Helga and the flying glass city

Chapter 1

   

The sky was billowing with purple smoke. “Newt’ll be arriving at my part of Germany soon, I can tell from the smoke- it’s gotten much thicker than it used to be.” It was true the smoke had gotten much thicker than it use to be; before it used to be nothing but a pitiful swirl of colour in the wind and now it was as thick as yesterdays old custard. “Just imagine it, the spectacular magical mastermind-Newt here in Thuringen. Surely someone of such calibre would be off to one of the more glamorous cities of culture like Rome, London or Paris-not Thuringen!” Helga Perkins thought. She was day dreaming about Newt by the window again; this seemed to happen more and more frequently lately and at the worst of times too. “Rome’s where all the prettiest and most elegant of witches (but not necessarily smartest) lie, I wonder why he doesn’t go there instead; there’s no glamorous witches in Thuringen just plain ordinary ones like myself. I guess he must have some faith here. More than me anyway I can’t wait to get out of here, it’s so dull there’s no surprises waiting for you or any kind of excitement creeping around the corner. Not like Newts city though; I bet that’s full of surprises. How marvellous it must be to work there!” Newts flying glass city contained approximately 8,000 people who all worked alongside him in the sky. Consequently interviews were supposedly really hard- it was, let’s say a popular choice, well it’s not everyday your working with a magician in the sky inside a glass city! Newt was a hard one too please too, he was very selective when it came to picking people for his interviews-he might pick 30 people from one city then again he might pick six it was just a matter of patience and hoping you’d get picked. When you got a job there (if you ever did) you would be put into one of two groups depending on your skill. There were those that worked on keeping the city in the sky and those that worked inside Newts castle. It was a massive commitment to work for Newt you had to give up your life to him and live in the city for the rest of your days. It wasn’t uncommon for the people who worked there to never see their hometowns or family again.

       

 Helga was certain she would get a job there. If Newts was close by so was her interview, the anticipation was driving her mad. Helga was a healer and in her eyes people always needed doctors so she was almost guaranteed a job- 8,000 people they must get sick at some point! Her shop ‘Helga’s Handcrafts’ was Germanys number one pharmacist for it’s time (1947) as it’s crafts could cure All sorts of pains and aches within and without. For that time the medical treatment there was very advanced-well it had to be it was witchcraft and the only thing the shop couldn’t cure was old age. And even then she was working on an anti ageing cream; literally anti ageing cream! Drifting off into another daydream Helga began to contemplate the beauty of the city and what it would be like to wake up in the beautiful place everyday. From what every one had told her when she had been growing up Helga gathered that Newts flying glass city was a sight to behold. “No blade of grass or rock was alike.” Her cousin Joe had told her when she was nine. “Magical and perfect in their own way. Indigo glass streams dotted with diamonds for froth were scattered over the place. The most talked about feature though were the mountains-tall crystals grown by Newt himself; each grain was a different shade of pink and purple and when the sun hit it, it shone like the sun. With 8,000 other employees you could never be lonely working there, but your only true companions; the ones that have time for you and listen are….the stars along with the sun and the moon and the clouds. Clouds are an enigma. Lost souls who have never found their true path. Floating aimlessly through the sky. Sad really, but they are very pleasurable; just lie down on the grass and gaze up at the clouds. Go on have a go… we’ll be waiting.

    

 It wasn’t as if Helga had never seen Newt before, on the contrary she had seen him on numerous occasions; she just didn’t know it yet. Only those that truly believed in their magic would ever get too see Newt or the city; to others he was just a fairytale, a myth, something from their childhood that should have been forgotten a long time ago.

   

 The smoke began to seep in sneakily through the window. “Oh no you don’t!” She shouted scornfully at the smoke. “Your from Newts city aren’t you; well your not going to upset my customers…even if most of them can’t see you now shoo!” The smoke stopped in mid air hesitated a moment as if it was questioning her authority and then decided to obey. It crept back through the window, then Helga slammed it shut determinedly, turning round with a determined smile on her face. “Well at least it woke me up from my yet another day dream about Newt and the city.” She thought cheerfully. “He must be pretty close if the smokes that thick, oh please give me a chance Newt. I can work in the city I’m hardworking and I feel confident…enough.” She thought almost as if in prayer. Well the hardworking bit was right; the shop was packed full of people all in a rush to be seen before anyone else. It was hectic, the walls began to groan; the spirit of the shop was not happy about this mayhem.

“Ssshh, please be quiet shop. It’s only a little bit longer till closing time.

“Well it better had be, my walls are old as it is they weren’t built for pressure like this and neither are you; your only sixteen we both need a good well earned rest.” It moaned back. Barney her scruffy yellow dog had scurried out from under a table and was scratching around at the floor maniacally, it looked up at Helga’s reproachful look and stopped bashfully-it knew this was against the rules.

“Having fun are we? Perhaps you’d like to bite some of my customers while your at it hmmm?”

“Yeah I would actually. How about this kid here can I bit him? Can I please…please? Maybe just a leg? Come on I’m so bored, let me bite him!” It yelped.

     “Excuse me miss I’m here for my mum’s headache charm.” A small bespectacled ginger freckle faced boy said, pulling at her skirt.

The dog began to act aggressive; passing the floor, growling, baring its teeth, but despite all its attempts it still seemed like an over excited dachshund. “Helga please you gotta let me misbehave it’s so boring around here. How about you let me rip the couch to bits you won’t miss it that much-will you?”

“Oh yes your mum’s Mrs. Jones isn’t she…another headache? Poor dear maybe I should go round and see her later.”

“I think she’d like that.” He said grinning. “Good doggie he cooed stroking the dog-the wrong way. “I’ll give you good! Let’s have it right here right now, I’ll clobber you!” The dog barked back aggressively.

 “Shut up dog!” She scolded pushing the dog back under the table with her left foot.

     

Suddenly she noticed his bag, the contents whatever they where were shuffling around on their own.

Raising an eyebrow at the boy Helga stretched out a long arm to have a look at what was inside the bag. Panicking the boy took one step back, tripped over an untied shoelace and the entire contents of his bag fell out…six green dragon eggs. Dragon’s eggs were incredibly rare and were worth a lot of money. It was chaos, everyone went wild all trying too grab an egg at the same time. Helga was quicker than them. Whipping out a pair of what looked like scaled oven gloves she retrieved the eggs and slipped them back into his bag.

“Right everyone out, were closed.” She shouted over the rabble.

“What a bout my dragons eggs?” The boy cried over the moans of several shuffling bodies.

“I’ll see your mother about them, I’m sure she mustn’t approve.”

 “Just kidding. ” She said handing him back the bag. “I just couldn’t resist seeing the look on your face here you go kid just don’t bring them to the shop okay, my dog wont like them!” She turned back to the counter.  “Yeah now sling yer hook, I’m hungry if yeh don’t get out of here in five seconds I’ll eat you…and your dragon eggs” The dog barked in agreement. Nobody paid any attention too him “Aha here!” She called passing him a small paper bag. “Will work on the most persistent and stubborn of headaches- guaranteed.” She said handing him a brown lumpy package.

“There’s something for yourself inside. Have a look.” The boy opened the bag looking at her suspiciously and turned his look to the bag. His face lit up with delight.

“Wow bully bangers! Yeah cool, are these the ones that cause spontaneous combustion?”  “Cause. Thanks miss!” He cried stepping on his toes trying to kiss her cheek. She smiled and kneeled down, he kissed her cheek, turned and ran.

“Bye miss and thanks again.”

Helga waved through the shop door smiling. She had ended her day with a good deed and it and stopped her worrying about Newt…well for the time being that is!

    

 Days like this were quite tiresome for Helga. “The number of hypochondriacs I get in here” She thought closing the curtains. “Well it has its ups.” She said smiling at the very full till. “All one thousand Marks of it!” She shouted waving the money high above her head for no one to see.

“That kid who does he think he is? If I didn’t have such a gentle heart I would have eaten him by now!”

“Sure you would of you’re the most ferocious and scariest dachshund of them all.” She said reassuringly rubbing his belly. The dog began to wag his tail happily and began to sing.

“One way or another I’m gonna eat yeh I’m gonna eat yeh eat yeh eat yeh!”

“Good profit tonight eh?” The house yawned ignoring the dog; he didn’t like it much it was far too vulgar and crude for the likes of the shop to talk too, thank god Helga put him out at night or there would be havoc and not just by the dog! It was late, looking up at the moon she could see that it had to be around nine o’clock. She had to be up at dawn tomorrow to get supplies from the Forrest for the shop, so a well earned early night was needed.

“You bet.” She replied happily.

“Good! Then maybe you can finally get my roof fixed like you promised two weeks ago! Remember.”

“Don’t worry I’ll have it fixed by next week, now be a dear and run me a bath will you? I wont have time tomorrow; oh please shop…please!”

“Oh alright! The things us building spirits do for you humans. Be quick then. I want to get some sleep tonight and make sure you get my roof fixed. I’m an all powerful spirit you know, I can curse you without a thought. Ah here’s a curse for you-may it forever rain on your head!

“Goodnight Shop.” She was tired and didn’t want to argue. Plodding off up the old rickety stairs she yawned-eyes barely staying open. That hot bath seemed very welcoming; a cup of coa coa and she would be in heaven.

“Goodnight.” It called after her. The old shop wasn’t one for arguing either it just wore him out! It was a beautiful night and Helga didn’t want to miss it. “Just the night for sleeping under the stars.” She thought dreamily pulling on an old stained dressing gown. Without much thought she uttered a quick little incantation and the roof began to melt away to show the big black duvet sky, studded with hundreds of tiny luminous candles. She began to count the candles systematically pulling each one out of the sky with her tiny fingers, but everytime she tried to catch them they just slipped out of her hands. Some people had counting sheep and Helga had her star ritual. Helga fell asleep quickly with a smile on her face; smiling at her own childishness.

     

 By the time the sun had peeked it’s cheery head over the hill Helga had already gotten washed and dressed and downed a bowl of musli in one go. “Awful stuff!” She choked through a well needed glass of water. “Well at least it’s cheap. There is something good about. Anything that doesn’t make you wretch that is!” She thought optimistically. Helga ran downstairs and slipped on a pair of wellingtons along with a red mackintosh that was at least two sizes too big. Helga opened the door and was met by a cloaked character, their face was hidden under a long green hood. “Strange!” She thought. “All my usual’s know I don’t open for hours yet. Must be new around here. It’s always hard too fit in, I’ll try to make them as welcome as I can.”

“Hello there. I see you’re new here. Well erm… the shop isn’t actually open yet I’ve got to go and get some supplies as a matter of fact, but your welcome to wait inside. Don’t stay out in the cold…come in, I’ll put on the kettle; you can tell me about your journey…or not whatever takes your fancy.” She said as if it was written out on a piece of paper lay in front of her. The stranger said nothing, but came inside anyway.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Helga offered kindly. The stranger shook their head not uttering a word. “Erm I have to go now or she… I mean it oh I’ve said too much, I must go now anyway…Goodbye!” The stranger raised one hand in farewell and shut the door on Helga before she could get a chance too utter another word. Considering the person’s lack of co-operation Helga thought she had been very hospitable, but stopped soon remembering that if she didn’t hurry up it would be gone. The very rare very secret missing ingredient for her new anti depression drink…Unicorn tears-very pricey option, but very effective.

     

 Unicorns were timid, sensitive, shy creatures-it was easy to make them cry, however it was extremely hard too get the right timing; they only came out at dawn.

Luck was instore there was one over by a pitifully small stream drinking. It seemed mean to disturb it, but it was big; the bigger it was the bigger it’s tears would be and the bigger the profit for the depression cures.  Sneaking up behind the unicorn Helga pulled out of the air one small pair of tweezers and one crystal blue vial. Delicately she plucked one hair from it’s main which made it shed one single tear. Helga caught it in the vial and as it splattered at the bottom of the vial a loud noise wafted a long the breeze like tinkling bells. The unicorn turned around and gave her a melancholy look before darting off into the woods. “Thankyou!” Helga called after it, but it was too late; the magical horse had already vanished into a mass of bramble and crusty leaves. Not too be seen until the next dawn. “This’ll be plenty!” She thought pleased with the catch, it had been a big unicorn after all. “I wonder how the old woman’s doing back at home, well I think she was a woman I couldn’t really tell. She was pretty well hidden under that big hood!”

       

She was on her way back to shop when a rather strange thing happened. Newt had appeared out of seemingly nowhere! Newt was very handsome tall and pale with twinkling green eyes like emeralds and he had the same long jet black locks that Helga had dreamed of time and time again. He wore a low cut neck red gypsy shirt with (what was very advanced and new for the time) black drainpipe jeans and Italian leather boots. He shone in the light, perhaps it was the amount of jewellery he was wearing; all looking like they were made out of gold or rubies. He had at least eight necklaces all different sizes, lengths and colours; three rings on each different finger. These were very strange, each one contained a tiny picture inside them, one of the rings was shaped like a large oval red eye and everytime his hand moved the eye blinked. Helga laughed. It had been a long time she had seen a man so benevolently obsessed with their appearance before. “He looks about my age but he can’t be, he’s always played a very important role in my childhood just like Father Christmas or the Easter bunny. He must be a lot older than me, but still he looks like a sixteen year old boy. I wonder what kind of anti ageing cream he’s using and if so what the secret is! My customers would pay hundreds for it!” She thought. 

“Well hello there Helga.” He said. His voice was smooth like hazelnut whips deep and suave, still it was kind and warm and also somewhat comforting. “Come and walk with me for a while; I think you and I need to have a little chat.”

     

The two linked arms and began to walk through the forest. It was getting lighter now; all the birds were out chattering away to one and anover. Two squirrels were sword fighting! “Wait a minute that can’t be right-squirrels sword fighting! That’s just wrong.” Helga shouted. “What’s happened to the forest?”

“Easy tiger it’s just an argument that’s all.” Newt whispered back calmly.

“What with swords? You must be joking.”She shouted back. “You two, I don’t know what’s happened or why I’m talking to a pair of squirrels, but cut that out o.k?”

One of the squirrels turned around. It looked annoyed; well it looked as annoyed as a small fluffy animal could get really.

“Hey lady I don’t bug you when your practising fencing, so don’t bug me!” It answered gruffly.

“The, the, the squirrel it talked.” She whispered to Newt clutching his arm tighter.

“Yes it did” He answered as if it was perfectly normal for a squirrel to talk.

“Well it shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“It just shouldn’t!”

“Hey Davie boy how’s that curse of yours going?” He called up to squirrel.

“Shut yeh mouth kid or I’ll shut it for yeh.” He spat back angrily.

“Hey it’s not my fault you got caught up in one of my scraps now is it. Should of just left me to it but oh no, you wanted a piece of the action. Now here’s the consequences”

“What being a squirrel?” Helga asked rather surprised that her possible employer was talking to a squirrel.

“Yeah.”Newt answered laughing

“Yeh think your smart don’t you. Just cos you’re a pretty boy doesn’t mean you can boss me around mister smarmy teenager!”

“Nice to see you too Dave.” Newt shouted back smugly. The two walked on for a while talking about the castle.

“And is it true that the city’s made of glass?” Helga asked Newt, getting more excited by every word he spoke.

“What do you think?” He asked smirking.

“I don’t know I’m only a healer!”

“Known across the whole of Germany! Yes the castle is made out of glass except the mountains their crystals.

“Did you grow them yourself?”

“No my son did.” Helga looked at him surprised and then remembered that he was much older than she was even if he didn’t look it.

“I’m kidding! Yeah I did grow the mountains.” Helga still seemed a bit uneasy. “Did Newt have a son? If so how old was he? If he was a teenager then did he look the same age as his dad?” She thought. There were still a few things she didn’t know about him yet.

     

Newt smirked, he liked playing games with his prey; he’d stop being cruel when they got to the castle. He knew she was nervous and frantic, but he couldn’t resist making her wonder a little bit longer. It was the same with every witch that came to the city. He was arrogant and smug, he’d put her mind at rest when they got there, but at the moment he was having too much fun watching her go mad with anticipation. And then he started to run, Helga at his heel; they just kept running and running towards a tree. “Hold on this is going to be a bumpy ride!” Newt yelled just before….

      

The bark began to melt away and the branches curled round the sides to reveal a long dark passageway. They leapt in. Newts dainty feet barely got inside before the branches swung back and bark began to grow back into place-the passageway had closed up. It was complete darkness, nothing but blackness-everywhere. She shut her eyes; they were closed quite tightly. She wasn’t exactly fond of the dark and I suppose shutting her eyes wouldn’t help much at all, but strangely enough it did make her feel somewhat better.

“Open your eyes you big scaredy cat!” Newt said laughing. “Can you see them now?”

“See what? Oh!” The place was swamped with gems all different colours and sizes shimmering, shining splendidly in the darkness lighting up the whole inside of the tree.

“Newt they’re beautiful!” She gasped, but she was cut off. The tree had rocked rather viscously to one side making her loose her balance and fall into Newt who caught her by one arm.

“Thanks, but I can manage by myself! I need no man too come and sweep me off my feet!” She said frustratedly brushing some dust and soot off her dress.

“Well I told you it would be a bumpy ride, here hold onto this.” He replied. He began to wave his arms majestically over his head and started making pulling motions; a root began to sprout out of one of the walls of the tree and he handed it to her smiling.

“I suppose I should be grateful!” She said grudgingly taking the root from him.

“ Nah. Not many people are why should you be any different.” He said cooly

     

Helga couldn’t see it but the tree had pulled its roots out of the soil and was now jumping up and down frantically.

“Well he had said it would be a bumpy ride.” She thought clinging onto the root for dear life. The tree made one final bound and leapt into the air, it roots began to beat at the air - swimming like a jellyfish really. It would have been very funny to watch unless you were someone who was practical then you’d just insist you’d had a bad day and needed a lie down! But to anyone with any kind of imagination you’d know perfectly well that this tree was a magicians porthole taking the magician and their new apprentice to their castle-and in this case it was in the sky!

   

 Newt began to comb his hair incessantly, pulling away at every strand; examining every piece of hair on his head. He was a little bit obsessed with his looks- everything had to be just perfect! Then he pulled out a mirror examining his teeth and eye’s from every possible angle. “Vanity’s what makes the man!” She thought reproachfully. Helga wasn’t too keen on those obsessed on what they look like. All those years of female witches (and occasionally male one’s too) following him around telling him how gorgeous he was, sending him male and generally treating him like a god hadn’t paid off; he had become self obsessed and pig headed over the years and it was starting to show.

“Aaaah!” He moaned exasperatedly.

“What is it?”

“I can feel an eyebrow going wrong! Be a dear and grab a razor for me. There should be a load in my pocket-just dig around, see what you can find.”

“First of all I’m not your dear and it’s your pocket why don’t you find one yourself!” She shot back angrily.

“I cant I’m too busy…looking at myself.” He shouted back laughing.

“Well you shouldn’t it’s vain and shallow. I never bothered with my looks and I’m just fine!” She said lecturing him. Then just to prove a point she made the biggest false smile ever showing of all her crooked teeth.

“You know you don’t have too be so tough all of the time.” He said quietly pulling a razor out from his pocket. “You’ll never have to fight for anything again.”

“What do you mea…Aaaargh!” She had been cut off; something very disgusting had just happened and it had taken her rather by surprise.

      

Newt had just cut his misshapen eyebrow off - skin, hair and flesh all except the bone.

“Now…” He sang cheerily. “What do we have here?” With his left hand he began to pull what looked like a small, bronze cylinder tin out of the corner of his eye and was now unscrewing the lid. “Just a smidgen; that’s what went wrong with it last time, I used too much and it went all bushy!” Newt took a pinch of some of the turquoise coloured powder inside and began to sprinkle it evenly over his brow bone; the skin began to grow back and hair began to sprout in an even perfect line.

“Did you do what I just saw you do-that’s really rather disgusting!” She asked revoltedly.

“Yeah. It’s a great party trick too. The duchess of Venus love’s it; she loved a few other things too, but that’s a couple of secrets that should stay clear away from polite conversation.” He replied smiling. “Anyway as your such a noticeable girl who sticks to her gums I’m prepared to give you a chance. You’ve got the job. Your quite feisty and you don’t take stick from anyone-were more alike than you think.” He announced in a much kinder more brotherly tone.

Newt took one step towards her and bowed graciously.

“This is my stop the city-I think you’ll really like it when you come to work here.”

“I think I will too, but wait where are you going; you cant just leave me….inside this tree! Can’t I come and see the city now.” She pleaded.

“Another time my friend, but for now just be patient.” Newt let go of her hands and put one arm around her waist instead. Leading her to one of the tree’s walls, Helga began to wonder what lay ahead for her now. Whatever she expected it wasn’t what did happen!

      

The bark began to melt away again just as it had done when she had entered the tree except this time as she was just about to step out she noticed something slightly different. There was no earthy forest floor awaiting her-instead there was nothing but sky; she couldn’t even see the earth they were so high up! It was beautiful with all the floating clouds and a magnificent flamboyant rainbow painted playfully in the sky, but still it was pretty terrifying.

“Newt what are you playing at!” She screeched-she wasn’t a fan of heights as well as the dark.

“Oh you do like to moan don’t you?” Newt sighed wearily. “Just close your eye’s an don’t open them until I say okay?”

He clutched her waist tighter and took a few dainty steps back before…

“Newt no! I don’t like the sound of that what are you going to doooo!

But it was too late Newt had already taken a run at the now open gap and had leapt out into the sky clinging onto the now struggling squirming Helga. They were tumbling-it wasn’t a very pleasant sensation. Helga’s heart had jumped up into her mouth and was ticking away like a time bomb and as for her stomach well it felt like it was still up in the tree somewhere!

“Stop squirming! You’ll make me drop you.” Newt told her sternly.

“It feels like you already have. Anyway I can’t help it things are frightening when you can’t see what’s going on!” She shrieked back.

“Oh alright then, have a look.”

She opened her eyes slightly and peeked at the horror that lay ahead. She screamed.

“See this is why I thought it best if you didn’t look-anyway that’s not the worst part I’ll have to leave you now. Get ready. One…two…”

“Wait what!” She shouted.

“Three! Bye Helga. We’ll meet again real soon-I promise.”

And with that he vanished and she was left tumbling through the sky and the howling wind.

      

 It seemed like hours and she was still tumbling when all of a sudden she stopped; stopped in mid air! Helga stood still for a few minutes to catch her breath back; heart pounding a mile a minute. Slowly she began to crouch down and feel whatever was presumably underneath her feet. Glass. That’s what it was-glass steps!

“Newt you sly old dog you” She thought happily picturing her cheeky friend’s face if he could see her now. She stood up boldly and began to laugh. She laughed really hard and loud above the wind so the whole world could hear her. It felt good. She began to run down the steps; racing against the wind to see who could get to the ground first, still laughing all the way down. Laughing all they way; laughing even when she reached the ground and still laughing when she fell exhausted in a pile of old crusty leaves where she fell asleep to the sound of her own laughter.

Chapter 2-In which there is an awful lot of scolding

   

 Helga opened her eyes and sat up in bed. It had all been a dream, well it must have been she couldn’t remember anything after jumping out of that tree. “I wonder if there really is a sword fighting squirrel…called Dave in the forest” She thought absent- mindedly. “Well good morning sleepy head I thought you’d never wake up, what after happened last night!” The shop yawned exasperatedly.

“Great your up I was worried about you. I’m starving what’s for breakfast?” The dog asked jumping up and down on the bed frantically.

“Sorry he dug his way into the house last night- he was up all of last night playing poker with a few friends of his. “What? What are you talking about-what happened last night?” She asked anxiously.

“Lucky thing that nice stranger was here-I don’t know what I’d do with out that old lady.”

“Oh my god I’m so hungry! I think I’ll have to eat my own tail!” The dog shouted astoundingly biting at his tail insanely.

“Wait! Shop, what happened last night?”

“How she managed to carry you up those stairs I’ll never know-she seemed about ninety!” It carried on.

“SHOP!” She yelled. “What happened last night?”

“You don’t think I’ll die-from the hunger?” The dog asked worryingly now running around in little circles.

“No need to shout dear I’m not deaf! Although I will be at this rate with you shouting about. At my age too and what with my broken roof an all…”

“Oh shop!” She whined.

“Oh alright. You were talking to this cloaked stranger-new around here; didn’t know the area very well and you were just about to leave to get some supplies when suddenly, well I don’t know. You went berserk; frantically looking for something- you didn’t say what and then you just fainted. I don’t know what I’d of done if she hadn’t of been here.”

“Well were is she? I need to thank her.”

“Erm she sort of left this morning. Told me you’d be coming round today and just… went!”

“Oh shop!”

   

  “Well what could I have done? Lock her in against her own free will?” It shouted back frustratedly.

“Yes! Oh I’m sorry, and I’m sorry for yelling too, but I really need to see her. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.” She said kindly. “Dog you wont die your just being melodramatic” She added seeing the dog lying on its back paws in the air, but still wagging it’s tail frantically.

“And you won’t be.” The tree continued.

“Yes but I’ll feel it. Inside I will. I’ve got to find her shop, please; please help me.

“I cant. Wait where are you going?”

Helga had jumped out of bed slipped on an old pair of boots and dressing gown and was headed towards the stairs.

“Wait…you  cant go down there!” The shop yelled after her.

“Yeah what about my breakfast” The dog called impatiently.

“Why ever not” She retorted smugly.

“I don’t know you just cant.” It said stubbornly as if that was final. She began to walk down the stairs.

“No. Wait, hang on a minute. Um…look what I can do!” It shouted back desperately. She turned around knowingly sighing as she did so and burst out laughing at an ultimately ridiculous sight.

“Yeah! Look at that.” It yelled triumphantly.

“The shop had turned itself into a sort of puppet; its roof opened and closed like a mouth and the shutters blinked like eye’s. Such a sight amazed the local kids and they began to shriek with delight. It seemed the house was trying to do stand up comedy-very unsuccessfully.

“Hey there where are you from?” It called over to a passing old lady.

“Aaaargh demon shop!” She screamed dropping her bags and running away as fast as her seventy year old legs could carry her. Not very fast at all really.

“Oh dear.” It sighed wearily. “Please don’t call the cops again!”

   

 Good he was distracted, that gave her some time to sneak downstairs and see what he was hiding. It wasn’t a surprise party. The room looked like a bomb had hit it. There were ripped books and quills tipped up all over the floor; ink stains all over the table and workplaces and an empty silver birdcage lay overturned were once a very proud mocking bird had stood. The bird to its utmost delight had managed to escape and was now flying incoherently around a near light bulb. But alas it had grown tired of this pleasure and had now found a new game-see how many fairies you can throw out of a jar at once game! “No no no you bonehead! Don’t throw them that’s the dogs breakfast!” She shouted at the bird flapping her arms about trying to shoo the bird away from the precious jars.

  

 Now it may seem very cruel to feed cutsie-pie little fairies to a mangy mutt, but these were no ordinary fairies; these were English fairies. English fairies were much more dangerous to the normal German ones and twice as pesky. Their usual prey was naïve little girls and boys transfixed by these new glowing seemingly friendly little playmates. When the children or any over poor victims were at a state were they were completely immobilised by the fairies eerie glow they would quick as a shot run up your noes, open mouth or ears and lay their eggs inside of you. A standard fairy could lay up to 100 eggs a day, so there had been a few very nasty infestations in the past. However English fairies were very vulnerable and could be lured out of their victim very very easily-preferably with something shiny and silver or failing that some old folk music. Fairies love music! At desperate times people had been known to lure their pixies infestations out with food, the most effective of this was crumpets and tea-well they were English Fairies after all.

   

One of the fairies caught Helga’s eye and blew a raspberry her way making it turn a shade of magenta (Fairies liked to turn different colours as it confused people and there was nothing else more in the world that Fairies like to do other than confuse people) , they were all different colours some were blue, some were green, some were black and some were orange and others were multi coloured and striped; the colour depended entirely on what their mood was. Helga noticed a couple at the bag they were bright red and giggling. “Aww they’re in love how sweet.” She thought to herself envyingly. But the sweetness was gone in a flash, the dog had smelt the fairies from upstairs and had come pelting down the stairs like a rocket. With his tiny little legs he had leapt incredibly high into the air and caught the pixies in his mouth in one go; swallowing them in one before he landed triumphantly on the floor a single silver wing hanging from his drooling jaw.

“Mmmm…” He sung licking his lips happily, “Tastes like old chicken-really old chicken that’s been left in the sun!”

“Gross dog” She laughed following him downstairs. “Dog! Did you and your mates drink too much lemonade last night and have a rat race!”  The dog did this quite frequently that’s why he wasn’t allowed in the house, but he had never caused this much trouble before.          How could he? All he did was put long tubes across the floor and bet fairies on which rat would come out first. He would then eat the rats later-he’d eat anything!

“No! It’s not just gross it’s disgusting, vile and irresponsible too! But anyway…” He added quickly seeing the disapproving look on her face “None of my friends could turn up for the rat race last night, so it wasn’t me. Poor innocent little Barney here didn’t do anything.” He pined tail between legs big round eyes shining in the sunlight.

“Don’t act cute with me dog; I still don’t trust you!” She replied knowingly scratching his ears.

    

 It was a hard and long job cleaning up the shop and the dog trapsing in and out every five minutes, rolling in ink and ripping up books didn’t help in the slightest bit.

“Oh dog! I just mopped the floor! Look if you’re bored why don’t you go outside and playing with your cat friends?” She sighed exasperatedly.

“They are not my friends! I hate them. Hate them hate them hate them!” It scoffed back.

“Oh yes and hanging them out of the bedroom window is really going to make things better is it?” She commented coldly.

“It might, for me anyway. But they started it, they made fun of my ankles-saying that I didn’t have any!”

“Well I’m sure you can take a bit of teasing you big lump. Now go on out you go. Shoo!” She replied whisking him out of the door with a dust broom.

“Wait Helga, wait!” It howled scratching at the door. “There’s an important and urgent question I have that needs to be answered now!”

“I apologise dog what is your question?” She asked calmly and patiently reopening the door.

“What time’s dinner…” The dog yelled back, but it was cut off by a slammed door and an unanswered question.

      

 It was around midday before Helga got into town and at this time of day the place was swarming with all kinds of people. Their were old hags who didn’t have anything else to do; little red goblins selling dodgy spells and charms from the black market to the trusting tourists and just normal local people who had come to take their pet dragons out for a stroll down the busy high street.

“Hey you there lady! You want to buy an invisibility charm, no side effects apart from a slight burning in the eyes.” A short hairy Goblin called at her in a strong thick Russian accent. It had jumped straight in front of her and was now trying to sell her illegal spells.

“Sorry sir, but I know for a fact that those don’t work as I am a witch myself now if you don’t mind stepping out of my way I’ve got a busy day ahead of me. I’ve got a big order of fire spitting snails coming and I can’t be late for that!” She told him sternly pushing away the glowing blue charm that he had just shoved at her face. Embarrassed the little Goblin bashfully stepped out of her way and ran of to the nearest bush, which immediately revealed itself as a porthole to the Goblin underground world. He dived in head first his long yellow beard flying high in the wind as he descended down what seemed to be a man made chute. Helga began to feel guilty, she’d made it feel bad about itself and it wasn’t like it wanted to sell that stuff. There weren’t many jobs for goblins; they either worked on lousy stores selling dodgy spells or took up a live of crime either way the future was bleak!

     

Feeling bad about herself Helga decided to spend the rest of her day doing good deeds and there was a great opportunity straight ahead-an old woman struggling to get across the road. Instantly Helga rushed up towards the bedraggled old hag and took her heavy bulging bags off her-it was a mistake.

“No stop! Don’t touch those they’ll rip!” She yelled at Helga. The woman began to desperately reach for the bags but Helga had a height advantage.

“Don’t worry I wont let it rip….” Helga said reassuringly.  The seem split and the whole bag ripped in two. Helga suddenly realised what the bulging had been; a million and one tiny fireflies burst out of the bag and made their way for freedom-higher and higher they went up untill they disappeared in the sky.

      

“Oh no!” The old woman squealed jumping up and down and stamping her feet. “Why did you have to come and intervene? Those bugs only stay still for me, anyone else and they go mad and the bag splits. Ohhh. Newt’ll be so angry-my first bit of undercover work and I mess it up, the city will have no light tonight, I’m going to be shuffling coal in the dark! Do you have any idea how hard that is?” She looked Helga straight in the eye. It was the first time she had noticed them-they were bright yellow and had tiny black slits like cat eyes. Surely it mustn’t be normal for an old woman to have cat eyes!

“Oh drat! The disguise is wearing of. Do you know how hard my job is? Creeping down and collecting all these animals without anyone noticing. You don’t notice anything though do you? You humans-you wouldn’t know if your whole world was turned upside down!” She spat back at Helga angrily.

 “Oh so that’s why there isn’t many fireflies around?” She said surprised and then remembering what the old hag had she began to ask… “So you work for Newt, what’s it like?”

“Hard work kid, but I doubt you’ll be doing any of it! I don’t know what he sees in you, but I know one thing.”

“Oh what’s that?”

“You’d better keep yourself to yourself! If you get a job here you’re going to have to keep your nose out of other peoples business- me especially!” She shot back coldly.

     

 With one playful bound the Old hag rose high up into sky; pirouetted and revealed her true form. It was none other than a jester! His face was checked black and white and he wore a flamboyant orange and red outfit.

“Now look what you’ve made me do! Oh this is bad very bad I can’t be seen on the human world like this, oh no no no no no! I have to go, but here my words; I will make it my number one priority to see that a nosy interfering intervening wench like you never works for Newt or any other magician ever!” He screamed like a banshee.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” He cackled evilly. And with a click of his ankles and a swish of his neck the jester was gone.

“Well he’s rude! I wonder if the shop could be set up as a reform school-Thuringen needs to be taught a few manners!” She thought to herself. A little upset from what the jester had said she decided to give shopping a miss. Was she really that interfering and intervening? At least the people at home appreciated her; well they did when there was food on their plate. 

    

When she arrived back at the house she was met by a frantic Barney running towards her barking madly and diving into her conveniently empty hands.

“Well it looks like someone’s glad to see me!” She announced, receiving a manic face licking; usually this would be frowned upon but what with the latter mentioned incident Helga was glad to get any kind of affection.

“Please Helga please call her off! I promise I’ll never eat your slippers again or bite you or chew the furniture, just call her off please-I’m beggin’ yeh!” The dog whined covering its ears with its paws. “She just never shuts up!”

“What are you going on about?” She asked half heartedly; hoping that the dog had just got mixed up with dreams and reality again.

Chapter 3-In which an unwanted visitor arrives

 

“Where is that daughter of mine? I swear she must never do any work around here the lazy loafer! And you what kind of building spirit are you? I bet you’re not even fireproof!” Shouted the voice of a tall, bossy woman, Mrs. Perkins to be exact-Helga’s mother.

“I don’t know Madame, but I wouldn’t advise you try it!” The shop answered wearily trying to stay calm.

Well the little shrew better turn up soon… Honestly I don’t know why I bother; I might as well leave with all the gratitude I get from her!”

“Why don’t you then?” The shop whispered contemptfully.

“What did you say?” The woman asked shrilly.

From past experiences Helga had learnt that this was her queue to step in. Taking a deep breath before she entered Helga prepared herself for the amount of disapproving tuts that lay ahead for her. She walked bravely through the door and tried to be as pleasant to one of the most difficult people ever!

“Hello mother. What a pleasant surprise!” She said through clenched teeth.

        

Barney very awkwardly was volunteered to take Helga’s mother’s bags upstairs. But growled and moaned all the way up their and back.

“Don’t you even think of biting a whole through that bag you mangy mut!” She called after him whacking a surprisingly heavy handbag over his head. The dog yelped and ran up the stairs as fast as his tiny little legs could carry him. Helga sighed.

“Oh darling darling!” The woman shrieked rushing over towards Helga, kissing her tenderly on each cheek. “Let me just look at you!” She took hold of her face and stared at her pityingly through soft hazelnut eyes.

“I’ve arrived not a moment too soon. Don’t worry honey no daughter of mine will grow to be some tired old shrew-oh you really should have taken better care of your teeth dear-they’re a wreck! No wonder no one believes me when I say I’m your mother; at this state you look like mine! You need to try and care a little more of your appearance dear’ you must have some spare time your job isn’t that hard!” These words sounded harsh but were very true. Helga’s mother was very beautiful-a special kind of beauty that does not come from a painted doll’s face. She was naturally beautiful. Her face glowed a healthy colour and she was blessed with cute freckles (sun kisses as she called them) which made her look not much older than Helga herself. Her soft brown eyes anxiously now watching her daughter matched perfectly with her silky brown ringlets.

    

But unlike her mother Helga worked hard everyday, most of it was hard manual work. People underestimated the intensity of healers they weren’t sat in a comfy chair bent over a new quaint spell or charm; most of their work was going off to far off places, doing a lot of to and throwing; lifting and carrying heavy loads, long hours searching for strange new creatures- it was hard work!

“But don’t despair Helga honey I’ve married again and this one’s very very rich; his name’s Vincent and you can come and live with us. A few weeks with me and I’ll make you look like a goddess, a recipe for an instant bride. Don’t worry sweetie we’ll have you married of to some wealthy man and then you’ll never have to work in this tacky little shop again! I’m so sorry Helga. For letting you come to this-I’m a useless mother.” Helga’s mother said sadly.

“Now that’s not true. I chose to leave so I could have independence for once; it had nothing to do with you. Besides I like working here. It just gets a little dull sometimes.”

“You need a husband.” Her mother replied decidedly. “It’s not right for a girl your age to be working by herself. Now there’s a boy down the street about your age- the blacksmiths son. He’s perfect already knows a trade, he’s reliable and dependable and also he has a wealthy background. You’ll be set for life.

    

“Oh now mother…” She said, now slightly annoyed. “I’m fine. I’m only sixteen; I do not require a husband yet-if at all! And if I do choose to marry I hope my suitor will only love me- not the outer me.”

“It is not that I don’t appreciate your gestures mother.” She added seeing the saddened look on her face. “But you see the thing is I don’t wish to marry and I daresay I ever will. There is something else I wish to do first and that will probably take a whole lifetime.”

“What’s that then?” She asked enquiringly.

“Work in Newt’s flying glass city.” Helga answered dreamily.

“If you work there I’ll probably never see you again.” She said mournfully.

“You probably won’t.” Helga replied truthfully.

“Well if you won’t come and stay with me then…I’ll have to come and stay with you.” She said decisively.

Helga beamed triumphantly. “I would love nothing more she said embracing her mother warmly.

“I wouldn’t!” The dog barked down the stairs.

Her mother laughed. “Come here boy. You know I can be nice really.” She called after him. And that’s when the dog realised what was in the bag.  It was a whole leg of lamb. She threw it down on the floor carelessly.

“Sweet mama, call me Julie and paint the town red! Is that for me?” The dog asked excitedly.

“Well I could always send it to the nearest cat’s home.” She said teasingly.

“No!” He screamed pouncing on the meat. “This is all mine no one else is getting any.”

“I think you just made a friend.” Helga said laughing.

     

 By the time Helga and her mother had finished talking the dog had ripped the meat to shreds and was now gnarling crazily at the bone. Saliva creeping slyly down his chin and splashing on the floor.

“Out Barney! If you’re going to be disgusting then go outside and take your bone with you.” Helga shouted throwing the bone outside into the yard.

“Noooooo! My bone!” The dog screamed running out into the yard.

“Well I’ll have someone come and bring my stuff over later, but I’d rather go and get a few of my own things now to make the place a bit more homey.” Her mother said interrupting the dogs outburst.

“Homey?” Helga muttered.

“Yes homey. Just a few things: potpourri, curtains, my hat box and a few other little things like that.”

“Yes but why do you need that stuff; the place is already homey enough as it is.”

“My dear.” She started reproachfully. “Look around, your walls are so old and worn they creak in the wind, you are seemingly obsessed with astrology posters, you have peppers and garlics hanging from your ceiling, your counter is scattered with German fairytales. The shelves are covered with strange pickled and dried plants and animals, strange instruments that look like torture devises line your walls. And there seems to be a tiny ship in a glass bottle with even tinnier people on the ship, they’re waving to me!”

“Yeah they like it when they seem someone new-they’re just bottled dreams, that’s all.” Helga replied reassuringly.

“That may be, but my god this place gives me the creeps. You have shrunken heads in the corner for pitys sake.”

“Oh them. Well they’re really rather charming once you get to know them a little better.”

“And there seems to be what looks like massive cat’s eyes in the left wall.” She continued. The eyes shone bright blue and the dark slits rolled as she mentioned them.

“Oh the twins… well they’re just adorable don’t you think?”

“No they’re just plain creepy.” She said backing away slowly.

 

Mrs. Perkins had made it perfectly clear to Helga that in order for her to stay there Helga would have to let her help out and she did; the place had never been cleaner, there were meals on the table for once and the atmosphere just seemed generally friendlier.

“You know.” Mrs. Perkins began thoughtfully. “I never did ask you of your name.” She said to the shop spirit. The shop began to sway slightly trying to remember it. “You know.” He answered surprisingly. “I can’t remember. I guess I didn’t really need it like you people do.”

“That’s too bad.” She replied sadly. “Everyone should have a name; it doesn’t seem right not to.”

“Then I guess I’m not right.” He answered simply.

“Of course you are. And you shall have a name; something sophisticated and very grand, something that suits you. How about Hans- that’s not bad. Short and sweet.”

“Yes I like it. Hans.” He seems like a decent gentleman and he’s the best writer Scandinavia’s ever produced. Yes that shall be my new name.”

Hans was benevolently happy with his new name, and it seemed to Helga that he was a lot happier with her mother for choosing it. It was nice that they got along. Hans still moaned about her potpourri though.

“Barney.” Mrs Perkins called upstairs. “Barney.” She paused a moment and tried again. “Baaarneeeeey!” She soon realised that this was not going to get the naughty dog’ attention and tried another approach.

“Lunch is ready!” This wasn’t a lie, but that wasn’t why she wanted the dog. Imediatley the little dog shot down the stairs like a bullet from a gun, licking his lips with a great passion, eyes big and round, tail wagging non stop.

 

“Where’s lunch.” The dog demanded.

“On the counter, but…” She said grabbing his tail so he couldn’t race off again. “You’ll have to wait for Helga as long as I’m here we eat as a family.

“She hardly eats at all.” He said squirming to get near the big steaming bowl of something which he wasn’t sure of yet on the counter. He had a suspicious feeling in the pit of his stomach that it might be noodles.

“That might be, but could you find her sweetie. The sooner you do the sooner you’ll get to eat.”

“I don’t know why you’re bothering. She never sits down to eat proper meals-she’s too busy. She’ll just grab a few apples and go out to find something or go somewhere or do something like that.

“That is why she is so dreadfully skinny. She need never wear a corset in her entire life, but be that as it may I still want you to find her. I’ve arranged for her to come and have a beauty session with me after lunch and we can’t be late.” She replied with a friendly smile.

“She’ll hate that.” The dog said honestly.

“Yes she will, but I’m her mother and I know what’s best.”

“Do you now?” Hans asked mystically.

“Of course. Now how about a nice bowl of noodles for the hungry shop spirit?” She said pushing a little bowl in a nearby fireplace. Barney watched enviously as Hans’ chimney seemed to lavishly suck up the noodles.

“Where does all your food actually go?” Barney asked enquiringly.

“Don’t be so impertinent boy!” Hans snapped back. The dog was not one that liked scoldings (if anyone did for that matter) so he scampered off out the door to find his young mistress Helga. 

 

 It was a hot, sunny day and Barney had no intentions of going at any kind of speed; he wasn’t that hungry so the noodles would just have to wait. And as for the godforsaken beauty session, well he was pretty sure that there was as much chance of Helga going to that as there was of her mother getting her hair dirty-there was no chance at all. The dog trotted down the street, summer had shown the best of the town. In front of every redbrick house there was a new land of colour and smell. Honeysuckle and Ivy grew wild up the picket fences and the street was lined with apple and cherry trees. The smell of apple blossom swamped the air making his nose twitch. Noticing that some cherries had fallen of the tree the dog rushed there in an instant; it didn’t matter to him if they were slightly brown they still tasted good. These were too good to miss, he started picking the sun sweet berries and storing them in his cheeks. He kept the darker ones at the front- they were sweeter and juicier and were easier to get at if kept at the front. When he could not store any more in his mouth he trotted on contentedly humming a little muffled tune about bees.

“Oh fuzzy buzzy bumblebees…

Give me some honey please…

If you don’t I’ll bite of your little knees…

Fuzzy buzzy humblebees.”

Along he went singing the same tune for what must have been at least ten minutes. He was still singing it when he ran around a field full of daisies ripping up the wild flowers. And he still sung it as he rolled down a grassy hill bumping straight into Helga.

 

 “What a lovely song.” She said in a sickly sweet yet still blatantly sarcastic way.

“Really?” He replied not picking up on the sarcasm. “Cos I just made that up about ten minutes ago; couldn’t you tell?” She decided to humour him, besides he did love praise.

“Of course not, are you sure you only made that up ten minutes ago? It’s really rather excellent.”

“Yep, just now.” He said proudly wagging his tail, eyes gleaming and smiling broadly, well smiling as much as a dog could that is. “Thanks for the compliment-you may have a cherry.” Then he spit one single cherry out with very good aim into her out stretched hand.

“No.” She said disgusted, dropping it and scrubbing her hand vigorously with her old grass stained dressed.

“No really go on it’s your cherry.” He said determinedly pushing it towards her.

“Barney you really do have the same basic hygiene standards as a sewer rat.” She said exasperatedly.

“Thanks; I did clean my coat today-I thought you hadn’t noticed.”

Taking one look at his coat Helga knew it was a slapdash job- his fur had indeed been rinsed; probably from swimming in a murky river or diving into a puddle. But it still looked neglected and bedraggled, his fur was matted and tangled, there were still leaves sticking out of his tail and inbetween his teeth!

 

It had now come to the dogs attention that Helga was very wet, there was a stream nearby, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t seem to work out the connection between the two. But being blessed with a small brain he lost interest and became distracted by a shiny object that turned out to be nothing but an old can.

“I was looking for fire toads.” She announced to no one shaking the water out of her hair.

“Oh.” Barney said not really paying any attention.

“Yes they’re supposed to bring you good luck.” Barney gave up on his search for shiny things and was now listening as intensively as a dachshund with no attention span could be.

“Yeah, yeh gonna need it yeh mum’s booked yeh a beauty session.”

“No.” She replied quite confidently. “I don’t think so.”

“That’s what I said but… Aaaargh, where’s my tail!”

Helga had slyly swapped places with the dog with a quick travelling spell.

“That was sly, you sly sly person.” Barney grumbled.

“Stop moaning. It only lasts two hours, that will give you time to go to that lovely beauty session you’re so keen on. Besides you could do with a wash.” She said slightly muffled, it was very hard to speak with a mouthful of cherries.

“So could you!” This was true Helga looked in just as much a mess as the dog. There was mud, clay and leaves tangled in her hair; her dress was ripped and soaked and her fingernails were bitten right down to the edge.

“I’m not playing a long yeh can’t force me.” He said determindley.

“Oh yes I can.” Helga replied just as confident as before, but this time she said it deadly quieter. Slowly she raised her new dog head and began to spit out cherries one by one, stamping on them systematically.

“No!” The dog screamed, a lot higher than usual. “My cherries-stop! I’ll play along, just stop killing my cherries.”

She had manipulated him many times before and this was no exception.

 

On the way back he noticed some Fire toads in the stream jumping out in (rather dolphin like) the water, burping large amounts of blue fire as they did so. Barney couldn’t resist that he charged straight at them in his new human; female at that body, ready to tear the toads up into little bits. “No.” Helga commanded raising her new little furry yellow paw.

The dog froze, he couldn’t move-his body had been binded in some way.

“I wouldn’t do that at all-you’ll scare them off like that, you have to sneak round the back of them. Honestly.” She said unbinding him.

And just as he was about to sneak round the back of one of the toads she said. “There’s no time for that-you wouldn’t want to miss your precious beauty session now would you?” Barney padded on solemnly grumbling about something; the words nagging and a couple of others that can’t be mentioned as this is a children’s book!

 

 It was a short walk back, but it seemed even shorter for Barney. The nearer they got to Hans the more that Barney needed coaxing and ultimately blackmailing. As soon as approaching Hans he seemed to know instantly what had happened.

“I hope you know what your doing.” He said in the most sing-songish way to Helga in dog-form. Mrs. Perkins came running out instantly, arms flapping and waving oddly around her head.

“Oooh you beastly child! Look at you you’re a right state and I had a real treat in store for you.” She shouted hitting Barney in Helga form with her cream handbag.

“I’m not that ba…” The real Helga began to say indignantly. But remembering who she was; well who her physical self was anyway she quickly stifled her words into a half-hearted bark.

 

Chapter 4-In which a certain someone turns incredibly vain

 

“Poor Barney” Helga thought guiltily as she saw her mangy mutt get as good as dragged down the street into the horizon. It wasn’t that bad, she’d make it up to him. There is one thing he really really loved and that was-fried bullfrog surprise. The surprise was there was nothing in it besides bullfrog and pondweed.

 

“This is what you give me to work with Sally? This atrocious abomination? This sow’s ears? This bedraggled piece of flesh?”

Barney stood still obediently while Helga’s body was poked and hair pulled by some fat doll face, blonde woman.

“I know, I know Betsy but she’s my daughter and I know you can do a good job-I trust you.” Mrs. Perkins implored pleadingly.

‘Well if that’s how it is then I’ll turn this hag into a diamond, a lily, a silk pearl. I’ll make her glow with pride. Close the shutters Sall’. Today I am not a beautician, I am an artist.” She boomed proudly. The dog looked up at his killer. She had strange blue eyelids and weird coloured lips her hair stayed up in a perfect bun which ignored the rules of gravity completely. Topped with a cram silk flower in her hair and a flowery gown she looked like some kind of sickly sweet fairy or over iced cake-but not like a real person at all!

 

It all happened behind an eerie black curtained. He was primped, polished, painted and cut; and only when it had finished did he realise how much pain he was in. His eyes stung from the junk she had put on his eyebrows now in a completely different shape stung like slapped legs. He whimpered quietly as the tyrant went to get a mirror.

“Beauty is pain miss. Jenkins surely being your mother’s daughter you should know that by now? Here.” She scoffed passing him the mirror. He shuddered and took a deep breath before looking at the horror that awaited him-at least he wouldn’t be the one stuck like this. He looked and gasped.

 

It didn’t look like Helga at all; a completely different person with big shining and even skin tone. Her old chapped lips now seemed to have some kind of shape and were a strange browny pinkish colour, but what was most striking of all was the hair it was a rich hazel colour and it shone in neat ringlets bouncing around playfully. There was a strange new green shirt around her waist; Barney didn’t know what it was but he did know he was finding it hard to breathe.

 

This had changed him and as soon as he changed back into his normal scruffy self he insisted on Helga to up his bath day to that night. When he had finished he smelt distinctly of hyacinths and almost immediately had Sally clipping his claws. However the same could not be said for Helga she hated her new painfully look and spent the day skulking around trying to find a way of getting rid of the stupid curls perched on her head.

Chapter 5- In which this book finally gets somewhere

 

Helga was starting to miss her family. It had been a year she had been working as Newt’s royal adviser and she could never stop thinking about them. She was yet to participate in any interesting activity in the city, of course it did go on. Newt was always going out every night in a new disguise, he had many allies and many enemies it was not save for someone so well know to keep the same identity.

 

Helga sat up in her four poster bed and reached for her blue silk kimono; as Newts royal adviser she was treated with the utmost respect. Although that didn’t mean that the fellow employees didn’t talk about her-they did, a lot. They just couldn’t understand why a sixteen year old healer would be given the responsibility of royal adviser. Helga couldn’t understand either, but Newt had his reasons. Helga knew they were jealous of her, but instead of avoiding them she showed them nothing but kindness, which made them dislike even more. Things like “Stuck up wench!” and “Nouveau riche” were muttered a lot. What are you supposed to say when you here things like this-things that aren’t even said to you, but have gotten round to you through rumour? Nothing that’s what and nothing was said, well nothing by Helga at least.

 

Helga quickly went to her en suite and splashed her face with a jug of cold water before changing into an annoyingly exaggerate Sapphire and cream ball gown and excruciatingly tight corset complete with matching sapphire jewellery and blue sequin pumps. Huffing and moaning she changed into the terrifically uncomfortable dress complete with shoes two sizes to small and tried in vain to run down the stairs into Newts royal study were yours truly was looking mystically through what looked like a bronze kaleidoscope. Finding that this was impossible and preventing her to breath Helga took a more tasteful and sensible approach. She walked down gracefully trying with all care not to trip over the stupid dress!

“So sir in what awkward position will you put me in today to wear such an abomination to the name of practicality!” She said in a respectable joking way.

“Helga my friend how long have you worked as my adviser.” He said still looking through the strange kaleidoscope.

“A year?” She replied uncertain.

“Exactly! And still you address me as some old bourgeois!” He laughed putting down his kaleidoscope like thing.

“Indeed, but it is what everyone else has to address you as and I am no more important than any of your other servants, blacksmiths or caterers and I wish not to be treated any differently than any of they are.”

Newt laughed; his laugh was harsh and loud and sounded distinctly like a dog’s bark.

“So…” She continued ignoring his persistent smirks, “I would like your permission to return this dress to wherever it came from and where my old tatty clothes which you seem to have hid so well from me.”

“But their so hideous..” He moaned, “I see no point of wearing clothes if they are not beautiful! Besides I cannot give you permission even if I wanted to. You need that dress to night to do a smidgen of undercover work with me. Yes.” He said seeing the smile on her face. “Your job is finally going to get a little interesting.”

 

“Your wife?” Helga said astounded. “I can’t be your wife. Who would believe such a thing?”

“No one you know-just a few of the city’s enemies. Now put on your cloak and mask. It’s a fancy dress ball.” He added seeing the look on her face. It certainly was a magnificent Venetian mask all blue and silver with silver outlined eye holes leading to big beautiful silver oval tears. It was tastefully done; no line or sequin was out of place. To top it all fake little silver ringlets and peacock feathers hung beside the mask with tiny little blue bells clinging to the end juvenilely jingling whenever she moved her head.

“How quaint.” He said mockingly “I should know I picked it.”

She tried not to smile and used her best ability to look reproachful, but all she could manage was a smirk at the most. Seeing him in full view she realised that their outfits clashed completely, but in a good opposite way. He wore a cheeky red and gold jester mask rather to much like the nasty one that worked for him (he was the worst for talking behind her back- he didn’t try to hide it1); only this one was cheerful, there were no big oval tears in the corner of this jesters eyes- there were cheeky gold dimples instead and little mischievous freckle over the nose.

 

“Your wearing the same outfit as the first time I met you; that red gypsy top and those marvellous rings, but they’re not the same as I last saw them-this time they have different pictures! Mood rings?” She said smiling.

“Yes they are. And then after I met you I threw you out of a tree remember?” He said laughing in the same dog like way.

“Mmmm and then you came to my shop and saved me from a lifetime of painted faces and being without breath. Although tonight I’m not so sure. You seem to have me dressed up and pampered like your own personal doll!”

“Well done you’re taking on your role wonderfully!” He said smirking.

“A most wonderful wife you’d make.”

“Hmm.” She replied confidently “I intend to marry no one but myself.”

 

Newt called a glass carriage to take them to the ball, while they waited Newt and Helga transformed into different things for fun. By the time the carriage arrived Newt was one of Helga’s silver ringlets and Helga was an amber marble. Helga scrambled into the carriage refusing help from Newt who had already entered with one graceful step. Even inside the carriage Newt was still primping and fiddling with his appearance; changing the colour of his eyes from glassy emerald to forget me not blue with a single blink of the eye. He licked his top set of teeth and made them sparkle. “Grrrr!” He purred looking in yet another mirror (it seemed he couldn’t be any where without a full length mirror!), Helga snorted disapprovingly; she thought he really fancied himself-he did!

“What?” He laughed in a pleadingish way. “Forget me not blue to match my beautiful wife’s outfit.”

“Don’t insult me! I’ve never been beautiful in my entire life!” She joked giving into his devilish charm (Newt was great at persuading, he had to be he always got his own way), which had managed to make her wear this abomination to all her morals. “And anyway this stupid dress is peacock blue.”

“Alright then I’ll make them stupid  peacock blue.”

 

He did indeed turn his eyes a stupid peacock blue, but they still look stunning. That was the most annoying thing about Newt, he was so obsessed with his looks, but even at his worst; he still looked bloody fantastic! Now let me define stupid peacock blue… it sounds a bit weird, but it was a stupid shade of peacock blue. His eyes were peacock blue but when he looked in the light they almost looked green and around the edge they had a slight ring of violet purple and if you looked straight in the pupils for a while they looked chestnut brown.

“Tssk. Such a child. She scoffed looking out the window.”

 

The carriage came to a halt Newt and Helga both stepped out of the carriage gracefully and were met by a man wearing the same pie bald mask as the joker she had met in the street.

“Master Newt.” He said curtly bowing as briefly as he could.

“Malcolm.” Newt replied just as curtly and bowing just as briefly as the latter person. Newt walked off grabbing Helga’s hand as he did so.

“Who was that?” Helga asked enquiringly hoping she didn’t know the answer (She had hoped the rude person that she had met in the street was just her own imagination playing tricks on her.), she definitely did not feel like socializing with him!

“Oh he’s the least worst of my family- third cousin twice removed. It’s a big family!” Newt said simply.

“I thought you said that this ball was held by your enemies.”

“I did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like them!”

She looked at him confused and then looked around. They did seem like a bad lot: gambling, exchanging weapons and there were a lot of female giggles coming from a nearby closet. She didn’t even want to guess what that meant.

 

Newt’s eyes bulged slightly and he looked around panicky.

“Quick my mothers coming; act like you love me.”

“What! Aaargh.”

Newt held her face firmly and started to kiss her passionately.

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” A smooth Italian voice sang cooingly.

The owner of this voice was tall and thin with very long whitish blonde hair and big glassy green eyes like Newts. She was wearing a lot of white furs as well as a fake smile.

“Oh sorry mother I didn’t se you there. I’m just so in love with my wife... Helga” He said very unconvincingly. Letting go off her face he now got hold off her hand and started swinging it enthusiastically. He glared at her; indicating it was her turn.

“Oh yes. Were just so in love aren’t we…darling!” She said sniggering.

Newt glared at her even more. She covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing even more-he was in a right state. His palms were starting sweat, yet his face was turning paler by the minute.

“I’m sure your father would be very proud.” She said just as unconvincingly, although she actually did not intend to be convincing at all. “You know I feel sorry for you.” She said to Helga sincerely. “Going through all his tantrums everyday!” Helga was not aware off any tantrums but played a long happily.

“Oh yeah, he’s awful for tantrums aren’t you my love.” She said cooingly gazing into his eyes. She enjoyed her part in this, watching Newt get more and more embarrassed was fun.

“Ladies please…” He laughed pleadingly. “If you must blacken my name then at least have the decency to do it behind my back.”

“Ohhh but it is much more fun this way.” Newts mother said ruffling his hair like he was about eight. “Ahh my favourite son, such a handsome face you have; just like your father. I think you should go to the hall now he wants to see you and your…” She looked at Helga and smiled politely. “lovely  bride.”

 

“Newt my boy; give your pa-pa some love you mangy dog… you. Come here give your old man some love!” A benevolently old Spanish voice boom. He was the exact image of Newt, but he was slightly shorter, portlier and his hair was grey.

“Oh Newt you ass! Why has it been so long? Just over some stupid little scrap of land, can’t we but this behind.” He said happily kissing Newt on both cheeks and bear hugging him.

Helga could tell that Newt was not used to this, nor did he like it. His tiny little pencil like frame was being squished and his eyes were bulging again. He let go and Newt gasped.

“Of course.” He said sarcastically.

“Great!” He said not picking up from the sarcasm. “Then the dancing can begin.”

 

Helga didn’t know which way to look she kept getting swept away and span by different people all masked everything began to spin and her head hurt. It didn’t help that her dance partner kept changing every five minutes. It was only when a tall man wearing an orange devils mask grabbed her than she even knew that everywhere there were masks just like that one.

“Now stay perfectly still my treasure.” The man said coldly. Staring at her through evil slit eyes to reveal even eviler amber eyes. He grabbed her throat with a very bony greyish hand. “Move in the slightest bit and I shall snap your puny little neck in two!” He started simultaneously jagging at her neck with each one of those even bonier fingers.

Helga looked at him for a while to properly comprehend if he was really trying to scare her. She realised that he did. So she looked him with very pitiful eyes to fool him and then spat in his eyes. She was a very good spitter and got both eyes in one shot- a very skilled thing to do.

“Argh disgusting.” The man screeched dramatically. Instantly letting go of Helga’s neck and clutching his eyes as if they had been burnt with hot pokers.

“What a sissy!” Helga thought pulling out a hidden pathetically small dagger from under her wig.

 

The man looked up, saw the dagger and laughed manically. Then he stopped abruptly.

“Alright!” He roared ferociously. “Nobody move!” The surrounding masks grew into replicas of the man; it seemed that they had them surrounded.

“What the hell do you think your doing?” Helga cried waving the dagger at him.

“Yes what are you doing?” Newts mother said in her same creamy Italian voice. “We said you could have the city, now what do you want?’

“Shut up!” The devil masked man screamed. “ I will take whatever is connected to the key of that city…”

Somewhere in the shadows of the hall Newt looked up, eyes darting panicky.

 “Tony.” Newts mother screamed. “Do something.”

The devil mask people were now smashing priceless Ming vases and tearing priceless pictures. Whilst they did this the devil mask people multiplied. There must have been 1000 of them destroying the castle.

“Shut up!” The man roared. He took of his mask to reveal a snake’s head hissing and spitting with a passion. Two evil red slits of eyes stared at her. “Some of you!” He shouted to the room. “Will be the slaves of my slaves.” He said gesturing to the mask people. “ And others that have well…no purpose, well I’m afraid they’ll have to be-disposed!”

 

The snake man grabbed at Newt’s mothers arm and opened his mouth wide to reveal some long, sharp, dazzling, white teeth. He lowered his head and licked her long thin Italian neck with his red forked tongue.

“Hey you scaly scum ever heard of moisturiser!” Newt shouted throwing an open tub of orange cream at the snake man. The man’s scales began to hiss and smoke. He raised his snakehead and howled mournfully, hitting at his smouldering skin.

 

“Let’s go!” newt yelled!

“I think we’ve outstayed our welcome.” Helga joked nervously.

Newt ignored her. He lifted one left hand up flat and blew gently. A cloud swept out from his fingertips. Helga, Newt, Newts mother and father instantly leapt onto the cloud.

“Wait.” Newts mother said. “What about everyone else?”

“What about everyone else?” Newt said. “There’s no room. Let’s go!”

The cloud sped up into the sky at great speed swirling and tumbling. Helga threw up over the side onto the snake man’s head. She looked down guiltily. It wasn’t that far down; she could still see his disgusted face. Newt laughed and got a tight hold of the cloud-it had begun to plummet. Everybody else slammed into him and clung onto the clouds edges for dear life. Helga’s fake ringlets fell off and her flew restlessly above her head; it was one thing from the ghastly makeover that had never changed back.

 

The cloud was very high now and the city could barely be seen. Newt watched sadly as his childhood home burned below him.

“It was meant to be such a happy occasion.” Newts mother said mournfully. A couple of minutes past; everyone watched the city as it burnt to the ground. The day turned to night and the city turned into a massive pile of floating ash. And then fell away into nothing. The snake man and his bunch of mask men appeared by the cloud and floated around mocking them.

“How could you? “We already gave you our son’s city. How many do you want?” Newts father muttered bitterly. “Sorry son.” He added simply.

“Yes sorry Newt.” Newts mother cooed stroking her son’s beautiful hair. “We had to do it. They said they’d take your fathers new gold carriage if we didn’t and that carriage is very pretty. Shipped in from Venus.”

Newt ignored her; personally he felt that his city and employees were more important than something pretty and shiny. And that was not like him at all.

 

“Come on pretty boy!” One of the mask men who in fact turned out to be a mask woman shouted teasingly. “Give us a kiss, I promise I won’t steal your fancy face. Well actually no I don’t but you know what they say, keep your friends close keep your enemies closer! Lets get started.”

Newt looked into her eyes, she looked back worriedly (very appropriately too.) and burst into flames. “Now now Newt, play nicely.” The snake man taunted gliding to the front of the mask people. “You know those aren’t the rules. Now make sure your city is clean by the time I return to claim it.” The mask woman grew back again and creped shamefully to the very back of the mask people.

“Why?” Helga shouted angrily, “You’ll just burn it to the ground… I mean sky. You you you….big meanie!”

“On the contrary.” The snake man hissed “I have big plans for your city Newt, burning your parents city was just, just a bit of fun!”

Helga was beginning to shake with rage, how somebody cold be so manipulative and thoughtless was beyond her and from what Helga had seen of Newt’s family she was sure they didn’t deserve it! Sure Newt’s parents were selfish, and he was vain and shallow, but that didn’t mean that they were bad people.

 

Newt looked round at her worriedly and with good cause she was just about to conjure some flesh eating maggots to sprinkle over the snake mans evil face.

 

“No!” Newt shouted grabbing her conjuring arm. The cloud began to plummet again; the mask people and snake man howled with laughter and soared up into the air.

“Bye Newt!” The snake man screamed. “I’ll be back in a couple of weeks to claim what’s rightfully mine.” He looked at Helga briefly as they plummeted. “Tell you what.” He shouted after them. “You can keep that wench of yours, a bit plain for my liking.”

Helga swore very loudly, but it was too late the cloud had landed in Newt’s office and the mask people and Snake man were far far away.

Chapter 6-In which there is a certain amount of explaining and an unplanned dinner

 

It took a while for everyone to dust down and on top of that Newt insisted that everyone have hot baths to calm them down a bit.

“Our home.” Newt’s mother said unbelievably sipping a petite glass of coffee. No one said anything, what was there to say when someone had lost close to everything? Newt’s father grunted in agreement staring at a newly lit fire, but made very little other noises.

“Maria!” Newt shouted, a mixture of impatience, anger and grumpiness in his tone. “Hurry up with that water!”

A short woman only a couple of years older than Helga came running in flustered and looking very stressed, very sweaty too. Probably due to the ridiculously extravagant outfits the staff had to wear. She was a maid and spent most her time scrubbing floors but still Maria had to put up with the full works: corset, petticoat, grey satin dress crystal pumps and a silver bow to top it all.

“Where the hell have you been?” Newt spat at her accusingly.

 

“S..s..sorry sir. It’s just Yuki’s been missing and she’s the only one who has a key to the old tap’s, but don’t worry everybody’s out looking for her.”

“What use is that to me if everyone is looking for her; I want my bath now!”

“I don’t know sir…I mean…I’m sorry… I mean oh no!” She squeaked looking into his manipulative almost bullying stare.”

“Get out of my sight!” He bellowed.

She looked for the first time at Helga and looked back at Newt, she was white as a sheet and there was terror in her eyes. She fled out of the room.

 

Helga looked at Newt appalled and looked back to where the girl had been standing.

“If sir doesn’t mind,” Helga said very sarcastically. “I would like to repair the damage done to that poor girl’s self esteem!”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me sir!” Newt said tiredly grasping his forehead in exasperation.

 

Helga looked at him pitifully. How could he be so stupid? She didn’t wait for permission, but instead turned on her heel and walked quickly out of the room –it was hard to run in the stupid dresses! She caught up with the young girl who was now muttering insults to herself. It didn’t seem very fair to Helga that she got treated like some kind of goddess and everyone else was treated worse than the city’s vermin-if it had any that was. Newt was terrified of mice and could make the whole city shake when he was scared, so mice weren’t very welcomed visitors.

“What do you want?” The girl shot at Helga bitterly. “Why don’t you get back on your pedestal with him!”

Evidently the other staff thought likewise.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Helga said apologetically. “I should have said something. It’s really not fair the way he treated you and everyone else.”

“And boy do we know it.” The girl laughed nervously. “Look I’m erm sorry about what I said, it was uncalled for.”

“No, you were right. I deserved I knew everyone else was treated badly, but I did nothing. But anyway I’m here to help you find Yuki now, just like everyone else!”

“She’s not lost.” Maria said very simply turning at a sharp corner.

“ She’s not?” Helga said surprised. “ Well were is she.”

“Here.” She answered opening a dusty door. “She’s completely pisss…”

 

“Ed!” Shouted a very slurred voice stinking of cheap cider.

“No Yuki, its Maria.” She said very slowly and clearly. “Now Yuki, where did you put the key.”

Yuki shrugged and giggled hysterically seeing two mice run past. “Mice.” She said slyly pointing at them.

“Damn!” Maria shouted pouncing on them. She needn’t have moved a muscle. Helga kicked one of her freakishly big feet high in the air and pointed one very daintily at the mice. Red sparks jumped through her shoes and shot the mice, the mice shrieked and next minute instead of two mice standing on the floor two slippers did instead.

 

“She looked like she needed them.” Helga said indicating to Yuki’s soaked feet encased by the most revolting socks. Yuki and Helga looked at them disgustingly, both fully aware of what needed to be done next.

The two women rolled up their sleeves and began to peel off two stinking socks surrounded by mud and slime. It wasn’t a nice task and there were many suprises waiting inside those socks too. A knife for instance Helga had found tucked inside the left sock. Some playing cards, train tickets and two dice Maria had found in the other and right deep down right inside the filthy thing was the key. “Bloody hell Yuke what’ve you been doing all night?”

 

Thirty minutes past by. Newt was screaming and bellowing, possibly having one of those tantrums his mother had warned Helga of. Helga thought it was about time to stop his moaning; she ran around senselessly looking for the so called taps whilst Maria tried to talk some sense into Lynn, who was now insisting that she was the Queen of France and was insisting that her people not be given bread. After a lot of running around in what seemed like endless circles Helga realised that there was only one little tiny tap in the servants quarters. She had passed it many times, but had never thought that that could have been the tap to the whole city’s water supply. It seemed that the phrase “Great things come in all sizes” was proving to be true; she went to the little tap and after careful examination found a little keyhole on the back of it. She turned the key and almost instantly heard Newt shout very angrily “Oh thanks for being so quick with that water, great teamwork! Do I employ you to run a city or what?”

“Your welcome.” Helga called back cheekily.

 

Helga returned to the little room to see Yuki coughing away with a passion. Helga rushed over to her knowing perfectly well what she would do next, she lifted up Yuki’s long tatted raven hair whilst she threw up violently onto the floor. Maria smiled weakly at her.

“Friends?” She asked.

Helga beamed. “Friends.” She said stretching out a hand expecting Maria to shake it. Instead she punched her lightly in the arm.

“Hey!” Helga shouted. “What was that for?”

“Oh that’s just my way. Can’t stand all that hand shaking rubbish. See I’m from Liverpool and Yuke here’s from Japan, so we don’t really go in for that stuff.”

“Where’s Liverpool?” Helga asked rubbing her arm; she didn’t really go in for this punching rubbish. 

“Yeh’ve never heard of Liverpool? Yeh’ve never lived!”

Maria picked up one of Yuki’s limp arms and draped it over one of her shoulders. Helga did the same thing, the two began to slowly drag Yuki to the servant’s quarters whilst Maria began to explain why Liverpool was the best place ever.

 

After the two had got an unconscious Yuki into her and Maria’s room and laid her down on a white futon, Helga marched up to Newt’s office to tell him that from now on she’d be living in the servants quarters like everyone else with her new friends.  The room was made out of black frosted glass so the two got a bit of privacy, Helga didn’t own that much so it didn’t take her long to move her stuff.  All she had were some old clothes, (mostly patched dresses and tights) a few cracked beakers and test tubes for her spells, a quill & diary and an old book with no cover, that she liked.

 

Next day Helga spent her time with Maria- Yuki was still unconscious.

Newt did not call upon her, he was sulking and it seemed that today he had no use for his royal adviser except to ignore and glare at through his office’s bay windows. All while his mother pampered and coaxed him like some kind of spoilt prince. Maria was keen to find out how Yuki had got those train tickets and after work she spent all her spare time trying to sober her up enough to talk. Whilst Maria’s vain attempts to sober Yuki went on Helga started to look around her new room. She hadn’t gotten to have a proper look last night; she had been so tired, she’d just fell on the spare futon and fallen asleep instantly.

 

The room was small, not like her previous room and she liked it like that. The floor was pinewood and everyone left their shoes outside before coming inside to help keep the floor clean. There wasn’t much in the room either. The three futons sat in the middle of the room, there was a Chinese fan hung up on the left wall by Yuki and a poster of Liverpool City hanging on the right wall which Maria was responsible. There were a couple of cushions in the corner, a desk, one chair, and a kettle.

 

After letting Maria struggle with Yuki enough Helga came to the rescue.

There were a couple of sachets of coffee next to the kettle, Helga opened a couple and poured them into a bowl and boiled a tiny bit of water. “This could be the strongest black coffee ever.” Helga thought to herself. She propped Yuki up on the futon with the help of the cushions and began to spoon feed her the vile stuff. After a couple of hours Yuki threw up violently in the bathroom and started cursing silently to herself. Holding her head with both hands she managed to stumble back to the futon and made it perfectly clear too Maria (non verbally) that she was in no mood to talk.

 

After being hit over the head with a stray pillow for trying to get any explanation out of Yuki Maria gave up and started to make some tea.

“So, why you come here then?” Maria asked Helga.

“Well I’ve always wanted to work her, ever since I can remember. Everyone told me about this beautiful fairytale like place in the sky, but I think it must be lost now.” She joked sadly.

“Yeah. It used to be great when I joined. I guess you just picked the wrong time to fly, eh?” She said laughing at her own joke.

“I guess so.” She muttered meekly.

“Yeah he’s been a right bast…”

“Back off!” Yuki shouted aggressively. “You know he’s not, he’s so kind and polite, and such a gentleman and…

“Yeah and a spoilt brat!” Helga butted in. Yuki Scowled at her.

“He’s none of those things Yuke he’s just a complete and utter…

“Hey!” She barked back so angrily, that Helga remembered that she once had a dog with the same temperament. That’s what Newts city did to you, it made you forget your origin, unless you constantly reminded yourself of it like Yuki and Maria.

 

Yuki wasn’t really sad now but more melancholy and upset. “He never used to be alright! He used to be so nice until she left him!”

“Who’s she?” Helga asked Maria quietly.

“Newt’s Ex-girlfriend, we think he was quite in love with her, but she was just messing with his head. She was a witch like you, but she didn’t practice white magic.” She whispered back.

“Oh.” Helga said knowingly. Maria carried on.

“When she left, cursed him saying that as long as he lived he and all his employees would live a life of misery and loneliness and never experience love again.”

“Yeah.” Yuki said decisively. “That’s it. He’s just lonely.”

“You’re only sucking up to him because he gave you that promotion.” Maria scoffed smiling against her own will. She turned to Helga. “From an ordinary mechanic to head engineer.”

 

A couple of hours later Helga and Maria (Yuki had conveniently fallen asleep when she heard the word “play” and “poker” together- she hated poker) were playing poker with next door who had a secret stash of poker cards. Newt had banned them years ago, as they had been his ex’s favourite past time and anything that was associated with her was bad in his mind. Helga on the over hand had found a new heart for poker and was raking it in. It was late into the night before they returned to their own room and Maria spent five minutes vainly trying light her last cigarette with two rocks. Newt only allowed his employees to light up once a day (his ex smoked too), so matches were rationed and Maria had lost her ration of them on a bus earlier that week.

 

“I wish I’d asked her were she’d gotten those tickets from before, she’ll be out for the night now.”

“Why do you care so much about them?” Helga asked counting her winnings. “Hey who threw in a button? The cheapskate!”

Maria ignored her and carried on.

“The tickets-they were green.”

“Wow!” Helga said smiling sarcastically. 

“No you don’t understand. The trains aren’t given names they’re given colours. Green is a sky train; I sky train well that could go anywhere, it could get us out of this dump forever! How did she get this? There’s no station in the city.” She said pacing the floor. “Unless…” She said astounded turning to Helga.

 

“Unless what?” Helga asked. She was no longer pretending to be interested now, she actually was! She put down her winnings and stood up realising what Maria was about to say.

“Unless she’s found a way to get out.” She gasped.

They both turned around and looked horrified at the seemingly innocent Yuki asleep on the futon. How had she managed to get out of the city? The only way out was with a key that Newt had and Newt would not open the castle doors to anybody. There was surely no escape, but Yuki had seemingly found a way.

 

Chapter Seven-In which there is some disappointment and harsh realities realised

 

The next day was a Tuesday; Yuki and Maria had the day off and as for Helga Newt was still denying she existed, this sulks was proving to be a long one. But Helga didn’t mind she had never had a day off before, because Newt had been so possessive and clingy to her; now he just showed signs of contempt.

“If he wants to sulk let him do it.” She said to Maria confidently.

“That’s the way.” She cheered. “Everybody such hate their boss just a little bit-it’s only natural!” Helga was doing everything she could for Maria. Maria had found some strange outfit that Helga absolutely loved, it was so comfortable. Maria called it “Jeans” “T-shirt” and “trainers” and Helga was as she would say “chuffed as hell!”

 

 Yuki came out of the room looking like a rainbow; she wouldn’t take her uniform off even on a day off. A white kimono, strappy sandals and geisha wig Helga thought were really not the kind of thing to wear when you are head engineer. Yuki didn’t mind, she even came out with a face as white as chalk, lips as red as a fresh cut and whipped eyelashes. She really was a pretty geisha girl. It had been hard to tell the night before when her eyes were like a bloodhound’s and there was vomit splashed on her chin, but today she shone with radiant beauty. Maria on the other hand was wearing chocolate stained denim dungarees with scuffed trainers and a T-shirt that was ripped and thread warn in the arms.

 

“You really should care less about pretty things.” Helga said reproachfully, locking the door behind them.

“Why?” Yuki said opening up a black a black and white parasol.

“Because you’re an engineer for chrissake! They like to get dirty and oily!”

“So!” Yuki said a little irate.

“No…” Helga said calmly avoiding another argument. “It just seems a little vain.”

“Well I guess if being vain is always wanting to look your best then…I am vain.” She said simply.

 

It was a warm autumn day. The three had decided to go into town rather than walk on the wild side of the city, as the leaves were falling and when glass leaves fall onto a glass ground, well you can just imagine the commotion! Maria had a little money in her backpack and the three stopped at an ice-cream parlour for a quick breakfast.

“Here.” She said pulling out the room’s cushions from her backpack. “Well the seats are glass!” She said seeing Helga and Yuki’s expressions. Maria pulled out a couple of yen (which thankfully were still the currency in the city) and walked up to the counter were a teenage girl was slyly trying to burst a zit without anyone noticing. Yuki and Helga pretended not to see it and sat down.

“Hey! Can I get one Pretty and Pink, a Gooey Chocolate supreme and…Hey Helg what d’you want?”

“Er coconut.” She answered without even thinking about it.

“Good choice.” Yuki said opening a paper she’d found in the window.

“Hey and could you fill this up for me mate?” Maria not so much as asked but told the girl. “Thanks.” She said pulling out a flask from her backpack.

“Woah Maria how big’s that thing.” Yuki gasped in oar.

“Not big enough!” Maria said heaving the big thing back on her back.

 

As it was early the three friends decided to catch a film before it got busy. Yuki wanted to see some love film called “Histoire d’amour.” And Maria wanted to see some crummy silent comedy called Mr Carl’s pyjamas. So to solve the quarrel Maria suggested they just went with whatever Helga wanted to see. Helga was happy about this as she thought they both sounded just as bad as each other! It was decided that they would go and see “The cat’s of Vienna.” (I’m sorry but I’m not going to tell you about it; you’ll just have to go and buy my next book too if you want to now about it. Mwa ha ha!)

 

It took a suprisingly long time to get the ice cream and Yuki was getting a little irate. When she finally got it it seemed somewhat disappointing too.

“Hey you jerk! This is cherry not strawberry!” She shouted slamming down her newspaper and storming out of the ice-cream parlour. The other too followed her obediently. Maria pretended to look really annoyed but as soon as Yuki wasn’t looking she grabbed Helga’s and her own ice cream shouted thanks and ran back before Yuki had even turned around.

 

Maria and Helga ate the ice cream shamefully trying not to laugh as Yuki glared at them.

“Traitors.” She said coldly. But against her own will her face had began to crack a smile and she just managed to run into a fruit store before the other two noticed. She came out perfectly happy; grinning like a Cheshire cat, she was holding three paper bags of strawberries and looking smug.

“I got the other two free.” She announced as if someone had asked her why. “I know the guy who works there, he’s alright.”

 

They still had an hour to kill before the film started. Maria opened up the paper bag and began to make an origami swan; her fingers were very quick and skilful and she finished it just under a minute. Yuki opened up her bag and started to fold, but she wouldn’t let anybody see what she was making. Helga couldn’t do origami and it was too hot for her to concentrate. Her head was throbbing, how could it be so hot this early? Helga kicked off her trainers and socks and lay on the ground lapping up the suns rays; too lazy to roll over into the shade she lay there burning. Minutes passed. Yuki still wouldn’t show anyone her unfinished origami and Maria and Helga were very bored. Maria sighed and looked round hoping to see something interesting. Instead she saw a fountain. Maria ran over to it, the hot glass ground was burning her feet. She sat on the edge of the fountain and stuck her feet in daintily. Helga heard the playful little splashes of Maria’s feet and realised what it was. She ran over to the fountain and stuck her feet in too.

“Hey look!” Maria shouted. She was standing on the edge of the fountain and walking very precariously on the edge. “I’m so elegant! I wasn’t made for scrubbing floor; my soul belongs to a tight rope walker.” Bad timing. Maria stepped onto a wet ledge and fell in with a gigantic sploosh.  Helga couldn’t hold herself together and burst out laughing. “What was that about being a tight rope walker?  Maybe you were made to scrub floors after all!”

 

Helga laughed too soon and got her comeuppance. She was laughing so hard that she had too hold her sides, she kicked her legs madly in the air and fell backwards into the fountain. Helga spluttered and choked, still laughing. “I guess I deserved that?” She said splashing Maria.

“Definitely!” Maria growled playfully. She got Helga into a headlock and ruffling her hair madly.

“Aaw!” Yuki called from a distance sounding quite annoyed. “Now we can’t go to the pictures!”

“On the contrary my dear.” Maria mimicked holding her nose up high. “We could go, but we’d get thrown out straight away!”

 

“Hey!” Helga said noticing what Yuki had in her hand. “What’s that?” Yuki looked at her terror in her eyes, she tried to hide the thing behind her back but it was too late. Maria let go of Helga and ran up towards Yuki snatching the little object out of her hand and stared at it horrified.

“What is it?” Helga shouted clambering out of the fountain.

“It’s it’s it’s…another train ticket.” Maria suddenly turned very aggressive and turned round staring at Yuki fiercely. 

“Alright Yuki!” She shouted angrily. “What’s going on? I’m supposed to be your best friend and your keeping something as important as this away from me! What’s the matter with you…you know how much these tickets mean to me! Are you…are you trying to leave without us!” The last couple of words she uttered quietly in disbelief.

“I’m so sorry Maria….” Yuki said shamefully. Maria no longer looked angry, but betrayed and disappointed instead. “You see the thing is, it’s not like that you see because…they’re fake!

 

Chapter Eight-In which someone has too let go of a grudge for a short length of time

 

“Fake.” Maria whispered in disbelief slouched against a glass tree.

“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. You see I make things…and I don’t even know I’m making them. It’s weird-like a trance and when I’m out of it I can’t even remember what I’ve done. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” Then she broke down. “Please, please help me! I think I’m going mad. Somedays I’m shining like the stars and the next I’m a wreck! Like yesterday, I don’t know why, but I was just so sad and booze seemed the only answer.” She was crouched on the floor, her long black hair covering her face; she looked so pathetic and helpless.”

“Your not mad” Helga said putting her soaking arm around her comfortingly.

“Yeh just a weirdo!” Maria joked nervously, punching her in the arm the same way she had done too Helga before.

“Get off me! You wet drips.” Yuki laughed. Maria gasped dramatically. Yuki and Helga had couldn’t help but laugh.

“I have never been so insulted in my entire life!” She said in a phony posh voice. “My name is Lady Maria of Maria Manor and I have never been wet in my entire life. Always have to wear a swimming costume in the bath. I can’t have anybody see my ankles now can I!”

 

The three burst out laughing at ran through the town darting to and throe various shops not caring who or what they might annoy!

“Good Morning Sir!” Maria called in the same phoney posh voice. They were inside a chocolate shop and a rather round man wearing a grey suit and bowler hat was examining the different types of cappuccino fudge. She knocked off his hat and ran off shouting back after him. “Toodle pip, tally ho or whatever those posh types say… goodbye!” The tree ran out laughing insanely, they began to slow down when a voice with authority said simply. "“Having fun are we?” It was Newt. He was leaning against an alleyway wall-filing his nails!

 

“You!” He sounded annoyed. “Engineer woman you thought you’d forget about work yesterday did you?”

“N…n…n…no sir.” She stuttered to her boots.

“Good because you wont! You’ll work of the inconvenience you caused me yesterday. Consider your day off officially over!”

She began to cry; massive oval tears rolled from her eyes down her cheeks. Ashamed she covered her face with her hands and ran home. It was amazing that she didn’t bump into too many things. Maria gave Newt one disgusted look and ran after Yuki. Helga just stood there glaring at him. How could somebody who seemed to be such a gentleman turn out to be such a spoilt prince?

 

“Unfortunately.” Newt said not even bothering to look at Helga, but carried on filing his nails away. “You’ll have to come with me. I think I know what those things were, but I guess I need some advise from my…royal adviser on what to do about them!” He dropped his nail filer and strutted proudly up to the castle without even glancing at Helga.

“Are you going to bother to tell me what you think they were or am I suppose to be left hanging.” She asked simply. He didn’t answer.

“Such a spoilt brat.” She thought contemptfully.