus we highly recommend it to you.

2.First Action Of Service
2a) Were our scouts effectively shipped to your location? Was the package damaged during transport? Was the speed of shipping and delivery acceptable for your needs? Did we successefully invade your privacy with our scouts? If so, rate it from 1-5
2b) How would you like us to deliver initial packages in the future? You have the following choices:

A.100 Scouts B.250 Scouts C.500 Scouts D.All of above combined

D was selected by most of our clients and they have reached satisfaction. Thus D is highly recommended to you.
NOTE: Selecting D, we will provide immediate discount and mail-in rebate of 50 scouts extra

3.Quality Of Assault
3a) Was the size of our assault acceptable to your needs? Did you recieve what you ordered? Was the speed of your demise decent? Was your wall destroyed? If so, was the speed acceptable? Please rate from 1-5.

3b) i) What size would you like your assault? You have the following combinations:

A.Scarce and seperate from 20 different locations B.consecutive 100 fake attacks followed by an assault of 2mil men. C.All of above combined


SPECIAL OFFER: Order C, and you recieve an immediate Noble coupon! This coupon can be used to get a discount of 70% on future noble attacks.

3b) ii) Was the destruction of your wall decent? Did we successefully diable your Rally Point? How would you like your future orders treated?

A.2 seperate attacks with the latter diabling your wall, rally point and destruction of your farms. B.Our All-In-One premium bundle with included single nobleman. C. All of above

Order C or B, and we will send complimentary baby wipes and tissue for sad aftereffects of your village's demise.
All different measures were accepted by different clients. Thus there is no recommendation

4. Overall Rating

Please rate our first attack from a scale of 1-10.

FUTURE ORDERS
For a new order of our products, please state so in the reply as well as the following:

Quantity Of Attack
Quality Of Attack Logic(LOW-MED-HIGH)
Sarcasm Of Next Threat(LOW-MED-HIGH)
Noble Included?

For additional information please visit our TOS at
you.justgotowned.com

SPECIAL OFFER: After 3 Weeks continuous use of our products, we will send a complimentary Fate T-Shirt and Hat to all you

DISCLAIMER: OUR PRODUCTS ARE NOT AUTHORIZED FOR RESELLING TO SEPERATE CUSTOMERS. DOING SO WILL FORCE US TO ENGAGE IN LEGAL ACTION BY SENDING OUR MIDGET LAWYERS AGAINST YOU(lolwut?)

For the best quality, we recommend purchasing our noblemen package(sold seperately)

We thank you for improving our customer service. We will ensure new products will definetely make it to your doorstep. Thank you for choosing [ally]your tribe's tag[/ally].

Remember At Fate, "Customer Satisfaction Is Our Satisfaction"

------------------SURVEY END------------------------------