Elanor's Guide to the Disc

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Drowning in the Pishe Gardens

It is said that it is impossible to die in the Pishe Waterpark of Ankh-Morpork's Apothocary Gardens.
This is not in fact true. There is one underwater room and if you have good swimming skills or a heavy burden you will not drift with the current.
I am strangely proud of being the first person to drown in the pishe gardens and so I post this log of the event.
The death is of course the result of a burst of lag which lasted about 10 minutes.


You carefully bounce on the board and leap upwards.
In mid-air you bend down and touch your toes before straightening and landing in the water with a disappointingly large splash.
Only a bit of light penetrates this far beneath the surface of the large pool, invading the water with a deep blue luminescence.  The flagstones lining the pool can be seen on the very bottom of the pool, as well as climbing up its sides.  A strange current pervades the depths of the pool trying to sweep you east to shallower waters.
There are two obvious exits: up and east.
Scattered light dances from your pair of crystal teardrop earrings.
Your lungs feel quite heavy.
Your lungs feel very heavy.
Your lungs feel close to bursting.
Chericia tells you: Me and Death understand each other. You may call it a bilateral tolerance.
You feel a burning sensation in your lungs.
Your lungs feel as though they are on fire.
Hp: 1767 (1767) Gp: 313 (391) Xp: 3030
Agonising pain radiates from your lungs.
Hp: 1752 (1767) Gp: 205 (391) Xp: 3724
Damage: 15
You feel everything going black.

Hp: 837 (1767) Gp: 205 (391) Xp: 3814
Damage: 915
You panic and try to flee for the surface.
You struggle to leave up but, with the load you're carrying, you can't make any headway.
You feel everything going black.
Hp: 0 (1767) Gp: 205 (391) Xp: 3916
Damage: 837
Your feet touch the ground again.
You feel dry now.
A large wooden shield clatters to the ground.
Your skin feels itchy; large pieces flake off as you scratch it.
Someone says: PITY ABOUT THE WEATHER.
You turn and see Death standing behind you.
Death says: PERHAPS YOU SHOULD TAKE A NUMBER,  WE ARE BUSY TODAY.
Death says: THE GODS ALWAYS SEEM TO LET PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE BUT I DON'T SEE THE POINT.
Death says: I SUPPOSE YOU WANT TO BE ALLOWED TO STAY, DO YOU?
Death says: I REALLY DON'T LIKE DOING ALL THESE FAVOURS FOR YOU PEOPLE.
Death says: I MEAN, WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
Death says: HOW ABOUT I JUST LEAVE YOU HERE?  NONE OF THE GODS WILL TOUCH YOU WITH A BARGE POLE.

You tell Chericia: could I get a resurrect? lagged underwater
Tempus Plavalaguna exclaims to you: all done!
Death says: WE MUST STOP MEETING LIKE THIS.
Death says: WHOOPS, ALMOST DROPPED YOUR HOURGLASS THERE!

Death grins sheepishly.
Death gets back onto Binky and rides away.

You hear a pattering of many tiny feet.
The ground suddenly opens up in front of your feet and a bunch of manically grinning dwarfs pop out and start bouncing around in front of you.
With a huge smile one of the grinning dwarfs whispers in your ear: Here, take this book - it'll tell you everything you need to know.  But don't mention it to Death.  Ok?
Without waiting, they all leap back into the hole which slowly closes after them.


= = =  SNIP  = = =

talker history wizards
You whisper to the wizard's pointy hat, asking for the last few chats on channel Wizards.
The eyes mutter about your bad memory.
Queaumesse wisped: are those gnolls scryable?
Vestigia wisped: "You feel too stupid to contemplate Jogloran's Portal of Cheaper Travel at the moment."
Vestigia wisped: I do, do I?
Ralach wisped: apparently
Jinxed wisped: cross-contemplated?
Vestigia wisped: Arr
Jinxed wisped that he dribbles
Akenos wisped: Is anyone else getting a lot of lag?
Kathanon wisped: A bit.
Akenos wisped: Yeh it doesn't seem too bad now actually, but I froze up a minute or two ago
Elanor wisped: I think I am the first person to die in the eater gardens
Elanor wisped: water gardens
Elanor wisped: I hate Lag
Straightwire wisped: Elanor got killed by the lag again
Akenos wisped that he /
Straightwire wisped: I usually come back from lags with a who dead
Elanor wisped: noe my lives arent equal, better get another
Elanor wisped: another 2
Vestigia wisped: Woah... I guess I am not the speediest among EFF casters :P
Ralach wisped: oOO-erh, decorative clothes. >.>