All I Have To Be                 written by Misty Stanley

     A defining moment is one of those moments that when it hits you - you finally get it.  As I look back on my 40 years (yikes) of life I remember many "ah-ha" moments. With those large and small moments right in your face they let you know who you are. I have found that the smallest and most trivial moments tend to be the most important and life changing. I remember one small moment that changed entirely the way I looked at myself. 

     Through my crazy, mixed up teen years and the beginning of my married life, I struggled with who God wanted me to be.  I know everyone has been through this, so you know what I am talking about. Oh sure I was a christian and I wanted to follow God. I just wasn't sure which path God wanted me to follow.  It became a daily struggle for me. I began to look at all the christian role models before me and try to mimic them. Which I don't think this is entirely a bad thing. Except I was forgetting one important fact. God did not make us all the same. We are not all alike.  How could I possibly think I could act like someone else and be me. I think we should be inspired by others as long as you don't lose ourself in the process. Besides trying to be someone else just wasn't working for me. 

     Contemporary Christian music, at the time, was a new concept for me. Don't get me wrong I love hymns, but this new music was huge for me. Music I could relate to. It was amazing. One of my favorite artists was Amy Grant.  Her music touched me and inspired me on a whole new level. I know she is looked down on now due to her divorce and remarriage. At this point of my life I connected deeply by these songs. I had just bought one of her earlier works. (It was a cassette tape by the way) I heard this one particular song and flashing Christmas lights that twinkle to music went off in my head. I get it. I really said that out loud, " I get it". The song was "All I Have To Be."  The lyrics are as follows:

All I Have To Be

When the weight of all my dreams is resting heavy on my head

and the thoughtful words of help and hope

have all been nicely said.

I'm still hurting wondering if I'll ever be the one

I think I am. I think I am.

As you daily re-remind me that you made me from the first.

The more I try to be the best, the more I get the worst.

I realize the good in me is only there because of who you are.

Who you are.

All I ever have to be is what you made me.

Any more or less would be a step out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me help me always keep in mind

that I only have to do what I can find.

And all I ever have to be - All I have to be

All I ever have to be is what you made me.

                                                    words and music by Amy Grant

God made each of us special and different, unlike everyone else. He would never want us to be exactly alike. What God wants from each one of us has always been inside each and every one of us.  So look inside yourself, you really know who God wants you to be. 

written by Misty Stanley