The All-Worst St. Louis Rams Team

Chris Chandler: Sank the 2004 season with seven interceptions in a five-quarter stretch. His passes were stupid, inaccurate, sometimes both. Inexcusably bad performance from a 17-year veteran. Complete bust.
Steve Walsh: Reputation was as a smart QB, but he made dumb throws, and had the arm strength of Urkel.
Scott Covington: Career third-stringer got to start the 2002 finale, but was pulled after an utterly clueless first series. Sideline reporter Malcolm Briggs said that Covington looked back at the bench as if the play calls were in Japanese.

Lawrence Phillips: Single-handedly made character an important issue in the draft. Drafted high though he assaulted his former girlfriend at Nebraska. After the Rams drafted him, he spent a month in jail for drunken driving. Averaged a meager 3.4 yards a rush in about a season-and-a-half as a Ram. Was cut midway through his second season in St. Louis after getting arrested in Omaha for disorderly conduct.
Ironhead Heyward: The now-departed Ironhead's biggest accomplishment in St. Louis was getting a national TV commercial for Zest.
Jerald Moore: Started 1998 season opener and lost game with two big fumbles. Seemed incapable of gaining more than two yards on plays when he did hold on to the ball.
Trung Canidate: The first draft pick under Mike Martz, a real head-scratcher since the Rams already had Marshall Faulk at his peak. Trung made some sparkling plays and ran for nearly 200 yards against the Jets in 2001, but was hurt a lot and was justifiably traded off the roster for continued fumbling problems.
June Henley: A slower, less-talented version of Arlen Harris, Henley led the team in 1998 with a not-exactly-dominating 313 yards on 3.6 yards a rush. Three QBs ran for more yards that year (Steve McNair, Steve Young, Kordell Stewart). So did Charles Way, Harvey Williams, Darick Holmes and Donnell Bennett. Remember them? Henley's biggest attribute was that Dick Vermeil really, really, really, really, really liked him.
Richard Owens (fullback): Replaced incumbent FB Madison Hedgecock in 2007, mainly because he had played for head coach Scott Linehan in Minnesota. While Hedgecock went on to blow open holes for, and receive a large contract from, the NFC champion New York Giants, Owens, who couldn't block, catch, or run, mostly stayed off the field because he proved unreliable in short-yardage situations, an area the Rams failed at miserably most of the 2007 season.

Drew Bennett: It takes doing to surpass Dwayne "The Road Grader" White as the worst free agent signing in Rams history. And Drew Bennett has done it. (See below)
Terrence Wilkins: Free agent signed in 2002, expected to fill Az Hakim's shoes but instead proved incapable of learning the team's playbook, contributing five lousy catches for 31 lousy yards. And one or two of those were shovel passes.
Eddie Kennison: Collapsed after a good rookie season. Couldn't get open and balls routinely bounced off his hands or clanged off his chest.
Troy Edwards: Terrence Wilkins' partner in failure. Also acquired in 2002, for a draft pick. Caught just 18 balls and continued career pattern of not getting along with coaches.

Jason Brown:

Anthony Hargrove: Too infatuated by his workout to realize Shaun Phillips, Nathan Vasher and Jared Allen were still on the board, the Rams used their third-round pick in 2004 on Hargrove, even though he hadn't even PLAYED his senior year in college for academic reasons. Hargrove never proved enough of a threat to discourage game-long double-teams against Leonard Little. And with a new coaching staff aboard in 2006, how did Anthony decide to make an impression? How about skipping a day of practice after spending all night at a casino? That coupled with Anthony's whole one-half-sack for the season made him very expendable, and the Rams traded him to Buffalo. 16 weeks into the '06 season, Hargrove had 9 career sacks, Phillips has 22.5, Allen has 27.5. Great pick!
James Harris: Cut by Rams in '97 after being indicted as the money man in a cocaine trafficking ring. Had been found guilty of beating his wife the year before. Two sacks in one season as a Ram.

Jimmy Kennedy: The third DT selected by the Rams in the first round in a three year span and the most colossal failure. Kennedy barely made the field his first season, missed half the next season with a broken foot, and did very little the next two seasons before getting traded to Denver in 2007 for a paltry SIXTH-round pick. Wouldn't play the position the way the coaches told him to, and he served as the anchor, no, iceberg, for one the worst run defenses ever. A nice guy, to be sure, but we know what happens to nice guys sometimes. They get pancaked by Kyle Turley despite a 50-pound weight advantage.
Jimmie Jones: The human offsides penalty.
Damione Lewis: High 2001 draft pick who made almost no impact, while the Ram run defense slid into the depths of the NFL rankings. His biggest "impact" play was a 2005 nutshot to Saints C LeCharles Bentley that got him thrown out of the game. Not strangely, the Ram defense played much better the rest of the day.

Hmm, D-Lew, Jimmie Jones, Cleveland Gary, Steve Walsh... maybe the Rams ought to stay the hell away from Miami Hurricanes. Or at least DT's named James or any variation.

Jamie Duncan: High-priced LB from Tampa Bay who did nothing here. His presence in the run defense was only a rumor.
Robert Jones: High-priced LB from Dallas who did nothing here. His signing made the Rams the butt of jokes around the league.
Robert Thomas: First-round draft pick from UCLA who did nothing here. 2004's run defense had to be one of the worst ever. Thomas was frequently injured on top of being mediocre.
Eric Hill: Free agent LB from the Big Dead who (surprise!) did nothing here. Yet another free agent failure.
Chris Claiborne: Free agent LB from Detroit who. Did. Nothing. Here! Brought in to stop the run, but exposed as a poor pass defender. Opponents therefore constantly went to 3-receiver formations, forcing the Rams to take Claiborne off the field, and then ran out of the formation for huge gains.

Justin King:
Taje Allen: Decent special teams player but complete joke at cornerback, routinely getting burned by 4th- and 5th-string WRs playing their first career game or making their first career catch.
Jacoby Shepherd: Charlie Armey's dumbest draft pick. Couldn't cover anybody and never seemed to know what he was doing. Horrible against the run.
Travis Fisher: The constantly-injured Fisher, who missed 21 games his last three seasons, never proved worthy of the surprisingly-high 2nd-round draft pick the Rams used on him in 2002. Blinded by their stopwatches, the Rams missed that Fisher couldn't tackle worth a whit. His complete whiff on an essentially stationary Damon Huard while blitzing in a 2006 loss to the Chiefs may have been the worst tackle ever. One of the least physical CBs around, Fisher was routinely run over or dragged by larger receivers. He could cover a little, as long as your name wasn't DJ Freaking Hackett.
Ryan McNeil: Though a perennial Pro Bowler and future Hall-of-Famer (said his agent), he had a whole one INT for the Rams in 1998 after leading the league with 9 in 1997.

Rich Coady: Always poor against the run and catalyzed the Rams' defensive collapse in 2004 by repeatedly blowing coverage assignments.
Jason Sehorn: Played more like a male model than a football player. Horrible play in 2003 playoff against Carolina sealed the Rams' fate.
Michael Hawthorne: One of several former safeties under Larry Marmie at Arizona who came to St. Louis and flopped as miserably as Marmie himself. In big loss in the Meadowlands in '05, when Hawthorne wasn't standing around doing nothing, he was riding Tiki Barber into the end zone or losing the ball in the sun to give up a TD.
Mike Furrey: Converted WR could intercept passes but was an absolute disaster against the run. His swinging-at-a-pinata-like whiffs and frequent inability to take a proper angle turned too many just-good runs into long TD runs. Cut after the 2005 season, Furrey rejoined Mike Martz in Detroit, returned to WR, and led the NFC in receptions with 98.

Kicker - Steve McLaughlin: Third-round pick in the first St. Louis Rams draft. WHAT DO I SAY ABOUT DRAFTING KICKERS? Missed half his FGs (8-for-16). Cut his first season.
Punter - John Baker: Rams traded a draft pick to the Colts to get him. WHAT DO I SAY ABOUT THAT? One of many wildly-inconsistent Rams punters. Helped lose a home game to Carolina with an 8-yard punt.
Returner - Chris Johnson: Beats out Arlen Harris strictly on his legendary return that opened the 2005 season: he fielded a bouncing ball at the 1 and stepped out of bounds.

Head Coach - Scott Linehan: After leading the Rams to an 8-8 mark in his first season, Linehan turned in a dreadful 2007, as the Rams went 3-13 with a team-worst 0-8 start. And it got worse, as his players had pretty clearly quit on him in the first month of the 2008 season, which Linehan started 0-4 before being mercifully added to the rank of former Rams head coaches. Instead of keeping the dynamic Ram offense running, Linehan guided it to the bottom of the league. His roster management was questionable. At times Linehan would carry as many as FOUR tight ends AND a couple of fullbacks, while rarely throwing to any of them and relying on single- back sets on critical short-yardage downs. His personnel evaluation was just as bad; Linehan pushed for the disastrous free-agent signing of Drew Bennett and was behind such brilliant draft choices as Joe Klopfenstein, Dominique Byrd and Brian Leonard: three more picks in the first three rounds wasted on untalented tight ends and fullbacks. The offense was a disaster in the red zone and the starters famously scored ONE touchdown in THREE preseasons under Linehan. For special teams, Linehan hired a buddy who was coming off a winless season as a head coach. IN HIGH SCHOOL. By the end of 2007, the offense's veterans all but revolted on him, and (Rams) fans abandoned the Dome in droves. The 2008 season saw the team establish historic lows on both sides of the ball and turn in a franchise-worst 2-14 record, finishing the season under Jim Haslett with a franchise-worst ten-game losing streak and a series of humiliating losses. Linehan's biggest accomplishment was the draft-day trade for punter Donnie Jones. Beyond that, he'll be remembered for poor leadership, stripping the creativity from a once-great offense, stripping any resemblance of motivation from his players, and winning two fewer games in two-plus seasons than Rich Brooks. Linehan is counting on Steve Spagnuolo to save him from becoming the coach who killed pro football in St. Louis.
Offensive Coordinator - Josh McDaniels:
Defensive Coordinator - Larry Marmie: Ram defense completely collapsed under him, failing miserably at stopping the run, rushing the passer, covering receivers and forcing turnovers. An utter disaster who was poor at his previous stop (Arizona) and NEVER should have been re-hired as a DC, MARTZ.
Special Teams - Bobby April: Had longer (three years) than anybody under Martz to "fix" special teams, and they were pathetic his entire term. Sure, Martz de-emphasized special teams and went through ST coaches like J-Lo goes through husbands, but three years ought to be long enough for anybody.

Kyle Turley: Ram fans thought it was a major steal when the team traded a 2nd-rounder for Turley in 2003. Instead, they got a major asshole and vastly overrated offensive tackle who was only intimidating when (allegedly) threatening to kill Mike Martz.
Chris Miller: Capable QB whose career was wrecked by concussions. Seemed to get one every week.

Joe Germaine: Never recovered from being chewed out by Mike Martz during a preseason game.
Andy King: Allowed four sacks to somebody named N.D. Kalu in loss to Eagles in 2002.
Rodney Williams: Lousy preseason punter who once trash-talked after making the tackle on a punt, ignoring the fact that his poor punt was the reason he had to make the tackle.
Chuck Osborne, Jon Kirksey: Two big, fat DTs who Dick Vermeil insisted one training camp were going to become great players, to the point that the Sports Illustrated 1997 NFL Preview named Kirksey the Rams' "Player To Watch." Neither made the team.
Keith Loneker: Had a big tattoo of the Gateway Arch put on his leg in honor of the team's first season here, then was cut shortly afterward.
Jason Shivers: Fifth-round pick in 2004 described as a "steal" by Mel Kiper. Looked terrible in 2004 preseason and did not make active roster. Eventually claimed off the Rams' practice squad.
John David Washington: There's little doubt that Washington held a practice-squad position in 2006 and 2007 as a pretense for late owner Georgia Frontiere to invite his father, 2-time Oscar winner Denzel Washington, to games. JD's never had a regular-season carry, and after peaking with a 4-15 performance in his first preseason game against the Colts, has rushed for only three yards on eight carries in seven preseason games.

Brenda Warner started out as the better (though somewhat tackily-dressed) half of Kurt Warner's feel-good story, but completely and unnecessarily wore out her welcome by picking a public argument with Mike Martz in 2002. She claimed she had asked the Rams to get Kurt's injured throwing hand x-rayed; Martz claimed he did. Brenda, who used the term "we" a lot in referring to her husband's football career, then basically demanded Kurt be traded rather than stay on the bench behind Marc Bulger. The media confrontation is considered by many to be the spark that led to Kurt (and Brenda) being cut by Martz after the 2003 season, and many fans still don't forgive the team for cutting one of its all-time favorite players.