Several of the IT Forum Participants were planning a trip to New York to see Gabriel Bryne in Camelot, so before we left, I wrote this comical episode to commemorate the event.
EPISODE 45: The gang vist NY to see Camelot
Paul: Touched its good to see you again. I see you've brought the other abductees with you. Well, come inside. Take a seat on the couch. Sit, everyone, please, sit,make yourselves comfortable.
Paul: They don't sit they don't speak. What the fook is wrong with them, They're just staring at me.
Touched: They're in shock, Paul, I really should have prepared them better.
Paul: Fooking-hell, One of them has just passed out cold, Another is opening and closing her mouth but no sound is coomin' out. The rest of them are blathering something unintelligible about King Arthur.
Touched: We've just seen Camelot. You were fabulous, they begged me to bring them here after the show
Paul: That's not me in that show, it's Gabriel Byrne. These women can't tell us apart can they?
Touched: Do you really have to ask? You can see for yourself, they are dropping like flies.
Paul: Can someone get some water for that one, what's her name?
Touched: Oh, that's MS421. I knew she'd be the first one to hit the floor. She's been in a trance mumbling about the shape of your upper lip for hours. This was more than she could stand.
Paul: Who are the others?
Touched: Well the one in the corner is Pmungle, she came all the way from Missouri to see you.
Paul: Gaizus, look at her, she's startin' to remove clothing.
Touched: I was afraid of this. Pmungle you promised! We agreed to act with dignity
Pmungle: Touched, You are sooo not the boss of me.
Paul: And who are those three over there?
Touched: The two passed out are Phillymiss and Julie827. The one still standing is Julie's neighbor. She isnt a fan.
Paul: Well the fookin neighbor-who-isnt-a-fan is startin' to take her clothes off too.
Touched: God this is getting out of hand, I knew I should have brought goggles for everyone.
Paul: What d'yew mean goggles? Are you talking about those sunglasses you're wearin'?
Touched: They aren't just sunglasses, they're safety goggles. They protect my eyes from direct exposure to your pheromone-rays. If I weren't wearing these, I'd be acting just like them.
Paul: You'd better do something fast, the neighbor is climbing up on the back of the couch and that Pmungle girl is getting down to her underwear.
Touched: Pmungle!
Paul:, Oh, I stand corrected, she isn't wearing any underwear.
Pmungle: You guys said I was the Activities Coordinator. This is my activity!
Touched: Jesus Paul, could you shut your eye for a few minutes so I can get a handle on this situation? Just close the lazy one that shoots out the mojo beam. You're killin us here.
Paul: The MS421 girl is waking oop. She's muttering something about Eros and Aphrodite's love child. Speak up MS, I'm having a devil of a time hearin' ya.
Touched: DON'T lean over her like that, if she gets anywhere near your upper lip, she'll bite it off. Really Paul you have no idea what you are dealing with here.
Paul: Don't look now but there are some other women lurking outside the window. Who the fook are they?
Touched: Oh man I think they followed us here. Rubyjcat, Nightwind, CountyMayo, they aren't wearing goggles either. This could get dangerous.
Paul: There's a fourth one out there and she carrying a knife and fork!
Touched: Oh my God, That's Hot4Gabe. Ok, this really getting serious now. Paul, If you open that door, she will eat you alive, there will be absolutely nothing left of you.
Paul: I'm almost 60 years old, I have wrinkles, my nose is big and crooked. I'm fookin Nick Nolte with a pot belly for Christ's sake. Why can't you control this mob?
Touched: We've all spent countless weeks trying to find the answer to that question.
Pauls: And???
Touched: We're stymied. But I'm sure it has to do with that lazy eye and the mojo beam..
MS421: (singing) Ohhhhhhh?.sweet mystery of life, I've found you!
Paul: Touched, can't you please loan that woman the damn goggles, just until she gets a hold of herself?
Touched: I guess I have no choice. Hopefully, it wont hurt me to remove them temporarily.
BOOM
Paul: What the fook happened to Touched?
Pmungle: She burst into flame. She never should have removed those goggles.
Paul: Ok, now you've done it. I'm going to have to call Kate in here to clean up this mess before my next patient gets here. She's going to start screeching at me about ignoring her again, then she'll proceed to tell me a long drawn out story about how many insurance salesmen she fookin. I'm on the verge of a full blown panic attack and our time is oop girls! I'm going to have to ask you all to get the fook out now!
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