Around Thanksgiving 2008, a person who shall remain nameless (to protect the guilty) pointed me to an article on Bacon Today describing a monstrosity known as the Turbaconducken (pronounced tur BAcon DUCK en).

For those of you who are as blissfully clueless as I was, we first need to define the basic turducken:

• A deboned turkey stuffed with
• A deboned duck stuffed with
• A deboned chicken stuffed with
• Something tasty

Of course, there will be some air gaps between each bird, which must be stuffed with something. Normally three different stuffings are used, as in this tasty-looking recipe (scroll down to find it).

I have absolutely no idea how I managed to get roped into agreeing to cook this thing. There was probably some form of threat involved, but I really don't remember at this point.

There is one important feature of the turducken that truly makes it a turducken:
The birds must be deboned. Or at least the bodies of the birds do - the legs may have the bones intact for presentation purposes.

The turbaconducken recipe did indeed look quite tasty, but in our opinion it fell short of being considered a true variant of the turducken family. "Why", you may ask?

Because they kept the bones intact in each of the birds.

Ponder this statement for a bit. Mull it over in your mind and consider just how short these brave culinary experimenters fell from the pinnacle of pure bacony-turduckeny goodness.
It is a damn shame, and we decided to rectify their error to the best of our meager cooking skills allowed.

Join us now in our journey of taste and smell, of drool and dying from a heart attack at a young age. Join us for ... THE TURBACONDUCKEN!

Alfred's Assembly - 12/27/08
Cooking Alfred - 12/28/08
Meet the "Chefs"
Dining and Conclusion
Appendix A: Recipes