The Vancouver Hash House Harriers

Run No1251

of

1600, Saturday, 30-October-2010

at

Moody & 21st Av., Queensbury Elementary, N Vancouver

by

Aw Fuck It and YFI

 

Kreme Filled, Manhole, Spermanator, Swish, Dangler, Plunger, Pylon, Pigeon Stool, Analyser, Mad Dog, Low Blow & Lucy, Impaler, Do Me First, Maple Dick, Beheader, Porno Prick, Abysmal, & Roast. Much later, Goat Fucker, Hardon and Cream Puff

What is so impressive about the hash are the organisational efficiencies, keen and perceptive management, one dedicated objective, the high personal standards maintained by its adherents, and our great personal beauty. No blind fumbling around for us! No doubts about who, why, where and what we are - and it is during the annual Halloween Run that these remarkable assets are so very well displayed.

And, so indeed it was. The hounds milling around in various degrees of deshabille are excited by the prospects of a run through the liberal streets of North Vancouver, and indeed we have already received odd-looks and a couple of wolf whistles while circling-up. Finally, the hare arrives and instructions are issued, and then its off North to Highway 1, then SE along the side of the highway, before curving gracefully around to the West and a steady climb North up to the old quarry and the beer check within the boundaries of Greenwood Park.

The beer check is a work of art requiring rudimentary climbing, nursing and orienteering skills, and is located amongst the rusting bed springs, needles, discarded drink containers and other detritus associated with furtive copulation that all of us are so familiar with. But, what a great venue for a gathering of diverse and interesting costumes from bed-bugs to bats via big-busted policewomen, knights, witches, bitches and babes escorted by a macabre mix of Lady-Ga-Gas, pumpkins, Afgahani butt-pluggers and dick-heads all in the brooding half-light.

Sated at last (well, the cooler is empty) we struggle back to the School for Down Downs where all receive their just desserts, and the initial votes to select best costume are made. Swish burbles incessantly about his impending birth and judging by his girth this is indeed imminent. It is only later that we establish it's Anna, his daughter, who is giving birth and that Swish is supposed to be crouched by the telephone to await the news... of course he isn't, he's with us pissing it up with us in North Vancouver.

The happy throng moves like molasses from the school to AFI's where YFI is tending a magnificent repast of chilli con carne, pulled pork, salads and fixins'. The hash falls on this like Berlusconi on a Tunisian tart and in no-time at all it is all gone and a serious attack is made on a ferkin of beer. Plunger wins the main prize for best costume, P2 is runner-up - well done! Maple Dick is terribly disappointed, but his costume is confusing... is he another Lady Gaga or is he just gaga? We shall never know.

A bloody good time was had by all. Thanks to Hardon for remaining compos mentis and delivering P2 to the right side of the 2nd Narrows and Swish to his telephone. Well done Goat Fucker and Roast for services to beer. Thank you AFI & YFI for the venue and  excellent food. And finally, a round of applause for Impaler and Dangler, our inestimable GMs for organising an excellent event.

What mother could not love a face like this, imagine waking-up next to it... What light through yonder window breaks? Her vestal livery but sick and green, And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off! Ah, only Shakespeare could say it so well

 

Next weeks run will be No1252 and will take place under the South end of the Patullo Bridge in Surrey courtesy of Malice. Bring your morals down a notch and enjoy an afternoon in the Trailer Parks of Surrey.