 "What if I had not believed to see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living?! Wait for the Lord; take courage and He will give strength to your heart; yes, wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:13-14)
Our last cycle of fertility treatments occurred in February 2009 (the full summary is in "the sad part"). During this month we continued to request additional information from adoption agencies and talk with people we knew who had adopted. In a somewhat odd way, though were trying to conceive, we were both becoming very excited about the prospect of adoption. We were really beginning to realize we had the ability to change the life of a child living in an orphanage or being shifted from foster home to foster home. These children have no place to call home in a permanent sense and may go about their lives believing that no one 'wants' or loves them. The more you learn, the more your heart breaks and we started to feel almost 'lucky' that through our heartache, we were actually being chosen to change this, if only for one child.
As you know by now, the fertility treatment in Feb. was again unsuccessful. The excitement we were feeling about adoption throughout the month prompted our decision not to seek further fertility treatments. Now or in the future. When we sought out fertility treatments we promised to be open to God’s prompting and we set limits on the treatments we would consider so that we weren't continuing down this road forever. At this stage, more advanced treatments were being proposed (e.g. IVF, surrogacy) which were options we determined were not right for us from the beginning.
So our first decision had been made and a new road was being formed. We shifted our focus from fertility treatments to adoption and in all honesty, we couldn't be more excited. We have a new path to concentrate on but we will need to develop more patience than we have already shown because the process of adoption will be lengthy and difficult.
Here we are in new territory, at peace and excited with our decision to adopt. We are so blessed that we are both on the same page and we are excited to move forward. It seems best to summarize the reasons we feel our lives are so blessed, despite the loss of 'biological' children:
· We strongly believe that this is the path God has laid out for us - we know this because of the peace we have felt with this direction, the support we've received on this decision already, and the excitement we feel.
· We are blessed by the love we have for each other and the support and understanding we provide for each other - it is amazing for us how much our love for each other has grown over our almost 7 years of marriage, but esp. during the last few years. We have had to learn how to best support and listen to each other, and although this has not always been easy and we are still learning, it is wonderful to see how far we've come. We are truly each others best friend and could never have grown this much had we needed to do it alone.
· Sadly, there is an amazing number of children in the world living in foster homes and orphanages, with no where to call home - we now have the opportunity to change that for even just one person - this is the most amazing part of all!! Sometimes it seems like we live in a bubble and don't really realize the amount of suffering out there. The more we read, the more we became aware of the tremendous need for homes for children of all ages, ethnic backgrounds and abilities. It is important to remember that these are all 'just' children, wanting love and a home like all children deserve.
· We are blessed by already being 'adopted' into God's family - the bible tells us that when we accept Jesus as our Savior we are adopted into God's family. Additionally, Jesus himself was 'adopted' by his father Joseph!
· We have good jobs and a good home - we have good and stable jobs and Joe has a job lined up now that he is done with his PhD. We have a nice home and all our basic needs, plus some, are always (and always have been) met. We know how important it is to try and not take this for granted!!
· We have very supportive friends and family who love us - this has been shown to us time and time again as we face different struggles in our lives. This support and love is almost overwhelming - we always have a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. Through the trust we've built with those around us, we are also able to share in the struggles of many of them as well. Life is an ongoing journey and the bumps and potholes on the road are what often knock us back into each other - it's wonderful to have such love surround us to pull us up or catch us every time!
· We have great access to resources to research adoption - the internet is a wonderful thing sometimes!! Also, we have had the opportunity to talk to many others about their experience as well - all very helpful!
We can already see that adoption doesn't only change the life of a child, it changes the life of the parents as well. We look forward to how all our lives will be changed!
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