News

September 14th, 2009

posted Sep 13, 2009 10:47 PM by Screwed Band



Music - I'm Designer (UNKLE Remix) by Queens of the Stone Age

     Hello all, it is time for another movie review. I was on my way to the theater today to see Inglourious Basterds, but I was too late to catch that, so I saw 9 instead. I'm going to try and break this down for you without ruining anything.



    First off, the CGI work was as good as it gets, the texture of the puppets skin or whatever they were made of looked damn near real. The characters themselves were all stereotypes (for good reason), but the actors that voiced them were all perfect choices I think. The directing I hate to say was only ok, it could of been much worse though. I'll cut Shane Acker a break though because this was his first full length movie. It was very short given today's standards, but it felt far too long. There were several points which feel as though the movie will end, but it doesn't, and the ending itself left a bit to be desired. The story was decent, nothing too special in this post Terminator and Matrix era.

    All in all I give it 8 1/2 out of 10. With today's ticket prices, you may want to wait for the DVD release, but hard core sci-fi and or visual effects fans will probably want to dish out the $8 for a ticket.

    Well now that that's out of the way I have some new art to show you. I have a few new pieces, but I think I'll just show you one for now. This is my gnome, I may use him in a short comic, if I ever finish writing it that is.


    Anyway that's all the blogging I have for you today, till next time.

-Daniel Taylor

Augest 26th, 2009

posted Aug 26, 2009 4:58 PM by Screwed Band



Music - Break Up (The OJ Song) by Murs

   Today I'll be breaking my normal format to provide you with a few tips on how to save money on your vices in this clearly anti-vice economy.

    1. Soda: I don't know about you guys but I love my fucking soda, and I love paying as little as possible for it. Unfortunately Publix brand soda is the cheapest around and it tastes like it. Lucky for you you can get a Double Gulp from 7/11 with any soda you want in it for $1.72, and if you save your cup you can get a refill for $1.06 or take your cup to RaceTrac and refill it with a larger variety of soda for only $0.85. Also a Double Gulp can hold 64oz which is 2oz away from being a full 2 liters.

    2. Cigarettes: Now I'm not much of a smoker but I am surrounded by them every day, so I picked up a few tricks on how to save money on them. First off 7/11 and privately owned convince stores have the most expensive cigarette prices, try BP, Hess, Mobil, and Chevron for cheaper prices. Secondly most people don't not smoke all of their cigarettes, so if you don't have a brand preference and you want to save money then I suggest sucking up your pride and combing through public ashtrays for unfinished cigarettes, if your germ-a-phobic them cut off the filter. Thirdly I suggest you get and electronic cigarette, I saw them at my local flea market for $30.00, and that included everything you need to last you a few months. You would only have to pay for refills that won't be effected by new cigarette taxes, and it's not going to give you cancer.

    3. Music: Well aside form illegally downloading it you could buy it from places like the iTunes store for a steep $0.99 per song, or perhaps you'd like something a little more free. Last FM is my personal favorite site for listing to music for free, but there are plenty of others out there like Pandora. Last FM basically records your listing habits, and after it has enough data it builds a station based on your tastes, it also recommends new music to you and shows you people with similar tastes as yours. It's kind of hard to explain but you should defiantly check it out for yourself.

    4. Movies: Well I'm sure you all know about Hulu by now so I'm not even going to cover it. What you may not know about is that your local Library carries DVDs that you can rent for free, Redbox is a cool idea but it's not free. It differs library to library but normally library cards are free, and you can use then to rent a DVD or VHS for about a week absolutely free unless you are late returning. Most library's do have poor selections, mostly black and white movies but if your in a bigger city then you can expect a much larger selection. My library for example carries Benjamin Button, and Tropic Thunder. So it's just the luck of the draw.

    Well that's it for now, I hope I helped you save some money, keep truckin' 'till the rescission is over.

-D.J. Taylor

August 17th, 2009

posted Aug 17, 2009 11:54 AM by Screwed Band



Music - Be My Dark Angel by Electric Six

    Ok I know I haven't updated in a long while so I will gift you with a review of District 9 and some new artwork. But first I need to beg everyone who is reading this to please hire me for any and all of your graphic art needs. I can design logos, add digital color to your drawings, manipulate photos to make people look more beautiful, you name it and I can do it for you. I'm the cheapest in town too, I promise. Take a look at my gallery on DA or the Art section on this site and you'll know who you want as your graphic artist.

    So now that that's out of the way, lets get to this review. To sum it up in one word, awesome. It only cost 30 million to make (very cheap for modern movies) and they spent damn near every penny on special effects. These aliens were beautifully rendered and real looking, the weapons were amazing. The star of the film has never acted in his life before this movie and he blew me away with his skills. The story was pretty simple and I'm sure Marvel Ruins had a similar plot, but seeing it on the big screen made up for it completely. I loved how it switched from documentary style to normal movie style, gave it a nice gritty feel that matched the films setting.

    All in all this is a 10 out of 10 film. Go see it right now and keep a close eye on everything else the Mr. Blomkamp touches from now on.

    And now for some new original art that I have draw and colored, enjoy.



    And a close up of the owl.



Well that's it for now, I hope you enjoyed everything. Until next time.

-D.J. Taylor


July 8th, 2009

posted Jul 8, 2009 8:32 PM by Screwed Band



Music - Take Off the Blues by The Foreign Exchange

    This shall be the most offensive post ever. Faggots suck major dick, lesbians suck too unless their having a threesome with me. Retards are stupid and should be killed at birth, same goes for people with deformities. I hate people that are not retarded but do very stupid things anyway, like Palin or Bush. I hate poor people asking me for money I can't afford to give away every time I stop at a red light. I hate being offered drugs I don't want every time I take a shortcut through a ghetto and fearing for my life if I refuse them. I hate not being able to smoke pot every once and a while when there are plenty of other legal drugs out there that mess up peoples lives a lot more then pot ever could. I hate that Michael Jackson got off and that everyone is making suck a big deal over his death. I hate the ridiculous punishments for illegally downloading music that costs too much for most people to buy. I like rap music but I hate people that listen to it because most of them are fucking retarded. I hate when people like me practice free speech like I just did above and get punished for it.

-Fredrick Fredrickson III

July 6th, 2009

posted May 31, 2009 10:28 PM by Screwed Band   [ updated Jul 5, 2009 10:59 PM ]



Music - One Smart Nigger by King Geedorah


    
Holy crap I haven't updated in over a month. I must be the worst blogger ever. Not that I have any readers anyway, you've all moved on to Twitter by now I'm sure. Anyway not much is new, school is kicking into high gear, I live in Tampa now and I have no job, pay for me oh faithful readers. I am working on a much perfected version of Little Box and the Journey to Planut, and I know your probably sick of hearing about it I promise you that you'll like it this time. To prove it I will post the first chapter here for you to preview it's awesomeness.



Screwed Adventures Part 1:

Little Box and the Journey to Planut

By D.J. Taylor

 


Chapter 1: Screwed

 

“Hot. Hot. Hot. I’m friggin’ hot!” Daniel sang.

 

          “Shut up will you?! I’m putting the air on now.” Vincent replied angrily.

 

          “Finally, I’m sweating balls back here. Where are we going anyway? I thought the theater was back that way.” Daniel said pointing his thumb behind him.

 

          “We’re going to get Emily for Luis.” Vincent replied.

 

          “Ugh, why do we always have to hang out with her?” Daniel asked sounding annoyed. “I mean you guys aren’t even going out right?”

 

“I’ve been working up the nerve, what’s wrong with Emily anyway?” Luis asked sounding concerned.

 

          “Nothing I guess, I just don’t feel comfortable talking about guy stuff while she’s around.” Daniel replied with a sigh. “Anyway, are you ever gonna ask her out?”

 

          “I was thinking I might do it tonight after the movie.” Luis said with a smile.

 

          “That’s my man! I hope you’re ready, ‘cause here she comes.” Vincent said as he pulled up to Emily’s house.

 

          “Hey guys.” Emily said as she climbed into the backseat with Luis. “What are we going to see tonight?”

 

          “I dunno, Daniel was supposed to look up show times in the paper, but he won’t stop reading that article.” Vincent said.

 

          “I can’t help it; this shit is too unbelievable not to read.” Daniel said excitedly.

 

“These two brothers down in southern Florida inherited over a billion dollars, and they used it to build a space ship in the shape on a giant flat head screwdriver with a rebel flag handle.” Daniel told them in between fits of laughter. “They claim aliens once abducted them and they plan to use their ship to hunt down and kill all aliens. It’s been inspected for safety and approved by NASA; it’s all ready to take off but their holding so they can recruit more fighters in their alien hunting party.”

 

          “Wow, is that for real?” Emily asked.

 

          “Yeah, it’s right here in the St. Pete Times.” Daniel said with glee.

 

          “That’s great, now can you please look up the movie times?” Luis asked slightly annoyed.

 

          “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get right on it” Daniel said, upset that no one else found it as funny as he did.

 

          Just then there was a loud pop sound, followed by a flop, flop, flop.

 

          “Damn!” Vincent cried as he pulled into a nearby parking lot.

 

          Everyone got out to inspect the now flat front left tire. Vincent knelt down in front of the now flat tire and pulled something out.

         

“A screw.” He said with a sigh as he held it up.

 

“You have Triple A?” Daniel asked.

 

“No.” Vincent replied sorrowfully.

 

“Well I say we go to the movies still, it’s not too far from here and I can have my mom pick us up afterword.” Emily said reassuringly.

 

“What about my car?” Vincent asked in defeat.

         

“It’s not in a tow away zone, and there’s no mechanic open this late that I know of, so we could let this ruin our night or we could go and have some fun still.” Emily said with a convincing smile. “Look, I’m sure your car will be fine till morning.” She added to seal the deal.

 

“Yeah alright, to the movies then I guess.” Vincent said glumly.

 

“Yes! Thank you!” Emily cried as she hugged Vincent with joy, leaving Luis in a sour mood for the remainder of the walk.

 

“Hey, you alright?” Daniel asked Luis as they walked slightly behind Emily and Vincent so’s not to be heard.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be alright. It just bugged me a bit when Emily hugged Vincent.” Luis replied sadly.

 

“Oh man, that was nothing. Trust me Vince has no interest in her.” Daniel said assuringly.

 

“I dunno, just look at them talking up there.” Luis said gesturing toward them.

 

          “You worry too much, they’re just talking.” Daniel said with a wave. “She’d be all over you if you just asked her out or something.”

 

          Before Luis could reply Emily turned down a narrow alleyway.

 

“Come on guys, follow me! I know a shortcut!” she cried with a wave.

 

They gave each other curious looks before following her down the alleyway with a shrug. It was dimly lit and smelt like dead fish.

The ground was littered with trash and various brown colored puddles. Rats could be heard scurrying around in the shadows and a single light flickered on and off in the distance.

 

“Are you sure you know where you’re going?” Luis asked nervously.

 

“Of course.” Emily replied slyly. “Not scared are you?”

 

“Pffh, never.” Luis replied bravely.

 

“I can hardly see where I’m going.” Daniel complained. “And I’m hot again.”

 

“Just follow the light at the end of the tunnel.” Emily said jokingly.

 

“And shut up about the heat already.” Vincent chimed in.

 

Daniel looked down the end of the alley at the blinking light that Emily referred to. It blinked on and off sparaticly.

 

“I’ll have to screw that in when we get there.” Daniel thought to himself.

 

Then he saw it. Illuminated for half a second before disappearing again as the light blinked out. It was a box, but not cardboard like all the others that littered the alleyway. The light blinked back on and he could see it shimmer green, some sort of metal but the box was too small to be a dumpster. It reminded him of a circuit bored but that wasn’t possible. Another blink of the light and it was lost to the darkness again. Daniel wasn’t exactly sure why, but that little green box at the end of the alley gave him a very uneasy felling.




-Daniel Taylor

June 1st, 2009

posted May 31, 2009 10:28 PM by Screwed Band



Music - Freewill by Rush

    Hey happy birthday to me. Sorry I haven't been on in awhile, I wish I had a comic for you but I might put a piece of art or something up for you at the end of this. Right now though I would like to rant. Yesterday an abortion doctor was killed in his church by a known anti-abortion radical. People die everyday and that doesn't bother me at all, and it doesn't bother me so much that this guy died as much as the reason for his death bothers me. And in his church? Come on that's low. I believe that abortion is between the mother and the father only, everybody else doesn't really give a fuck, they just like starting shit. I mean why would anyone make such a fuss over scraping some mistakes out of stupid teenagers and rape victims. Violence is in our nature, I just wish people would use it toward better causes.

    Anyway this has made me much too weary and upset for my 21st, so as promised here is some artwork for you.


    This is my living room that I made from scratch using no tutorials. The color is a little screwy because I messed with the render settings and couldn't undo it, but I like how it looks still. Anyway this is one third of my final project. I hope you like it.

- Daniel Taylor

April 12th, 2009

posted Apr 11, 2009 11:03 PM by Screwed Band



Music - The Desperate Man by The Black Keys

    So I was going to do a music review, but I just saw a movie so bad that I need to rant about it. Ultraviolet is a bad bad movie that thinks it's awesome.

 My biggest grip were the god awful "special effects", I mean the original Star Wars came out in 1977 and that still looks good. This looks like they wanted way more CGI then they had budget for, miniatures would have looked a thousand times better then the 3-D garbage mound buildings that they had in this one zoom in shot that they used three separate times throughout the movie. It's not that I hate movies with bad effects, it doesn't bother me when I see a flying saucer on a string in a 1930's sci-fi movie because that's the best they could do back then. But this shit fest came out in 2006, Superman, Pirates of the Caribbean, X-Men Last Stand all came out in the same year and looked great. If they didn't have a CGI budget then they should have used fucking any other of the million film making techniques that we had before CGI. I mean this shit was worse the a video game cut scene.

    Other then that the story sucked my balls, I could have seen the same shit in thousands other movies, and I would have looked better too. Acting sucked, Cameron Bright being king shit on shit mountain. It's like he taught the rest of the cast how to act and just barely surpassed him. Don't even get me started on the directing, have I mentioned that there are a number of potentially cool fight scenes that just cut to black and all you can do is listen to it. Even the final climatic fight takes place in mostly darkness with retardedly impossible flaming swords being the only source of light.

    Redeeming parts of this movie? Well
Klaus Badelt did a pretty good job on the score. It is for him that I give this a 2 out of 10. Thanks Klaus.

-Daniel Taylor

April 9th, 2009

posted Apr 9, 2009 4:09 PM by Screwed Band


Music - Keeping the Blade by Coheed and Cambria

    Hey sorry for the lack of updates, and the future lack of updates that will follow. Two of our members, both of which are not me are having "creative differences" and this is whats behind current hiatus. I can't promise new comics any time soon, but maybe some erratically updated podcasts. Also a new music project is in the works, more on that later. I'll try to continue giving you new reviews but don't expect too much else from us now.

-Daniel Taylor

March 28th, 2009

posted Mar 28, 2009 2:01 PM by Screwed Band



Music - Hymn by Moby

Hey I know I own you guys a podcast today but some shit came and fucked my computer up. So no podcast this week. Hell I don't even know if I'll be able to put a comic up next week. Play it by ear I guess.

-Daniel Taylor

March 25th, 2009

posted Mar 24, 2009 10:44 PM by Screwed Band



Music - My Gang by Cheap Trick

Got some hot bitches in my SUV
Blowin' me
Gettin' ta know me

We're headed over to the county fair
In our underwear
Gonna swim there

Then we get naked by the water side
With the children's eyes
Watching us

Then my dick gets hard
Feels longer then a yard
And I really need to use it

Then out the corner of my eye
I see Cletus comin' by
With his clothes all gone
And his boner long
And some Long John Silvers in a basket

So then we get out the lake
An ate some crispy fish
Till our dicks, could no longer stand it

So we bent them bitches over
And rammed with all our might
Just singin' along
To the Orgasm song

-Fredrick Fredrickson III

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