Job has joined Facebook.

Job and God are now friends.

Job is: “#1 fan of God!!”

Job wrote on God’s wall: 
“Hey hey G thanks for all the sheep and kids and stuff.  I’ll hit you up with a burnt offering l8r.”

God wrote on Satan’s wall:
“Hey homes have you checked out this guy Job, he’s crazy blameless. I’ll bet you a cupcake or something that he’ll still be cool no matter what you do.”

Satan wrote on God’s wall:
    “Challenge? I accept.”

Satan has given Job a gift: Sabeans 

Messenger #1 wrote on Job’s wall.
“Boss, hate to be the one to tell you, but some Sabeans took your oxen and donkeys.  Don’t kill the messenger.”

Job is: “bummed.”

Satan has given Job a gift:  Fire

Messenger #2 wrote on Job’s wall.
“Eesh this is awkward now kind of lol… well some fire just come down and killed some more sheep and servants.  Don’t hate.”

Job is: “surprised at his misfortune but still luvs God :).”

Messenger #3 wrote on Job’s wall
“Hate to be that guy….but some more Chaldeans came and killed some more servants and your camels. I’m not too upset to be honest because I never really liked that guy Tim and, ok seriously, what did the camels contribute to anything.   But hey I’m not here- I’ll let you go mourn the loss of your fortune.”
Satan has given Job a gift: Wind

Messanger #4 wrote on Job’s wall.
“Hey Bud, hows it going…good?  That’s good….well I’m just gonna lay this out here…your kids are gonzo.  Aight l8r!”

Job has joined the group “Really, God?  Really.” 

Satan has given Job a gift:  Sores

Job is: #&*$%#*&

Job’s wife has left he group “Fans of God”

Job wrote on God’s wall.
“Dude, seriously?  What is your beef…I thought I was your fave.  And you best be writin something back.  Our wall-to-wall probably makes me look super pathetic.”

“It’s Complicated” Between Job and God

Job is now friends with Eliphaz.

Eliphaz wrote on Job’s wall:
“Sup Jo.  Ok so I’m pretty sure that to have all this crappy stuff happen you must have deserved it.  You obviously aren’t too righteous…. No worries though, he’ll fix you back up and you’ll be fine.  Peace.”

Job wrote on Eliphaz’s wall:
“Dude seriously?  That was like the worst advice ever. How about I kill all your children, servants and livestock and we’ll see how you’re feeling about the “you must have deserved it” line.  Way to drop the ball on that one. L8r…much.”

Job is now friends with Bildad

Bildad wrote on Job’s wall
“ok everyone knows ur blameless and everything, God is pretty fair, you’ll be fine…hang in there.”

Job wrote on Bildad’s wall.
“Bill i KNOW that im blameless.  Thanks so much for the brilliant insight.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter… God is too awesome, he do what he wants.”

Job is:  “frustrated at his useless friend and Goddd where are youuu ;alsaljdf”

Zophar wrote on Job’s wall:
“Jo don’t hate, you’ve obviously done something wrong to piss him off… he’s way too cool for you to be mad at, so just chill and let him do his thing.”

Job is: “Cool, Zo.  No yeah really tactful.”

Job has joined the group “My Friends Suck.”

God has written on Job’s wall:
“Ok Job, do you really think you’re in the posish to be questioning me?  Oh yeah yeah I guess you do since you created earth.  Oh wait, that was me.  Well hey you created all the animals and mountains and lakes and humans out of just dust…so I guess you should get some credit.  Oh wait…all that was also me.  So (and when I say this, I mean it in a loving father-to-son way)….quit whining- you’ll never understand me and let’s face it I’m just better/smarter/stronger anyway the point is don’t question me because I’m way to strong. 
PS- your friends do suck.
PSS- I feel like of lame that this post is so long…… ok whatever I’m sending it.”

Job is: “owned.”

God has given Job a gift: children

God has given Job a gift: riches

Job and God are now “In a Relationship”