The first thing we need to do is determine what 'our' adoption will look like.  It's a bit overwhelming at times with all the options, procedures and 'fears'

 

Here is a quick summary of the 3 basic types:

 

Domestic Infant Adoption:  These are either open or closed adoptions (with open adoptions the birth parents are in regular contact with you and the child).  The trend in the US is towards open adoption, or at least semi-open (meaning contact through an agency).  There can be a long waiting list, especially since birth mothers 'pick' you through a profile you submit.

 

Domestic Foster Care Adoption:  Like the title, this is adoption from the foster care system.  Children are typically older (average 8), but sometimes younger children, become available for adoption.  These children have been removed from their homes due to abuse, neglect, or inability for their birth parents to raise them.  They are only available for adoption once they are legally free, meaning their birth parents have been deemed unfit to care for them.  All attempts are made to help the birthparents get on track but sadly that doesn't always happen.  Because of the desire to reunite the children with their biological parents, it can take a significant amount of time for the children to become legally free.   There largest need is for people to adopt older children, special needs children and sibling groups.

 

International Adoption:  Again, like the title, this is adoption from another country.  Like all of the others, there is a large number of agencies that work with different countries.  The countries that adopt to the US tend to be poorer countries or countries with a very large number of orphans.  Some countries that are quite common between agencies are China, India, Bulgaria, Ethiopia, Haiti, Ukraine, and Russia (just to name a few).  These are considered closed adoptions and the children almost always live in orphanages.  Typically children are not available for adoption until 9-24 months of age at the earliest, depending on country.  The process for adoption can normally take 20 months to a few years.  Again, there is a larger need for adopting of older, special needs and sibling groups.  Special needs adoptions are normally quicker, sometimes even as soon as 9 months.

 

Special Needs Defined:  We think it is important to define this now, to avoid the thoughts most people get in their heads.   Here is what it could mean: 

    -Older Child (above 5)

    -Sibling Group

    -Child with correctable medical conditions (e.g. cleft lip, club feet, vision problem)

    -Child with minor or serious developmental delays

    -In the US, a child of a specific race

    -Child with more serious medical or emotional conditions 

Our path?

After prayer, research and discussion, we don't feel like our adoption path is on the domestic infant adoption 'road', for a variety of reasons.  Next we focused on gathering information on Foster Care and International adoption.  We consider the options often and have talked to a number of people that have used both pathways.