Hello,

We're glad you found us!  We created this site to warn others about choosing Pacific Oaks Vineyard Estate for their wedding. This warning is based on our  experience with the site (specifically with the owners, the Thibodeaus, and the required wedding coordinator, Mary Lou Sanders of Weddings By the Shore).  We cannot stress enough how bad the experience of working with Mary Lou and the Thibodeaus was, and we discourage anyone from having their ceremony at Pacific Oaks.

The following is a recap of our experience:

1. When we originally met with Mary Lou Sanders, she quoted us estimates for vendors. Our decision to go with Pacific Oaks was based on Mary Lou's numbers.  After we signed the contract, she consistently provided us with quotes 50-100% higher than her original quotes.  As examples:

• Shuttle: Mary Lou first mentioned that a shuttle/limo service to the estate would cost no more than $800.  In reality, the cheapest limo service charged on the order of $1500.  A cheaper van service was found but it was far below any wedding standard (it was like an airport shuttle van).
• Tent: Mary Lou quoted us $600 for the tent.  In reality, the deposit alone was $500 and the total was ~$1,100.  Incidentally, this was for a tent not large enough for all our guests.
• Caterer: Mary Lou quoted us $35-$50/person (inclusive of tax and tip).  The first three quotes she received were all significantly higher than that.  The caterer she initially recommended we go with charged $105/person.  She then found us someone who was cheaper (although we never saw a quote).  Ultimately, we were the ones who found the caterer- at $65/person.
  
• Florist: Mary Lou quoted us $800.  She had us meet with a florist whose quote was ~$1,200.  We trimmed down our requests significantly (no flowers on the cake table or the guest book table) to get the quote down to $850.  Mary Lou also set us up (at our insistnace) with another florist who was much cheaper if we did almost everything ourselves or about the same price as the more expensive florist if we wanted her to do the work.

2. Mary Lou was consistently late in meeting us, returning telephone calls, or otherwise responding to us.  As a matter of fact, in the last 2 days before the wedding she would not respond to our phone calls or emails (actually, she did respond once - during our rehearsal dinner - at a time she knew we would be unavailable to talk).

3.  Mary Lou set us up with one tasting (before our insistance that we taste another caterer's food).  Before the tasting, we received a quote which was higher than the $50/person that Mary Lou quoted us.  When we pointed this out, Mary Lou said that it was her job to get the price down.  After our tasting, Mary Lou asked for our impressions.  We told her that the food was "okay" and, at her request, sent her a detailed email describing what we thought about the food.  After the tasting, we received a revised bid which was HIGHER  than the original bid (had Mary Lou spoken to the caterer about lowering the cost, why did it now go up by over 50%?)!  After all this, Mary Lou sent us an email RECOMMENDINGthat we go with this caterer even though she charged OVER TWICE our budgeted amount and even though we told Mary Lou that the food was just okay (Mary Lou's reaction to our comment that the food was okay was that we should "love it").  When we asked Mary Lou why she recommends we go with this caterer, she became defensive and incoherent (Mary Lou was often incoherent).

4. Mary Lou provided us with one florist whose quote was 50% higher than our budget.  It was only later, at our insistance again, that she sent us to 2 more florists (though she told us up front that one of them was not very good (but inexpensive) and that we would not like them).  Mary Lou touted this florist as being "artistic".  She also said that the florist would add a splash of color to the display.  Lastly, when we pointed out that we did not want the flowers at eye level, Mary Lou said that the florist was a professional and that the flowers would not be at eye level.

In reality, the centerpieces were at eye level (at least half the tables ending up taking the centerpieces down so that the guests could see each other).  There was no "splash of color"- the centerpieces were simply put on the ivory tablecloths with nothing underneath/around them.  There was also nothing artistic about the centerpieces- they were simply bunches of flowers (no greens) put in a vase with a ribbon glued to the vase.

5.  We asked Mary Lou a couple of times about putting the table names (we had names instead of numbers) in the centerpieces.  We wanted to make sure the florist (or Mary Lou) would provide us with a way to display the table name.  Neither Mary Lou nor the florist provided us with this and the table names were layed flat on the table- not visible to our guests unless they walked around the tables.

6. Both the quotes for the shuttle and the tent were not made available to us in a timely fashion.  In fact, we never saw the quotes for the shuttles and we saw only one quote for the tent.  Again, this quote was for a tent not large enough to  accomodate our guests.

7. Mary Lou provided us with one quote for the limos.  When we asked her for another quote, she said that she did not "think" she could find anything cheaper so she wasn't even going to look. We found a cheaper quote ourselves by simply doing a Google search.

8. On our wedding day, Mary Lou was not present when the caterer arrived. As a matter of fact she showed up about one hour late.

9. Mary Lou did not provide the caterer with the correct timeline or floorplan.  The caterer came to the bride for that information.

10. A few weeks before the wedding, Judy called us to reprimand us that we weren't going with Mary Lou's suggestions.  We explained that Mary Lou had only provided us with one caterer, one florist, and one baker.  We also explained that all the quotes were 50%-100% higher than Mary Lou originally quoted us. Judy defended Mary Lou and became angry with us (so much so that she raised her voice).  We consider this HIGHLY UNPROFFESIONAL.  In all fairness, after finding out that Judy had called us and reprimanded us, Mary Lou said that Judy should not have done that.  She apologized (Judy never apologized) and said that we should agree to speak directly to each other- and not through Judy (however, it was Mary Lou that asked Judy to call us in the first place).  However, on our wedding day, Mary Lou made no attempt to settler her own matters herself.

11. During the wedding, Judy was present almost throughout.  She and her husband came out and watched our ceremony (we find this HIGHLY UNPROFRESSIONAL as well).  She was grossly underdressed for the event.

12. On our wedding day, Mary Lou was underdressed.  SEVERAL of our guests commented to us about this. 

13. During the cermony, Judy made our guests feel unwelcome. SEVERAL of our guests commented that Judy spoke to them rudely.  

14. Although Mary Lou assured us that nobody would "kick us out" (she actualy reiterated this to us), Judy did in fact kick us out in essence.  She approached the bride's brother (who was also the DJ) and told him to play the last song (without consulting the bride and groom).  Several of our guests also mentioned to us that Judy was "shooing" them towards the limos.

15. Although, we asked Mary Lou multiple times to place the balloons on the road leading up to the wedding site, Mary Lou did not do this.  Our family and one of the limos, as a result, got lost.

16. Mary Lou did not place the disposable cameras  on the tables.  It was only when we told her they were missing, that she did so.

17. Even though Mary Lou said that she would have the ketubah on display, it was not.

18. There were not enough umbrellas to keep our guests shaded.  It was Mary Lou's job to let us know how many umbrellas we would need.

19. During the final walk-through, Mary Lou showed us where she wanted to put the placecard table.  Even though we specifically told her that we did NOT want it there (and she promised that it wouldn't be there), she kept it in that place.

20. At the end of the wedding, Dr. Thibodeau shoved Jonathan, Judy blocked the exit, and Mary Lou so much as admitted to providing us with an invoice which contained errors. Read more about this here