I seem to have had a number of odd interactions with banks alately, and wanted to document them for posterity


Me: Here is the faxed authorisation you requested to give me access to an account
Bank: I'm sorry sir but we can't accept this fax it appears to be some sort of copy...
Bank: In any case the full account number and sort code haven't been written in the fax
Me: You don't think thats a bit of a security risk?


Me: I'm here to pick up my bank statements
Bank: Yes they arrived yesterday. I'm sorry but although you requested them, when they arrived we didn't know why we had them, so we shredded them.....


Me: I have called your branch telephone number 25 times in two days, you have never picked up
Bank: We are more of a face to face branch really....


Me: Can you call the city branch please to check this with them
Bank: Sorry there isn't a telephone number to call another branch
Me: I have it here, I got it from yellow pages
Bank: Sorry there isn't a telephone number to call another branch


Bank: Do you want this on headed notepaper?
Me: Why?
Bank: It prevents fraud
Me: The banks logo prevents fraud?
Bank: Yes, people know its genuine then....


Bank: We need 3 months bank statements
Me: But you already have them?
Bank: Ah yes, but those have been archived
Me: So can't you get them back out again?
Bank: No
Me: Its not really an archive is it...