The Story of Jesus You May or May Not Have Heard

About 2000 years ago a kid was born in a little shack on the outskirts of Bethlehem into a messed up world full of gang-bangers, corrupt politicians, and a whole lotta other messed up stuff.  Little did anyone know, except for his moms and pops and a few "wise men" that the kid was going to grow up and flip the whole world upside down.  Kinda like when the Fresh Prince got shipped outta south Philly to Bel Air.  So anyhow as the story goes Mary and Joseph, A.K.A moms and pops, named the baby boy Jesus. Growing up Jesus learned to wield a saw and a hammer like "Tim the tool man" and somewhere along the line people started to realize the kid had skiiiilllls. Dude could do it all. Walk on water, turn water into wine, feed 5,000 people with only a couple fish and a few loaves of bread. The best part was he claimed he was the son of God and that he had come to earth to save man from destruction.  Somewhere around the age of 30 Jesus decides to go on a little journey and pick up a few close peeps along the way, disciples he called them. And he tried to teach them everything he knew about living the good life. He taught them how to love God with everything in their being, and he taught them how to love other people no matter who they were or where they came from. Problem was, Jesus was a hardcore rebel. You see God's chosen people were expecting Rambo to come riding down from heaven in a tricked out Hummer with his sick nasty jungle knife and a ginormous M-16 assault rifle blazing a path for the Jews to finally get their due.  Instead Jesus comes riding in on one of those hippy Volkswagen buses with his tye dye t-shirt and flip-flops looking like Jack Johnson preaching peace and love and telling all the religious know-it-alls that they've been doing it all wrong. Then one day the government got wind of the rumors about the J-man and decided that enough was enough and that they couldn't have “some dude running around claiming he's the savior of all men and threatening their power.”

So what'd they do? Well they decided to beat him senseless, mock him and humiliate him, and then hang him up on a big ol' peace of splintered wood until he choked to death on the fluid from his own lungs. Nice guys huh?  But this is where the story gets kickin. This is where the J-man gets some serious redemption. It's kinda like when Neo gets all shot up in the Matrix and everybody thinks he's dead, then suddenly he comes flyin outta nowhere and does that crazy karate/tae kwon doe, I just beat you down with a hickory stick move, on the scary lookin agent.  Not three days after they buried him and wrote him off for dead, the J-dizzle rolled away the bazillion ton stone they put over his grave and shot up to heaven like a NASA shuttle. And here is my favorite part. He could have laid the smack down on any one of the clowns who messed with him but he didn't. He didn't because he had a mission in his life. A mission to save you and me and everyone else who has ever walked the streets.  Now because of what he did for us, because he died to save us all from the crap we've tried to pull in our lives, we don't have to live out this life scared of what's going to happen to us when we die. And he made it so simple. There ain't no fine print on this one folks. This isn't one of those sign up for 47 subscriptions to Netflix, Columbia House, or Vibe magazine and get yourself a brand new HDTV from Sony deals. This is a one time free gift offered to you by God himself. Accept my son Jesus, the J-man, J-Dizzle, J-money, and you can live a life full of joy that ends with a one way ticket to heaven baby, no strings attached. And believe me when I tell you there's not much in this life that's free, so this is priceless.  If you would like to make a commitment to Christ contact us or talk to someone you trust to help lead you in the right direction, you won't regret it.