Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day? Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day? Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )? Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day? Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming? Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
Have a Nice Day.
HR = HIGH RISK
Shall V Go For A Coffee
A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
"The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
"The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
"The same goes for life. "If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
"Take time to get medical checkups.
"Take your partner out to dinner.
"Play another 18.
"There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
"Set your priorities.
"The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a cup of coffee with a friend."
Where am I ?
I am <someone> from <some company> , searching for a guy named <someone> he is a trainee at <some company> i couldnt find him.. his nick name is <Nickname>... so kindly inform me whn anyone finds him.... pls pass it on the message to every one u know...... thks for helping me.....
Letter To Dad
Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelopepropped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed
"Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home.I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the pas sion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway,42 isn'tsoold these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship,don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and hasa stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how t o take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour'shouse.I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.
Someone Loves You
When Your feeling alone like no one cares read this cuz its absolutely true:
Every night , someone thinks about you before they go to sleep,
At least fifteen people in this world love you.
The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you
There are at least two people in this world that would die for you
You mean the world to someone. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.
Always remember the compliments you've received.
Forget the rude remarks.
So if you are a loving friend, send this to everyone on your list
Live With Them
In a day, when you don't come across any problems - you can be sure that you are travelling in a wrong path - Swami Vivekananda
3 Sentences for getting success
a) Know more than others
b) Work more than others
c) Expect less that others
- William Shakespeare
If you win you need not explain... But if you lose you should not be there to explain - Adolph Hitler
Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself - Alen Strike
If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love GOD, whom we cannot see? - Mother Theresa
No man is rich enough to buy his past - Oscar Wilde
If you want real peace don't talk to your friends, talk to your enemies - Mother Theresa
Winning doesn't always mean being first, winning means you're doing better that you've done before - Bonnie Blair
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself - Leo Tolstoy
I will not say I failed 1000 times, I will say that I discovered there are 1000 ways that can cause failure - Thomas Edison
Believing everybody is dangerous, believing nobody is very dangerous - Abraham Lincon
Love your job nut never fall in love with your company beacause you never knew when it stops loving you - Abdul Kalam
If someone feels that they had never made a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life - Einstein
Never break four things in your life TRUST, PROMISE, RELATION, HEART because when they break they don't make noise but pains a lot - Charles
If you start judging people you will be having no time to love them - Mother Theresa
Winners don't do different things: They do things differently - Shiv Kera