February 14th, 2010; 11:59 PM After taking a nice big poop after work tonight I noticed an intriguing irregularity when I stood up to flush. Floating on the surface of the toilet was the shell of a shrimp tail. Perfectly intact, but the insides were clearly eaten out. What had happened? Most people may assume that my roommate was eating shrimp, and he may have decided to dispose of the shell in the toilet and failed to flush; I however, prefer to speculate upon more interesting situations. The only way the shrimp tail shell could have gotten in there was because I pooped it out, then again more sinister forces may have been involved. Now, if I pooped out the shell I would generally be amused by such a feat, however I had not eaten shrimp in about a week. So I may have had that discarded piece of shellfish stuck in my gut for quite some time - in a gentle spot of by digestive system, as it remained intact. The only other way said foreign object landed in our porcelain pool is as follows: I either sleepcooked some shrimp, ate them and left the evacuated shells in the can, or I went out for some drinks, was given a roofie by a rich middle-aged woman who had self-esteem issues because she had a childhood crush on former president Gerald Ford, and thus could not find regular consensual relations; she liked younger men, and she thought my red hair was “sexy,” so she slipped the pill in my scotch, dragged me to her Upper West Side apartment, made love to me and fed me shrimp cocktail, and because I was drugged I forgot the incident, hence the surprise when I pooped out a full shrimp tail shell, which is still a feat in itself, as it was whole. My, what a mad place this world can be. January 3rd, 2010; 12.53 AM Wow it's a bit odd not adding "00" after the 2 in the year thingy. Anyways, here is a tale of romance, I'd love to see how it plays out:  November 24th, 2009; 3:11 PM Posted Sale Amour/Terre Sainte draft under Prose. Not my best, but it does contain full frontal nudity. November 23rd, 2009; 11:24 PM New Posterboy Stuff? 
 I happened to notice these posters on the corner of Flushing & Central in Bushwick. Not a very highly trafficked location (despite being right by the Wreck Room and Life Cafe). Also, it's hard to notice, since most people walking down that block are occupied with the harrowing crossing of Flushing Ave, most people drive recklessly through that intersection, especially the cops.... but I'm getting off point here. I have no idea how long this has been up, because it is such an unnoticeable spot, but it's quite some nice and tasteless work – let's hope this sticks around for a bit, it should generate some buzz (also note sticker-like thingy in top left corner of leftern picture). Also, I hope to have a new story up soon. Also, also, I do realize this is my first conventional news-like update since I've been half-assing it with this site. November 22nd, 2009 12:56 PM I don’t like the Peruvian Flute playing street performers in the city. Constantly playing tacky McDonalds New Age bullshit over bland pre-recorded accompanying music at high volumes is no way to greet a hangover victim as they exit the subway (specifically 49th & 7th). His neatly stacked CD’s sat in front of him, untouched while his massive PA blasted his hypothetically soothing sounds at an abrasive volume, annoying everyone within a two block radius. Who supports this art? Do these people get up everyday realizing they are going to work hard to try to make money selling crap? Useless tacky musical crap? Unlike some other street vendors, it even lacks ironic value. Now I feel bad for the guy. Maybe I’ll buy and album to give him a little hope in life. …then again, it may turn out he is more successful then me, and I’m just a music snob, and tourists are suckers. October 12th, 2009 5:17 PM I just watched the 1979 film "Being There" with Peter Sellers. It's like the film version of Sarah Palin. She (and/or her ghostwriter, but I should not speculate) could have called Going Rogue The Re-Novelization of Being There. October 11th, 2009 12:36 PM Well, here's an example of odd web design. Let's see if people are interested in reading nonsensical updates from my main page? I wish I had something relevant or insightful to say now, but no. This just plain sucks. And here I am attempting to show off my writing. August 22nd, 2009 3:18 PM Check out my real 100% non-fictional travel blog under The Other section. August 6th, 2009 6:45 PM Yeeeeeees. August 6th, 2009 6:28 PM A little more picture stuff for your enjoyment, new stories & fixed storied to pop up soon-ish.  August 4th, 2009 5:11 AM This is Spooky, a.k.a. Spook-a-Duke, I can't properly rotate the image, but this is Alexander Graham Bell's great-great-grand nephew's cat. She is well accomplished. She is currently working on her doctorate thesis entitled "Microfinancing in Northern Africa Amongst Pre-Teen Girls with Shoe Fetishes". Supposedly she interviewed Kofi Annan. Go Spooky! Get that fellowship!  August 4th, 2009 1:00 AM Do I look like a hipster on my homepage? I hope not, I try to avoid that stigma. I'm just kinda nuts. |
