You say that I did it to hurt you.

Why would I hurt myself?

You say that could have been cheating.

That is not possible.

Only you, and you alone,

really saw enough in me.

You, however, are beautiful, intelligent, vibrant, passionate

and you exude a sort of aura of aliveness and possibilities

that makes you irresistible. 

You can find someone else.

While I probably cannot.

You forced me to better myself.

I failed at this.

It took you, yet again, to force me to act.

Leaving me, that made me change.

I was not kind with you.

I learned to be kind without you.

I was ever searching for happiness with you.

Without you, I found an easy way ti happiness.

I did not value you while you were with me.

I valued you after you left.

Everything was too little, too late.

You meant the world to me.

Sadly, I was too numb,

so it took for the whole world

to be ripped from my life for me to notice.

Now I cannot tell you anything,

spare a word between us.

Only ten percent of me wants you back.

The remaining ninety percent just wants you as my friend,

in my life. Whatever makes you happy.

After you left, my world fell apart.

Almost literally. I lost most of my friends.

I became absorbed in harmful activities. 

There is not a thing I could put here, to end this.

 Gracie, I just think of  "I'm Yours" and "Collide".

I just hope that with ALL of my being, that you don't view me with hate.

The answer, after it is [d i s t i l l e d] , is 'Yes'.