Final Draft: Accepted? Oy vay! It is that time of the year, applications, visiting schools, and stress. The Gatekeepers, written by Jacques Steinberg, follows the activities of a well respected university and the standard by which it accepts students to its school. There are several mechanical and philosophical differences between Wesleyan and other hard-to-get into universities. Beyond the basic requirements of five academic solids each semester, excellent grades, several successful leadership activities and high SAT scores what any college may require can vary from year to year and can even vary from month to month and week to week. There are the “slam dunk” acceptance applications. However, since most student applications don’t fall into the “sure thing” category, the most interesting information in The Gatekeepers is the understanding of the way Wesleyan chooses those students who are on the borderline or aren’t the most outstanding in their high school class. There are several special conditions that help students gain acceptance to Wesleyan. Applying early is advantageous as “the odds of getting into a particular college were higher during the early-decision round than the main round” (Steinberg 105). Since this is the case with Wesleyan, it might be the case with other high level universities as well, and worth the effort to meet that early deadline. If a student is accepted during the early deadline round it precludes any negotiations later. Also, there is the advantage of having a parent or relative that graduated from Wesleyan, "At least statistically, a legacy was nearly twice as likely to be admitted as someone who had no prior connection to Wesleyan” (Steinberg 99). This would be a significant opportunity for those students who might be borderline. If an applicant is related to a Wesleyan graduate and applies during the early round of decision making, the chances would be quite good that the student would be accepted. At the very least, the chances are much better than the run of the mill applicant who is not related to an alumni. The minority factor can also positively influence admissions officers. The predominant attitude, that impacts the decision making process, is "that while black students had surely benefited from access to such institutions, their white classmates had also benefited from having minorities on campus” (How Stuff Works). The considerations for minority student acceptance vary; however, there is no substitute for the richness of a racially mixed campus. Knowing this, universities search for outstanding minority students and will bend standards a little to make sure they apply and are accepted. Each school depends on the experiences and insights of its admission’s officers to make the difficult choices and these experiences can be widely divergent. After the first admittance round students the remaining students are selected in a subjective manner. “So, we literally sit around a table and talk about—often in great detail—all students in the large middle of the pool, and anyone, regardless of qualifications, who an admissions officer thinks out to be discussed” (How Stuff Works). Obviously, it is extremely difficult to anticipate what might catch the interest of any of the admissions officers or what areas the university will decide. So, it is important to understand that for Wesleyan, “The first thing we look at is your transcript,’ Ralph said. We’re looking at the rigor of your curriculum” (Steinberg 77). The difficulty factor in the classes a student takes is more important than the grade received. Once an applicant makes the cut with acceptable curriculum and grades the choices become a matter of negotiation between officers. Applicants are compared against fellow applicants and it is impossible to know what any specific student needs to win high ratings. Students receive “an academic rating, a personal rating and an overall rating” (Steinberg 95). The expansive rating determines if a student is accepted or not. And even then the determination could be changed because “Wesleyan sometimes stretched to admit a student of color with low SAT scores or were likewise broadened to admit a badly needed linebacker” (Steinberg 71). These lower SAT scores would have to be offset by similarly high SAT scores in order to keep the Wesleyan SAT score average as high as possible. In the face of so much uncertainty, the best conclusion is for a student to follow their interests; try to do their best in any of their endeavors and know that for the most part they will not be able to control the college admissions process. The Gatekeepers does not affect my admissions process for college since the college I am applying to accepts everyone. I am thinking of attending Utah Valley University, it is located in Orem, Utah. Since my sister lives in Orem, and attends UVU, I thought it would be the perfect place to begin my college career. Utah Valley doubles as a University and a community college, so I may decide to stay there for a four year degree or transfer after I receive my Associate’s degree. I am also applying to CSU Long Beach which, along with El Camino Community College, is a fallback plan in case my parents don’t feel it necessary for me to attend a school as expensive as UVU.
Works Cited Steinberg, Jaques. Gatekeepers. Penguin Books: New York, 1991. Second Draft/ Teacher Edited: Accepted? Oy vay! It is that time of the year, applications, visiting schools, and stress. The Gatekeepers, a novel -THIS IS NON-FICTION; THEREFORE IT IS NOT A NOVEL. - Docraygen 10/2/08 10:23 PMby Jacques Steinberg, follows the activities of a well respected university and the standard by which it accepts students to its school. There are several mechanical and philosophical differences between Wesleyan and other hard-to-get into universities. Beyond the basic requirements of five academic solids each semester, excellent grades, several successful leadership activities and high SAT scores what any college may require can vary from year to year and can even vary from month to month and week to week. There are the “slam dunk” acceptance applications. However, since most student applications don’t fall into the “sure thing” category, the most interesting information in The Gatekeepers is the understanding of the way Wesleyan chooses those students that - WHO -Docraygen 10/2/08 10:24 PMare on the borderline or aren’t the most outstanding in their high school class. INTERESTING THESIS -Docraygen 10/2/08 10:25 PM There are several special conditions that help students gain acceptance to Wesleyan. Applying early is advantageous as “the odds of getting into a particular college were higher during the early-decision round than the main round” (Steinberg 105). Since this is the case with Wesleyan, it might be the case with other high level universities as well, and worth the effort to meet that early deadline. If a student is accepted during the early deadline round it precludes any negotiations later. Also, there is the advantage of having a parent or relative that graduated from Wesleyan, "At least statistically, a legacy was nearly twice as likely to be admitted as someone who had no prior connection to Wesleyan” (Steinberg 99). This would be a significant opportunity for those students who might be borderline. If an applicant is related to a Wesleyan graduate and applies during the early round of decision making, the chances would be quite good that the student would be accepted. At the very least, the chances are much better than the run of the mill applicant who is not related to an alumni. GOOD WRITING -Docraygen 10/2/08 10:26 PM The minority factor can also positively influence admissions officers. The predominant attitude, that impacts the decision making process, is "that while black students had surely benefited from access to such institutions, their white classmates had also benefited from having minorities on campus” (How Stuff Works). The considerations for minority student acceptance vary; however, there is no substitute for the richness of a racially mixed campus. Knowing this, universities search for outstanding minority students and will bend standards a little to make sure they apply and are accepted. Each school depends on the experiences and insights of its admission’s officers to make the difficult choices and these experiences can be widely divergent. After the first admittance round students the remaining students are selected in a subjective manner. “So, we literally sit around a table and talk about—often in great detail—all students in the large middle of the pool, and anyone, regardless of qualifications, who an admissions officer thinks out to be discussed” (How Stuff Works). Obviously, it is extremely difficult to anticipate what might catch the interest of any of the admissions officers or what areas the university will decide. So, it is important to understand that for Wesleyan, “The first thing we look at is your transcript,’ Ralph said. We’re looking at the rigor of your curriculum” (Steinberg 77). The difficulty factor in the classes a student takes is more important than the grade received. Once an applicant makes the cut with acceptable curriculum and grades the choices become a matter of negotiation between officers. IT COMES DOWN TO PERSONALITIES -AND NOT EVEN YOURS -Docraygen 10/2/08 10:27 PM Applicants are compared against fellow applicants and it is impossible to know what any specific student needs to win high ratings. Students receive “an academic rating, a personal rating and an overall rating” (Steinberg 95). The determines if a student is accepted or not. And even then the determination could be changed because “Wesleyan sometimes stretched to admit a student of color with low SAT scores or were likewise broadened to admit a badly needed linebacker” (Steinberg 71). These lower SAT scores would have to be offset by similarly high SAT scores in order to keep the Wesleyan SAT score average as high as possible. In the face of so much uncertainty, the best conclusion is for a student to follow their interests; try to do their best in any of their endeavors and know that for the most part they will not be able to control the college admissions process. The Gatekeepers does not affect my admissions process for college since the college I am applying to accepts everyone. I am thinking of attending Utah Valley University, it is located in Orem, Utah. Since my sister lives in Orem, and attends UVU, I thought it would be the perfect place to begin my college career. Utah Valley doubles as a University and a community college, so I may decide to stay there for a four year degree or transfer after I receive my Associate’s degree. I am also applying to CSU Long Beach which, along with El Camino Community College, is a fallback plan in case my parents don’t feel it necessary for me to attend a school as expensive as UVU. GOOD WRITING. YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF WELL. wHAT IS MISSING IS YOUR WORKS CITED PAGE. THIS IS A MAJOR FLAW. YOU WOULD HAVE SCORED AN "A". GRADE 75/100 First Draft/Peer Edited: Accepted? Oy vay! (Remember to and an indent to the beginning of each new paragraph.) There are several special conditions that help students gain acceptance to Wesleyan. Applying early is advantageous as “the odds of getting into a particular college were higher during the early-decision round than the main round” (Author 105). Since this is the case with Wesleyan, it might be the case with other high level universities,(< no need for a comma) as well, and worth the effort to meet that early deadline. If a student is accepted during the early deadline round it precludes any negotiations later. Also, there is the advantage of having a parent or relative that graduated from Wesleyan, "At least statistically, a legacy was nearly twice as likely to be admitted as someone who had no prior connection to Wesleyan” (Author 99). This would be a significant opportunity for those students who might be borderline. If an applicant is related to a Wesleyan graduate and applies during the early round of decision making, the chances would be quite good that the student would be accepted. At the very least, the chances are much better than the run of the mill applicant. (<this sentence sounds basically like another version of the one before, so you don't really need it) (You could start another paragraph just on this subject>) The minority factor can also positively influence admissions officers. The predominant attitude, that impacts the decision making process, is "that while black students had surely benefited from access to such institutions, their white classmates had also benefited from having minorities on campus” (How Stuff Works). The considerations for minority student acceptance vary; however, there is no substitute for the richness of a racially mixed campus. Knowing this, universities(<lower case, it's not a title or name) search for outstanding minority students and will bend standards a little to make sure they apply and are accepted. Each school depends on the experiences and insights of its admission’s officers to make the difficult choices and these experiences can be widely divergent. After the first admittance round students the remaining students are selected in a subjective manner. “So, we literally sit around a table and talk about—often in great detail—all students in the large middle of the pool, and anyone, regardless of qualifications, who an admissions officer thinks out to be discussed” (How Stuff Works). Obviously, it is extremely difficult to anticipate what might catch the interest of any of the admissions officers or what areas the university will decide. So, it is important to understand that for Wesleyan, “The first thing we look at is your transcript,’ Ralph said. We’re looking at the rigor of your curriculum” (Author 77). The difficulty factor in the classes a student takes is more important than the grade received. Once an applicant makes the cut with acceptable curriculum and grades the choices become a matter of negotiation between officers. Applicants are compared against fellow applicants and it is impossible to know what any specific student needs to win high ratings. Students receive “an academic rating, a personal rating and an overall rating” (Author 95). The overall rating (<try using a different set of words, though it is only a quote, you are still repeating things, mix it up to make it sound smoother) determines if a student is accepted or not. And even then the determination could be changed because “Wesleyan sometimes stretched to admit a student of color with low SAT scores or were likewise broadened to admit a badly needed linebacker” (Author 71). These lower SAT scores would have to be offset by similarly high SAT scores in order to keep the Wesleyan SAT score average as high as possible. In the face of so much uncertainty, the best conclusion is for a student to follow their interests; try to do their best in any of their endeavors and know that for the most part they will not be able to control the college admissions process. The Gatekeepers does not affect my admissions process for college since the college I am applying to accepts everyone. I am thinking of attending Utah Valley University, it is located in Orem, Utah. Since my sister lives in Orem, and attends UVU, I thought it would be the perfect place to begin my college career. Utah Valley doubles as a University and a community college, so I may decide to stay there for a four year degree or transfer after I receive my Associate’s degree. I am also applying to CSU Long Beach which, along with El Camino Community College, is a fallback plan in case my parents don’t feel it necessary for me to attend a school as expensive as UVU. Need either one less or one more paragraph, remember he said standard five paragraphs are done and gone. Also, bibliography, or list of sources. And only two quotes from a website, you need five. I'd suggest adding one more body paragraph with three quotes from the web. Last note, I'm not sure it the last paragraph was meant to be in first person. I know that the prompt says, "How does this affect your admissions process" (or at least to that degree) but it also said it needed to be in an academic tone. I'm not sure, save this version, but also write another one but instead of saying "I" or "my sister" try things like: "If a person" or "if one was applying to", even "he or she may have a sister attending". But becasue I'm not quite sure myself, have this original one as backup if Gen says otherwise. |