Sherry Sheehan Poems

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WHY JOKE

The times cry for diversion.  I find mine in humor.  This page is reserved for poems that might provide a giggle, even a sardonic chortle in some cases.  So far I've found three to post:
 
The Unbearable Heaviness of Being
At A Women's Club Board Meeting
Into Lay's
 
 
 
(With a nod to Milan Kundera for this title)
 
THE UNBEARABLE HEAVINESS OF BEING
 
I showered off dirt and sweat,
applied no lotions or creams,
filed my fingernails short,
removed their polish,
thought of shaving my head
but decided cutting an inch
was as far as I could go
before donning my flimsiest
outfit, slip-off sandals,
and heavy winter coat.
Ignoring the cold,
I wore no stockings or socks.
I'd skipped breakfast
and my usual coffee stop
and hoped I wouldn't faint
before my appointment
at two o'clock.
Once on the dreaded
device, I exhaled,
but that too failed.
Despite all preparations,
the doctor's scale
once again weighed heavy.
 
 
AT A WOMEN’S CLUB BOARD MEETING

 

“But I just sent her a get-well card,”

exclaimed the corresponding secretary

upon hearing that one of our members

had died two days earlier, unexpectedly.

 

“These things happen,” responded

the president. “I had a friend who kept complaining

to her husband that she wasn’t feeling well.

He told her to get over it.”

 

“Next thing we knew, she had died.”

“Oh, my,” came the chorus around the table,

and then, to my right I heard a member whisper,

“She sure showed him.”
 
 

INTO LAY'S

 

Classic Lay's potato chips

curl and fold themselves while frying,

getting ready for my hips.

Tongue applauds. They're satisfying.

 

Lip and tooth-crushed interaction,

crispy, salty, golden fat

zing me into stupefaction.

Losing all resolve, I snack

 

from the package 'til I clip it,

place it far from where I sit,

but get up, and dip into it.

When they’re gone is when I'll quit.