In the counselling sessions the client can explore various aspects of their life and feelings, talking about them freely and openly in a way that may not be possible with friends or family. Bottled up feelings such as anger, anxiety, grief and embarrassment can become very intense and counselling offers an opportunity to explore them, with the possibility of making them easier to understand.

Acceptance and respect for the client are essentials for positive and constructive counselling to take place and as the relationship develops so too should the trust between the counsellor and client, enabling the client to look at many aspects of their life, their relationships and themselves which they may not have considered or been able to face before. Research suggests that the relationship you build with your individual therapist is more important than the type of therapy you receive. If you and the therapist can work well together, trust and respect each other, it is more likely that the sessions will benefit you.

The therapist may help the client to examine in detail the behaviour or situations which are proving troublesome and to find an area where it would be possible to initiate some positive change. The therapist may help the client to look at the options open to them and help them to decide what is their best course of action.

Talking therapies are not magic solutions to what sometimes seem to be difficult problems. It can be hard work and progress can be slow, erratic, and sometimes painful. It may not be the right time for you to talk just yet, or talking may make you feel worse at first.  Counselling can be both challenging and painful, which means commitment is required as we re-experience past difficulties or memories, and perhaps look at uncomfortable feelings.  The most important thing is what you feel able to cope with, and this will change over time. 

There are many kinds of talking therapies, and there is overlap between them. Therapists have different kinds of training, so their approaches and ways of working will vary.  You might want to see a therapist from a similar background or culture, or you might prefer a female or male therapist; although good therapists will not impose their values or prejudices on you. 

For information on my approach go to the ‘My Background and Training' webpage.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Is therapy different from talking to a friend, doctor, social worker or colleague?
Yes! It is important to have friends to talk to, and other professionals can be a source of support. However, counsellors have been trained to help you develop new or different perspectives on the ways in which you relate to your self, others and life in general, in order that you might engage with life and the many challenges it brings us in a way that is preferable to you.

How often do I have to go?
The most usual arrangement is for you to have one appointment at the same time each week. Some people need and /or want to go more frequently, but this is often a matter of affordability. Meeting less frequently is not usual, as both consistency and commitment to your therapy is usually a necessary prerequisite of a successful outcome.

How long can I expect therapy to last?
It largely depends upon what you are trying to achieve from it. The shortest forms of therapy would normally be for no less than 6 sessions, and would be quite focussed on a specific issue. Other forms of therapy may be initially structured over 20 sessions, right through to long-term open-ended therapy.

What is required of me?
It is important that you are in therapy for yourself, rather than to please someone else. It is fine to be unsure of it however, and to have a ‘wait and see’ approach. You should discuss this with the therapist as you meet with them.

How do I know when to finish?
Some forms of therapy are for set periods, and so the end date is established early on. It is sometimes possible however to continue beyond this point, and this can be discussed with your therapist nearer the time. With open-ended therapy, there always comes a point, and sometimes several points when ending arises as a topic for you to discuss in your session. It is an important thing to discuss, so as to establish whether you feel you have got to where you wanted to, or don’t want to go on, or wish to take a break. Your therapist will help you explore this.

Don’t only mentally ill people need counselling?
The notion of being mentally ill has many negative connotations in our society. In truth it is a subjective label, which probably isn’t very helpful. The mental health of each of us is as diverse as our physical state of health. Would you say you were unhealthy simply because you couldn’t run a marathon? Some people would, which is why it is subjective. In truth, counselling is a valid activity for anyone who wishes