I was completely surprised by God’s response to Job. Last week, I sad God was giving him an opportunity. I expected God to have a good reason that would explain why He would ever do such horrible things to His most loyal follower. I also said things like God was testing Job’s true faith in Him and that everything happens for a reason. To be honest, it never even crossed y mind that God’s response would be what it was. As I go back and look at my journal entries from last week, I have to admit I’m embarrassed by what I said. My responses to Job were very cliché and typical responses you would have if this story were taught in church. I’m so glad I’m in this class for this exact reason. Right now I feel very naïve because I obviously would have never guessed God would justify Himself the way He did. God said things to Job talking only in His past accomplishments and continuously talk of the amounts of power He has over everyone else. He names all He has done and created, asking Job if he had done any of these things. Ultimately once Job was redeemed, he was humbled. All works out well for Job, but for me as a reader I am not at all happy with how it worked out. I sit here rereading the passages I have marked, so confused and still surprised by God’s reaction. In Mitchell’s response to Job the simple but accurate statement “Job is a good man, not a wise one.” Job is so scared by what has happened to him that when he speaks to God he can say nothing other than trying to tell God what he wanted to hear. Later on the question of “can a man be just before God” appears my immediate reaction was no. I do not know that I could look at God and tell Him I think he was wrong, which then makes me question my relationship with Him. With best friends or boyfriends or family I know that part of really being close with them is being honest. So if I don’t think I can stand up to God, how close to Him is I really? Jung calling Yahweh illogical and incomprehensible really bothered me. It bothered me because I couldn’t help but to agree with his statement. From our class discussions it did become obvious that God was almost insecure by his great details He gave explaining His actions of greatness. Was He really threatened by Job? The creation story in Genesis I think is one of the most complicated stories that I know of in the Bible. God’s intentions are once again questionable, as they were in Job. God clearly knew how Adam and Eve would behave because they were created from God. This makes me think God wanted Adam and Eve to eat from the tree, but if this was the case, why didn’t He just originally tell them to eat the fruit in the first place? The effect the fruit would have on them was that there would not be eternal and there would now be sin on Earth. Again, this goes back to the question of if God wanted the fruit to be eating. If he did, why would He not just start out with sin and death on Earth in the beginning? I don’t understand the placement of the tree in the first place. Why put it there if God doesn’t want anyone to eat from it? If He did want them to eat from it so that Adam and Eve would receive the certain consequences, why not just start out their lives like that? Why would God want to inflict pain on those He created? It is frustrating because all of these question that hit me there are no answers to. On a different note, not taking the story so literal, if the Garden of Eden represents childhood, things seem to make a lot more sense. The first mistake is bound to happen in childhood at some point, so Adam’s first bite of fruit was inevitable, it was just a matter of when. I honestly have no idea when the first time was that I “took my first bite” but I’m sure it was at a very early age when I decided to disregard something my parents said to me. You are so easily corrupted at such a young age by temptations and those around us that it is impossible to maintain the innocence we were born with for very long. In class we talked about opposites, and how once you are able to see past them it is like returning to the Garden of Eden. This is ironic because in life in order to be successful it is crucial to be able to categorize things and know right from wrong. Somehow, we have to look past what we learn here on Earth so that we can become unaware once again. On Friday we talked about the flood during class and all of the possibilities of why God would want to destroy all that He created. The options that came up were God breaking a mirror, God destroying all wickedness, God as a potter, God choosing favorites, or looking at the story mythologically. A few of these seem like they could work to me and as I stare at my class notes from that day, the more confused I become. It makes sense that God flooded the Earth so that He could recreate what He originally fabricated going back to my same type of questions from last week, if God is all knowing, wouldn’t God know this was how life was going to evolve before it got to this point> I have gotten past that God is not perfect and he is good and evil, but still, the fact that He is all knowing does not match this theory. This makes me want to cancel all other theories out as well for the same reason. Looking at the flood as mythological and relating it to myself makes the most sense. Now entirely new sets of questions appear to me? How do I know when the flood in my life should take place, and how exactly do I make this happen? Not only that but how do I put myself in the situation so that I can benefit from it> there was only one flood, so should the flood in my life only occur once? If this is the case, I want to be sure it occurs at the best time so that it is helpful. And if I have no control when the flood takes place, I want to be sure that I am aware of it. At this point, I think that I control when this supposed total cleansing takes place, which means I can control how often that happens. Hopefully, I won’t feel the desire for a complete cleanse that many times in my life. Naturally, I will have a completely new life when I go to college next year and am mixed with tons of people that do not know my family, my past, or me like my close friends do here. While this is a form of providing me with a fresh start I feel as if this flood that takes place is supposed to be a purely spiritual one. As we talked about earlier in class, to truly understand God, you have to forget all ideas you have of Him already so that you do not set any limitations because there are none on God. Is this the cleansing or spiritual flood we are supposed to have ourselves? After reading the story of Jacob, it becomes obvious that God favors the under dogs in Genesis. He interferes in the lives of those who are deceived or are not treated as fairly as the others. This is evident in the story of Jacob with Leah and Rachel. Because Jacob only really loved Rachel, God made it possible for only Leah to conceive a child. Maybe this has changed over time, but I do not understand how this would help Jacob love Leah in anyway. Yes he needs to have children, but the simple fact that they have children together cannot change his feelings. He still has sex with her, but it is pointless because that alone will not get Jacob to love her. So while Leah has given an ability that Rachel was not for awhile, I question God’s exact intentions. In the end Rachel bore two sons herself, so Leah’s ineffective advantage of getting Jacob’s love was not even permanent. Why? Exodus is very enlightening to me in the fact that it encourages you to stop and notice what is around you. While Moses would obviously stop while walking and coming across a burning bush, I am sure that I have not noticed signs from God to myself in the past. When Moses stopped, he was able to hear the voice of God through the burning bush. I know that at this point in my life, it seems that I only try to listen to God, I am ashamed to say, when I have time and reminded of His, or feel as if He could help me in a certain situation. God calling me may not be as obvious as a burning bush, so from now on I want to try to look for signs and give things a chance that could possibly tell me something important. When Moses did this, he did not know what he was getting himself into when he came across the bush. When God first told Moses to take off his sandals and that he was on holy ground, Moses hid his face. The first time I read this verse, I wondered why this was Moses’ first reaction. I thought because Moses would be so honored and curious that this would be the last thing I would want to do. Although this is such a mirror detail in the story, it really got me to thinking how my reaction would have been if I were Moses. If I were him, I would probably would have done the exact same thing. I guess its because I think of Him as intimidating if I actually heard His voice talking to me. I think this is bad thing, and it shows insecurity, but obviously Moses is insecure due to all of his attempts to persuade God he should not go to Egypt. I would be scared more than anything that God would order me to do something for Him that I did not think I was capable of, or He would tell me something that I would not want to hear. As I write this it is starting to sound like I would be scared of what task I would be given or of my future. It’s as if I do not want to set myself up for failure, especially in God’s eyes. But isn’t that what ultimately makes me stronger? Because I don’t usually put myself in these type of situations, is this why on the previous page I said I thought I would hide my face in the presence of God just like Moses did? My strength is not yet there. So how do I get it there/ look for signs from God and not let myself be scared of failing. In class yesterday we talked about if there was any way we could possibly survive and live our lives without killing others. As I have thought about this, I don’t think this is possible without killing a life or something that could be a potential life. This is ok though because I think God put those things for us on Earth so that we are all able to survive. Also, the thought of Heaven and Hell being metaphors makes so much sense to me. I think its important that we try to see how we reach heaven on Earth- and more importantly, how do we know that we are there? |
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Hebrew Bible as Literature > Midrash >
Carson Holly |