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 Sweet Remembrances

By Agata Sciolino
  
Life is a storm of love, filled with emotions:
A rain of desires, soft clouds of sweetness and sensuality,
A wind of perfumes,
A peaceful seaside,
A hot, shining sun, a luminous moon,
Myriad stars of diamond.
The sky smiles,
While nature laughs, with its colours and perfumes.
 
I love remembering when this fantastic storm knocked on the door of my heart.
A new love arrived;
A fresh passion bloomed, like a red rose,Wild emotions danced in the water of the seaside-
I forgot all my sorrows, And played with perfumes, with colourful pomanders
And with all life’s beauties, in body and spirit.

 

Spring Thoughts By Grace Clement

 
April, hoping time,
When earth and air are filled with buds and singing,
Earth casting off its deadness with the spring,
Alive with warmth and ripeness once again.
I would, like any plant or tree, Awakening with April, Moult deadened skins of fear and pain,
Cocoons of outworn fantasy, to be
A butterfly
.
 

Speaking of Dinosaurs
By Louis Sawyer
 
They always take my brother everywhere, To theatres, parks, those places families go.
It must be fun for him, I wouldn’t know.
  One Sunday, before leaving, Papa said,
“You’re happy staying here, indoors,
Drawing your etchings, entertaining Grandma.
Besides, she needs your company;
Since Grandpa died, she’s been alone.”
“That was six years ago.”  “Still, she’s a widow.”
 
Grandma brings me plates of sweets, Setting them down beside my drawing pad,
Then sits and watches, as I mix my colors. I eat, although I barely taste those pastries,
But just keep gorging, so she’ll bring me more.
 
Later, one evening, Papa said,
"Your pictures look so dark and sad.
If you could draw one piece in cheering shades,
I’d hang it in my study; can’t you try?”
I did try; still, my work stayed bleak and dreary.
Then, thinking I had done so to defy him,
Shrugging, he sneered,” Fine, draw your dismal stuff.”
“Wait, Papa, I-““don’t tell me why,
I offered you a chance and you ignored me.”
 
"You’re growing fatter every day,”
My mama said, watching me dress, one morning.
"You could be pleasant-looking, but instead You’re eating yourself ugly.  Your behaviour
Is even worse. Last June, when Fritz was here,
Our oldest friend from home, talking with Andre
About fossils, you interrupted him
To whine, “I’m Reinhold”, for no earthly reason,
As I had introduced you when Fritz came.
Then, when Fritz and Andre had resumed,
In High German-you have neglected yours,
Among so many things, you said once more,
This time, in an even louder tone,
“I’m Reinhold”, as if none of us knew.”
“You didn’t.”  “What?”  “I mean, you never seem to.”
“More of your foolishness-not even sorry
To have embarrassed us in such a way.
Your Grandma cries when she retells that story,
As if it held some meaning all its own.
Why aren’t you graceful, like your brother Andre.
Only last Saturday afternoon, a lady,
Walked up to us in the park to say,
“You’re little boy just bowed to me,
Told me his name, then asked what time it was.
I wish I could adopt that darling angel.”
 
He keeps his Flemish accent rich and pleasing,
Studying fossils, archaeology,
So he can say, when we have visitors,
“Speaking of dinosaurs”, which, as no-one had been,
Makes it delightful, bright, oh yes, entrancing.
 
There lurks a dragon in the night;, I know
My hero-brother is afraid of water.
He claims he simply does not like to swim,
But I know better, hearing him, past midnight,
As he relives our crossing to this country.
Deep in his dream, he knows our ship is lost,
That he is flailing, drowning in the sea.
I do not wake him, no, just leave him tossing.
Then, edging closed our bedroom door,
I press a pillow on his face,
To keep his cries beyond our parents hearing.
I always know when to remove that pillow.
No, I’ll not kill him yet, not now, but one day,
When I’m deemed old enough to take a boat
Out by myself upon the river, somehow,
I will persuade him to risk rowing with me.
(Despite my weight, I’m one terrific swimmer.)
Somewhere that day, when faraway from land,
Our boat will over-turn; Andre will scream,
Not in his dream, but real, awake and drowning,
While I, the fat boy, swim away towards shore.
 
They always take my brother everywhere;
That day, I’ll stop them.

 


 
On Personal Ads
By Wendy Glover

 
“Greying, fat, honest and lonely
Age thirty-eight, with no friends and a history
Of fruitless dating-here I am, just me.”
 
If I were delving for a mate,
This man’s would be the only ad
To which I would give more than half a glance,
Due to its authenticity, amidst the roster
Of those which swagger, in their aggregate:
“Well-built, athletic, lean, slim, striking, handsome,
Caring, warm, gentle, sensitive, romantic,
Enjoying travel, quiet talks, slow dancing;
Financially and emotionally secure,
Equally glad to dine in elegance
In elite restaurants, on caviar,
Oysters, pates, soufflés, the finest wines,
Or on the floor, at home, with beer and pizza,
So long as I can be wherever YOU are,
Allowing me to love, support and nurture.”
 
To ME, Such cornucopias of joys,
Teasing, as a display of toys,
Sound calculating, hollow.
I don’t think I would care to know
Adonis or Apollo.
 
I would respond to one who said, in sum:
Well-groomed, attractive, kind, mature,
With human eccentricities and flaws,
Seeking somebody prepared to share
Pleasures and struggles, victories and losses,
Centred in one another and our union.”
 
I now have such a mate, whom I discovered,
Through such an ad, outlining the above-
Oh yes, we’re happy.
 


 
A Nurse’s Dilemma
By Louis Sawyer

 
“I know the secret of our universe.”
“Roll up your sleeve, sir, take your medication.”
“I don’t need drugs, just somebody to hear me.
”Sir, I’m a nurse; please talk to your doctor.”
“Each time I try, he prescribes yet more sedation.
Don’t drug me; I have crucial information
Signalled to me this morning from my source,
About earth’s future, nurse, including yours.”
” If you’d be kind enough to glance behind you,
You’ll see a queue of fourteen people waiting,
Distraught because their meds are overdue.”
“Let me awaken you to destiny.”
”Look, do I need to call security?”
“You’ve no cause for coercion;    here’s a vein,
Inside my elbow-just two remain
To be deflated.  Yes, nurse, make me numb,
Force all my insights to evaporate.
Once you have doped me with your opiate,
You can continue with your humdrum day,
With little need to think beyond your paycheque.”
 
I could have listened to him, some time later,
During my break; still, my back was aching.
It seems, each day, my hot flashes grow worse,
Or maybe just more frequent anyway.
 
I started here at twenty-three, naïve,
Bursting with zest, filled with ideals, believing,
I could battle, conquer, overcome,
Entrenched indifference, sloth, bureaucracy,
But then I married,   and we needed money
To buy a home, care for our coming baby.
Failing to finish my degree
In therapeutic work, I nursed instead,
Taking whatever jobs I could, which led
To work at night, helping the elderly
Stay in their homes, keep some autonomy,
While drudging in this hellhole, hoping later
To find some way to gain more education,
Decades passed.  Then, gutted by divorce,
Smothered by debt, seeing no recourse,
I’ve stayed with both jobs, though I’ve come to see
The futile struggle of this public clinic,
Becoming cynical against my will,
Aware that an injection or a pill
Are all I can provide to palliate
Life’s overwhelming sadness.  So, Today,
I heard my voice far-off, as from some stranger
Gaining compliance through intimidation.
So, when my shift is through, I’m thinking maybe,
I ought to find that man, urge him to tell me
The warning based upon his revelation.
Still, bitten by self-loathing, shame, remorse,
Come five o-clock, my working- day completed,
I’ll hope he is becalmed but faraway,
Safe in his ward, enjoying recreation,
Allowing me my sparse degree
Of peace, of freedom.

 


 
An Upstanding Man
By Louis Sawyer

 
I am one righteous, moral, upstanding man
Relaxing this Saturday, in mid-May,
Prepared, from my porch,
With pistol and torch
To Blow chipmunks, raccoons and possums to blazes.
I despise slime and slush;
All that do-gooding mush
Makes me sore enough to resort to profanity,
Which I won’t do,
Because, as I’ve told you,
I’m an upright, respectable clean-speaking man.
 
My wife shares my views; she’s my perfect companion.
Glad of her role,
With no further goal
Beyond serving as mate to an upstanding man.
So, when I come home late from nights with the Klan,
She makes me a meal to entice a gourmet
Then, having cleared its refuse away,
She is glad of the thanks of her gratified man.
 
I warned her once, as if it were banter,
While making sure she would hear it as true,
Should she ever prove fool enough to abandon
Her husband, our home, I would force her to pay
By hunting her down.  Then, having found her,
Would shoot her, like any she-wolf at bay.
For a moment, I wondered what she might say.
She was quiet some while, then half-nodded in answer,
Knowing never to rankle her right-thinking man.
 
I recall only once when she drove me to anger.
Coming home early, I went to our pantry,
To greet her, where I knew she would be
Preparing our dinner.  To my consternation,
Glancing down at the counter, I found a can
Labelled “rat poison”, next to the pan
Where she stood, stirring herbs into my rabbit stew.
Since she never eats meat, it seemed like a plan
Or could have, had I not known her soul   through and through.
Still, it struck me as odd that, when I demanded
Its cause, she turned red, paled, stammered, then said
That lately, having discovered some ants
In our cupboards, she had, by some fearsome mischance
Bought, then forgotten to store away,
The arsenic.  After that, seeing me frantic,
She caterwauled, bawled, begged for my understanding.
As I always forgive folks as quick as I can.
When our quarrel was through, I bore her no rancor.
Even so, right at that moment, I knew,
That to learn, she needed the scourge of my belt,
So that, next morning, seeing the welt,
She would think about how such follies are dealt with
By a moral, law-abiding, upstanding man.
 
Since then, I saunter in, on occasion,
To our kitchen, just to see
That things are kept clean, pristine, orderly.
Come to think of it, I’ve a mind to, today.
Having sat here some while, I am feeling a chill,
Coming so swift it could give me the willies,
Though no phantom can menace a sanctified man.
I might as well head inside anyway.
There is nothing to keep me here-wait, do I see
What looks like a meadowlark crossing my land?
I’m glad I still have my pistol at hand
To blast that winged bastard.

 
ANNIVERSARY POEM
By Colleen Swan

 
And if the bright wild bells of spring
No longer sing when you are by,
And I no longer turn to see
You watch me with an eye of wonder,
Still, we have found a depth through time
We could not know at our beginning,
And so the golden bells of summer
Sing of a softer sun to be. 

Published in the Wear Valley Mercury

  
Ballad of a Sunrise
By louis Sawyer

 
The reeds on the river stood, warm and still,
While the river lay restive and wild;
She watched her lover sail off through a mist,
While she studied the reeds near the river.
She saw his hands as they thrust the oars,
Recalled the strength of his tawny limbs;
She thought of his body and of those nights,
Those nights they had known by the river.
She made a bed of a few wild reeds,
Then wept, and writhed, and rose with a song-
For she bore his child on that sun-scarred bank,
And she gave his child to the river.



  
Frustration
By David Emerson

 
Bright strands wind eternally nowhere,
Ever perhapsing towards vacancy;
Only endings define themselves
.
 

 
To My Grandmother, recently widowed
By Helen Moss

 
Little, strong lady
Who gives of self and time unstintingly,
Treasures a poem I wrote at age eleven,
And wears a cross for her brother who was killed in a bygone war-
I would hug you to myself
As if my youth and urgency
Could keep all time eternally at bay,
Leaving you with us as you are this day,
Ever unchanging.

  
Desiree
By Colleen Swan

 
Desiree, Desiree,
Twirling, tripping in a cabaret,
Where men who cherish pristine wives
Go to gawp and leer
At Desiree in dance array,
Swirling skirts and tinkling trinkets,
Black and silver in a sad display.
 
Eddie plods in lumbering boots,
Up and down the darkening streets,
A solid, stolid labourer
He doggedly piles brick on brick each day,
Passing nights in waiting
For the haunting lights to fade,
Jostled by the raucous strangers
As they stumble, curse and sway.
Now and then a word, much- slurred and blurred
But heard and hurting,
Makes him flinch with pain
For Desiree, his Desiree.
When the last defiler slinks away
Eddie walks inside to find her
Drooping in her dancing dress,
Weary and sullen.
Softly he wraps her in his coat,
Then lifts her in his builder’s arms;
She taunts him with the feats of finer lovers,
While tenderly he wipes her rouge away.




Helpline  By Georgia Day
 
We sat and listened through the wintry darkness,
With January just outside,
And never enough heat inside
To warm our building or ourselves, past twilight,
Hearing despair, panic, anxiety,
From callers who were sad, sick, lost or lonely,
Till often in ourselves, old echoes woke
Allowing us to say with truth,
That we heard, listened, knew, and understood.
 
And then the letter came; it read
"My brother killed himself.  He's dead
Because you people would not give a hand,
Or try to understand him-thanks for nothing.”
 
Each of us thought, Could I have been the one
Who failed to speak that needed word of hope
Which might have urged him to survive till daybreak,
Then venture towards renewal-who could say?
 
Then, by degrees, we grew to see that blame
Or self-recrimination served no good,
And so, we stayed while winter eased towards April
Striving to offer courage where we could.



ZELDA Fitzgerald   By Georgia Day
 
Scott claimed all the material from our life together as his own,
Quoting in his books my letters, diaries. 
He had that right, I felt, being a writer
Whose work seemed destined to immortalize
Him, and, in all likelihood, myself thereby.
 
Still, for my part, I needed to create,
So, having loved dancing as a girl,
I began to learn ballet,
But, at twenty-seven, far too late,
In order to succeed, I must excel.
Panicked, I danced throughout whole days, then nights,
Dancing Swan Lake, its music part of me, my body aching,
Scott yelling, “For God’s sake, Zelda!”
Still dancing till they shut me in that cell they called a room,
With soft assurances of future cure:
“Mrs. Fitzgerald, we think we can make you well,
With your co-operation; will you help us?”
I nodded, smiled, forever doomed to be, Zelda, fine southern girl, judge’s
 daughter, bred to gentility,
Aware from my consuming inner hell
Whatever I might once have been, lay deadened. 
 
Then I was not pretty anymore;
They tried to keep me safe from mirrors, still, I knew,
Could feel the eczema inching across my face-
Far more than that, I was compelled to see
In Scott’s eyes, haunting memories
Of that elegant while dashing belle
Whom he had courted, wooed, then won,
Himself sun-god of a generation
Which had believed in him, as he and I
Had in ourselves and in each other,
Convinced we could dance, laugh, revel forever
In our glitter of make-believe.




The Dam Head*  by Amy Ekins

We sat on tartan.
Punch grew warm in rippled glass
set down on boulders.
Lime wedges popped in the heat,
zest bruised from thirsty squeezes.

Then glassy rocks hailed
at open spit shone windows.
When the sphere of light
reappeared in hazy yawns,
the lawn flexed up in green shards.

The clouds parted in
strips of gauze that patched the sky,
and calmed dropping ice.
We shook the blankets firmly
and carried on our picnic.

* Section of the River Wear which runs past West Mills playing fields in Bishop Auckland, Co. Durham


Dickens a Christmas Carol- Rewritten  by Jeffrey Essex 

Scrooge, waking after having been haunted 
Deciding it daft to be daunted,
Consigned each ghost
Straight back to its post,
Then continued to do what he wanted

THE MINOR POET by Dorothy Parker

His little trills and chirpings were his best.
No music like the nightingale’s was born within his breast;
But he, too, laid his breast upon a thorn.

HAPPY by Carrie Fairfax 
 
Mirrored in your eyes,
I feel loved and lovely,
Pulsing with reborn hope,
Happy.
Reading your emails, my spirit flies
From all I have known, 
To be where you are, reunited,
Happy. 
I will soar over oceans, mountains, through skies
To join you in the life we will shape
In strength and tenderness, 
Happy.

 
Copyright: Colleen Swan