I had a strange dream last night. Apparently I had somehow jumped into a different timeline to fix something. I had lived in this timeline until the present day, in 2009. I needed to go back now, though; whatever I was doing, I had done, and it was time to return to the year I left: 2005. So I passed through this giant shimmering wall, looking rather like a force-field. When I got back to 2005, I was with my family. They were unsurprised, and seemed to know about my traveling. I decided I had to tell them about the future, so I talked about the most notable thing, the presidential election. Told them about Obama.

But the dream was so wrong. The notion that I had lived three years that they hadn't and now I was back to live those years again, with all that knowledge I had. It was like I was with aliens. People aren't the same three years ago. A lot happens in the world and a lot happens with personalities. I knew my family would literally be different people. And I would have to live through all that school again, and problems that had already been solved. It was deeply unsettling. I know I've had dreams like this before, too. About infinite loops. Terrifies me.

There is no stranger time than 5 PM. Not midnight, or one or even two in the morning. Those times all know what they are; they have a designated role and purpose and atmosphere. They play their (ambient) music with no hesitation. They are settings and backdrops and they know it.

But 5 PM is different. Because things are changing; it is a state of transition -- day to night. Who knows what to do at 5 PM? No one. No one at all, because it's too early for dinner and too late for productivity. It's the piece of the clock that slipped through the cracks. And it's so ugly -- ridiculously sickly. I feel a bit nauseous at 5 because I don't know what to be doing. Mostly I'm just thinking about food, or the night, or maybe the next morning. But I'll tell you this much. I'm never thinking about 5 PM when it's 5 PM. It's 7:26 right now.

It's already night and the sun is setting.

Too many things are complicated. And too many things change. That's why I like clean lines. They have no anti-aliasing; they're not trying to be something big. They simply are what they are. The pixels don't shift as you zoom in; they just get larger. The further you zoom, the bigger the clean, sharp edges become. You can zoom infinitely, and the picture stays the same. The same, only bigger. Nothing is lost.

That's why I like clean lines. They are what they are.

Have you ever ridden a song like you were on a skateboard or a surfboard or a something board, and just skimmed the ridges and bumps and thumputtythump 'til you were getting whiplash or some sort of shockityshock from it all? And between each of those ridges are lakes; yeah, they're nestled there in the valley like little puddles of pure black. In the winter it might be nice to go sledding, but if you hit one now you'd just drown.

I also feel like those ridges could be the bumps on Klingon faces.

Is it sleeping the day away? I don't know, but that seems to be a recurring dream of mine: waking up around five PM. It's weird how that gets under my skin. I'm always happy when I wake up for real and find out I'm on the AM side of twelve o'clock.

Maybe there are people out there who dream about getting no sleep at all. Is that what insomniacs dream about? When they dream, that is? There's some sort of irony there.

Tick tock goes the clock.

Try thinking about breathing. Suddenly every breath is a chore and it is no longer an involuntary, unconscious action. Your lungs never feel quite full enough. Each breath is deliberate and necessary. Don't stop; don't forget. You'll suffocate. It's too bad you forgot that you don't need to think about it. Now you're trapped in the cycle. Have fun!

Every movie, game, and book likes to proclaim how it is "dark." Why is Dark so much preferable to Light? When did this happen? Dark means an absence of light and of colour. When used in advertising it usually conjures gritty images and deep, realistic, "adult" themes. As if to imply that cheerful, bright shades can't convey anything of significance. It's absurd and overdone to the point of cliche -- it's no longer a novelty; it simply relegates the piece of art using the style to just another item in the landfill of blacks and browns (hope that didn't sound racist).

I'm guessing the trend will shift to bright colours at some point, once people realize there's nothing wrong with them. There needs to be more art made of crayons.

Birds as Tarps

I was looking at a tattered poster today, and I noted that it looked a bit like a bird with a square body. That is, I could see the beak, and it kind of melded into the big square that was the rest of the poster. It'd be pretty odd if birds' wings and body were a big, rectangular blanket. Sort of like those flying squirrels.

I still think one of the creepiest things is a large creature with a beak. Big birds are frightening.

According to my calendar Jesus lived approximately 500,450 years ago, but even back then they knew how to walk on water. While the Greys (for simplicity this is what we will call them, though they have a much more complicated name in reality) cloned Jesus Christ to obtain the secrets to immortality, they did not absorb the deeper secret of buoyancy. The cloned Jesus's were named in alphabetical order, to please the future historians who would be speaking English.

Alex
Beatrice (the transgender variety)
Cornelius

While these Jesus's could walk on water, the Greys were never able to determine the source of their powers. This is curious as they had highly advanced technology, even back then. The truth -- the one that unravels this mystery -- is the power of a drug that millions, perhaps billions, of people use regularly today; it is commonly called caffeine.

Caffeine is a stimulant that increases your heart rate and gives you energy. I suggest that, circulating through the bloodstreams of the original and the clone Jesus's, was a more potent form of caffeine. The Greys, while at the time possessing incredible mechanical and computerized technology, were still in the infancy of their biological research, and so could not extract this powerful chemical from the Saviour's body. This explains why the Greys' need boats today.

With this super-caffeine in their bodies, the Jesus's could vibrate at a very high frequency and glide across water effortlessly. The strong vibrations shook used caffeine from their bodies, which was absorbed by the bodies of water all over the world. While less powerful than the original form, caffeine is still very useful for staying awake. If we ever find an ancient Jesus body, we may be able to retrieve a sample of the pure chemical.

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They're made in the 90s and they're playing on your television as you lie on the couch. You are very sick and you have a fever. The actors in the movie are all grown up now, but at the time they were kids or teenagers. In your delusional state, drifting between consciousness and the dreamplane, you draw strange associations between the characters on-screen and your past and future life. You create your own reality; you don't want to, but it happens anyway. There will be no good sleep for you tonight.

No good sleep, no good sleep. The forgotten teen idols have gotten into your mind with the help of governmental production values. They are wearing make-up and they're carrying rubber mallets. Bang bang bang, they take out your central brain centres.

If you ever get better you will be very angry.