In the middle of a lust

 

 

Part 1:

 

 In a sense it is always easier to watch another desire, rather than ones own. One is free to ask simple questions, and  demand easy solutions. One says then ‘ what do they want/, what are they after? One watches their actions, and looks for their desires.  More than that, in their actions, I their expressions, one feels, or beliefs one feels their passions. One thinks there desire is this.

Another desires are so very simple you see. So much impel than the glorious mess that are our own.

 

To b external o another’s essence, that is to be eternal to the sense that they re in the middle of their actions, and yet , to be able to share curiosity of one humanity, in those action, is a truly fine thing, We one looks on, feels something of the desire, an yet in a wrapped up feeling on knowing that desire is on the outside. More then that it is in watching others we fix ourselves.

I really mean this We do not learn our feelings but we certainly men to give then meaning in watching others act or feel. The power of a goods story or play I after al this learning. One sees where neatly wrapped up feelings, and their associated simples desires run to. What they are doing. Where they are going.  We learn not to desire, but rather we start to give names to our feelings, and starting hoping for the best.

 So much of desire is after all keeping ones figures very firmly crossed. We hope that it will all come out right. Tat his desire is the one we have seen others do, and the on we know so well (though watching others0. We hope so.

It usually is not.

 Or to be far more accurate – it usually is, but only kind of.

 It is not really it.

 Or its it only partially. Hardly at all.

We desire with tongues in cheek 9we know things are not as simple as we are ptendening0, an our figures cross.

We desire in the knowledge that there is always more than we are doing. Her of course language has a huge role to play. Language likes it labels. It want this complex whirl of desire to be simple. Just think of something and act on it. Say with it, and be done, it shrieks.

 And we listen.

 The other engine for synthetics is of course time. Time will demand we life here and now, and for this length, and do so even if our desire want o live many lives, in many world. It then imposes a world o causes and effect- a  certain snatch of a life upon us. Makes us real It drives our reality forward…

 Trouble is we are a bit other than time here. We still desire after many lives, and only enter this one, through the agency of others. We birth ourselves, and what we want in their gaze become another for ourselves.

That is we act as others watch, and in the gaze, as if we were another to ourselves. This action, in then in that gazing, support by others. The action is likely to lead somewhere (or we hope it does), a world changes, and the rich old desires were prone to, are drowned in the new life we read, Or better then are re-invoked in tee new rich desiring tapestry we find ourselves within. W desire anew or afresh in different here and now.

We then rethread the desire, and create new places to watch its hares start…

In short at ever point our desire places us in many universes. And yet as we are of the world, we watch the starting hares of breaks, the hares within which through the agency of theirs we become as another to ourselves (this is the real importance of what others think – we could not be ourselves without it). This start then allows us, to become s as another, to act, to move one. To invent ourselves in linear time, set in another gaze. And to start desiring in many times all over again, but this time from a new perspective.

 

Part 2’

However others also are a mystery to us. There motives you see. We demand them o be linear and simple. We look o their desire, and feel a unity (or hope there is one, so we are set through it0. And yet then in this hope, we are lost to something else. We hoe this desire, the one we think they have is in a simple story, a story where we can infer a big picture, and a linear time.

 We loo then I others for something straight forward. People ought to act of a reason, because if we do we can so easily inhabit that world they are in. We want them to be easy. We demand it.

 For ourselves things are not necessarily so easy. Oh we can always list half a dozen reasons. More importantly we can always find a posteri ad hoc reasons for the actions we have done. We whine or reasons. We use then perhaps to justify or better wrap up our action. Hey are our wise after then event, and allows us to understand how the rich world of desire we had felt, the living in many inverses, became caught in this single action. We claim that it was all about this anyway. We say we are different. We justify (and have an elaborate series of rules to justify with).

 On the other hand – them – they are different, they ought to have the kind of reasons we can infer in someway straight ways. They ought to, to keep our minds easy, and our actions simple. We have then all orts of reasons to be others (and sometimes apply to ourselves). We have reason hey know, and ones they cannot, feeling, labels, world I can share with others , as they navigate their worlds, ideas to think with and through – labels to have and the be. We are choc a bloc with reasons and their aspiration We are caught in rhythms and mazes of thought.

, we attribute t others.

 The linear world we are all thrown into-  the one with a little death and the begin and  big death at the end, becomes then the engine hw to find reasons. As another act are pitch necessarily that linear world, we squeeze hem into it – look for linear examination 9\t all childhood or innate evil or whatever). We loose sight of actually the richness of desire itself. it is as if we need o belief that hat simpler desire we see in others was the real one – was all hat matters, all that was real. We want to belief that so very badly you see.

We then demand  old where motives are findable-  and the desires we see in others are capped: a world or own desire will find easy to inhabit.

Or to put it another way, w turn hat starting a hare principle of the last part into  apriority principle. If moves, and we want the reasons for than move to be fixed. We want the linearity we are forced into to have a deep purpose a cause, akin to the world and look for others for it.

It I no wonder we are resentful when those others fail to give it.

 

Pat 3

 

IN all this maze, my own desire has a peculiar place. On the one hand  I pour what I am into the model of another I learning or conjuring myself in the way I am understanding others effects within me,. I take their actions, infer motive, emphasize with their desires, move on, and become ht  am, M own desires are made plain then in this all too public world – and made plain really to myself first and foremost. Without this plain it would b really rather tricky.

 We live then is the straighten mess others give us. We look to our had and hope there is a straightening happen. We hope then on a chance or a prayer We want something to resolve our own nature. We want that linearity we see or attribute to everyone else.

That is others we can allow to age and de: we can allow them their linear world. We can allow then what an externality located between those two deaths. We create it for them. Three are happier there. But survives. That little bit of the eternal always bothers us far to much. We feel lost. Not at home…Spinoza as much as Plato.

 So what do we do/

 We look to our mind to resolve itself as others. We look for linearity. We feel we ought be like those others in our heads, and attempt to position our desire according;/

The unity of  time set within a conscious (which is remittingly always us), becomes then a goal or a resolve position. A place one can feely locate desires within or relate to them

 

And yet, and yet of course the world is so much more messy then this. Our desires are everywhere. They want non-linear time or temporality They inhabit futures and pasts and do what they wan. They care not a fig about the world of causes that runs after them. They are a bother.  But thesis not the entire metier of being human to be a other? That is to be more than the simple? So too surely our essence must be…

 Or perhaps, it is what it is for us.

 We of course have the public desire, the one we share with others, the endless chatter. This is a linear world we make – full of simply desires and absolute motives: a world made as simple as we can. And yet of course a world full of endless strands, of other stories. each story is simple and yet there so man - : The public then reflects our desire – our ability to live in the many, and does but fracturing times into myriad stories.

Our desire will locate what it is across  all these tales, while pouring itself in the one(or knowing that as it is public it ought to only be of the one; or as I am in the one live and in public I ought to be one).

Others, and our endless exchange with them, our endless using them, creates as it were a texture, desires, complex in themselves, fall amongst many stories, are many different element in many voices and world: and yet are only in this may as each one of these stories are actually a single story (and care not for the sharing).

We fall then into a linear time each story, each being public we choose, and do be force, and necessarily, and do even if we are elsewhere in many tales…

To desire across tales in then to at once single in each one, and yet also in many tales, in many different ways.

A problem all the deeper, as the things we desire about tumble from that linear world in the first place. I might be an anomaly of many tales, and run back and forward in them – but I do so in the knowledge that I am always also resolved into the one. A fracture in many stories-  wanting so much, and yet only in the one time.

 

The monads deepest dilemma – how on lives in another- in the middle of something else.