How we came to be Mr. and Mrs. ....

Let's be honest people, it all started with a hook-up.  This photograph proves it.  I had seen him around and he had seen me around and our friends (the couple at left) had hooked up, so we thought we'd give it a try.  Luckily for us, we went for it because we have been inseparable ever since.

Of course, we tell people the romanticized version of it.  He was the first one to show me how to get into the building we both work in when I arrived on my bicycle after-hours and I didn't know the passcode.  He struck me as a person who gave out passcodes to strangers while drinking a beer and grading papers at 10:30pm on a weeknight.  I struck him as a person who rides their bicycle around at night with a big helmet and uses hand signals (like a dork) and comes to work late on a weeknight for no reason.  But it turns out we're soulmates, who knew?

We did all the major life events together that year.  We dressed up as a couple for halloween, we went skinny dipping in the pacific ocean on Thanksgiving, we visited his dying grandfather in San Francisco, we celebrated christmas and new years.  We went dancing, dining, traveling.  We met each other's families.

We buried his grandfather at Arlington National Cemetery and shortly after that, he proposed to me on the beach in Cambria, CA.  It was a very relaxed proposal.  He was reading a book to me and I was staring off into the waves.  He put the book down and looked into my eyes and said, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."  There was no ring or forethought, just a genuine desire to become husband and wife.

I said yes, of course!

Wedding Planning...

We decided to buy a video camera instead of hiring a videographer.  But instead of buying it right before the wedding, we got it a year in advance.  As a result, we filmed each other throughtout the planning process and ended up with some pretty comical footage of how we planned the wedding.

Wedding Countdown Part I     Wedding Countdown Part II

The Wedding Day...

For us the wedding planning was pretty stressful but in the end everything turned out beautifully.  It was more than I could have hoped for.  Like Mike and I are greater than the sum of our parts, I think our wedding day was the same way.  We tried to do almost everything ourselves, but we ended up getting lots and lots of help from our friends and family.  I don't think I would want to relive my wedding day again.  It was so full of emotion.  I wasn't afraid to marry Mike, I was just trying to make sure all the bills got paid and that all my guests had everything they needed.  We had 22 rooms full of out-of-towners and about 140 people attended the wedding.

The Wedding Vendor Reviews...

The Winery at Canyon Crest, Riverside, CA
      A+  When we forgot to call them ahead of time to tell them which wines to have chilled for us, they tracked us down until they got a hold of us.  They made a custom batch of dessert wine for us to serve at our reception and the guests who arrived in town a couple days before the wedding got to help us bottle it.  This was a super-fun activity and I highly recommend it.  We made our own labels and those who helped bottle each signed a label.

The Mission Inn, Riverside, CA 
     A+  All our out-of-town guests stayed here and had an excellent time.  They felt it was "magical."  We offered our guests a tour of the inn, we had lunch at its Mexican restaraunt Las Campanas, I stayed there the night before my wedding, got ready for the wedding there, and stayed there with my husband on our wedding night.  I don't think any of our guests had a problem and I know I'll remember it fondly for the rest of my life. 

 The Mission Inn, Riverside, CA
     A  We also had a catered brunch there on the Sunday morning after the wedding.  The food was good and the service was good.  The room was nicely decorated.  It felt great to be catered to and to be able to forget about set-up and clean-up after the hecticness of the wedding (we had to ask family and friends for sooooo much help on the day-of).  This is called the Ho-O-Kan room and they made me agree that I wasn't offended by the Buddha statue several times before the event.

Super Nails, Riverside, CA
     A  I got my nails done here a few days before the wedding and one of my bridesmaids got a pedicure.  I had a nice time there and I even ran into my mother-in-law accidentally (we were both there to get our nails done before the wedding without planning to be there at the same time).  I don't know if it was expensive or cheap since I never get acrylic nails.  I just got white tips and one of them popped off while I was opening presents on Sunday so I got them removed shortly after the wedding.  Fun while it lasted though.

California Citrus State Historic Park, Riverside, CA
    A   This place wasn't cheap but it was a really beautiful setting for a wedding.  And I felt better giving my money to a state park whose mission it is to preserve the local history than a for-profit reception area like a hotel or golf course.  The wedding was outdoors and the reception was indoors in a wooden building with lots of windows.  The park provided tables and chairs for the reception but we rented nicer chairs for the outdoor ceremony.  There is a wedding coordinator who works for the park but her main job was making sure park rules were enforced, rather than helping us.

      (Rented chairs outdoor ceremony)                     (Sunkist center building for reception with the park's tables & chairs)
We had to pay extra for an alcohol permit, but it was worth it for the fun we had.  We could be as loud as we wanted because the park was spatially isolated from any residential area.  We had to insure the event (see below) so that no guest could sue the state of California if anything went wrong during the ceremony or reception.  We got our deposit back really quickly (less than one month) and I would definitely recommend this to a person like me.

insurevents.com, Los Angeles, CA   
     B  because the policy was acceptable to the state park but they weren't necessarily easy to deal with.  I had to call them to remind them I wanted a quote after I had requested one online.  Then I had to call and remind them to mail out my policy even after I had paid for it online.  But in the end it didn't matter because nobody made a claim on it.

J.Z.'s Party Charm, Riverside, CA   
    A   because even though we had to pay an extra $75 for them to deliver the linens and chairs at a precise time, they were on time and everything was clean and in perfect condition. They also followed our instructions for picking up the linens and chairs, which were to call the park wedding coordinator at least one hour before they were coming to pick them up the day after the wedding.  She said they did exactly that.  They might have been a bit pricey but what about weddings isn't?  From them, we rented the white padded chairs, ivory tablecloths and hunter napkins (shown in the pictures above).  We didn't have to wash anything, which was great!  We also didn't get charged for any damages.

cateringsupplies.com, Coconut Grove, FL  
    A-  They had a nice website that recommended specific disposable plates, spoons/forks/knives, napkins, tablecloths, glasses, etc.  I found it slightly helpful but mostly overwhelming.  I ultimately ended up ordering dinner and dessert plates, bowls, forks, knives and cocktail napkins from them.  On the plus side, people kept picking up the knives and forks expecting them to be heavy because they looked like real silverware.

Miguel's Mexican Restaurant, Corona, CA
    A+  This is a no-brainer for me.  I love mexican food and the owners, Mike and Mary Vasquez are family friends of my husband.  They brought 3 kinds of enchiladas (chicken, beef, cheese), beans, rice, salad, chips and salsa.  They brought several helpful and cheery people to serve our hungry masses.  Nobody complained about the food.  We had leftovers for dinner the next day and that's when I really got a chance to taste it...  awesome! 

The Baker's Oven, Riverside, CA
    A+  I don't mean to give everyone such good grades, but it's true.  Our vendors did a great job for us.  This cake was bigger than it looks in this photo.  I think the top layer was a 10" round and we had an additonal quarter sheet not pictured here.  I made the flower accents myself from a bouquet I bought at Michael's and there are some fine details on the actual cake that you probably can't see in this photo.  What you also can't see is how this cake tasted.  There wasn't a crumb left!

Trader Joe's, Riverside, CA    
     A+  These guys saved us probably thousands of dollars.  We had these grandiose plans to serve fancy wine and champagne at the reception but as the day approached our budget was basically spent.  We ended up buying 8 cases of "two buck chuck" which is wine that costs $2 per bottle.  We got two cases each of cabernet sauvignon, merlot, chardonnay, and sauvignon blanc.  We also bought two large jugs of "vodka of the gods" which were $10 and we used these to make drinks at the rehearsal dinner since we weren't allowed to have hard alcohol at the reception.

D'Arca Formal Wear, San Bernarino, CA
   A-  Fortunately we had mostly a great experience with this dress shop.  They've been around since 1968 in the same building with some of the original staff still working there, so you get a sense of family.  The problem we had was with the woman who runs the tuxedo side.  She told us it would be a horrible idea to let the bridesmaids wear different dresses.  Now come on, what is the virtue in having all bridesmaids in identical dresses?  Then she suggested to have them in identical color but different dress styles.  But my bridesmaids are mature, unique, wonderful women.  I couldn't confine them to a color or style.  And the woman told us flat out, "that will look terrible."  I think that's subjective.  We were in an outdoor setting so there are many greens and I think it looked great.  You can decide for yourself.  I put some pictures of other weddings (on the right) for comparison to ours (on the left).

Michael's the Arts and Crafts Store, Riverside, CA
     A+  Without this store, we wouldn't have had flowers or programs.  We bought some other stuff like table numbers, place cards and baskets that we never used and they gave us a refund.  I made the flower arrangement on top of the cake and the bridesmaid's bouquets were pre-made.  So were the wreaths on each table at the reception.  The oranges were real, we got them by the 50 pound bag at a corner stand near the park.

Laura Maxell, Remember Me... Photography, Riverside, CA
     A+  Laura was there on time, relaxed and ready.  She went at our pace and understood that we were nervous and emotional.  She captured all the important moments without standing out.  All the photos that say "PROOF" in the lower right corner are hers.  I am having mixed feelings about this one because the photography took up the largest portion of our budget.  She did a great job but at such a cost!  I guess everyone has to decide for themselves what to spurge and what to save on.  And thanks to our awesome friends and family, we ended up with thousands of pretty good looking amateur photos.  It's definitely our fault for not giving her a specific list of photos we wanted that we ended up with only a few family candids.  In this digital age where everyone has a camera and there are websites for posting digital photos that can be quickly and cheaply (for free even) shared with each other, it just might not make sense to splurge on photography, but that's what we did. 

On a side note, we didn't pay a videographer but instead used the money to buy a digital camcorder and tripod.  In the confusion, the tripod got lost and our wedding was recorded by a variety of family members who can all be heard on the video saying "here take this from me, my arm is about to fall off."  This may be funny to some people, but I'm actually kind of disappointed that we lost that tripod, which still (2 months post-wedding) has not surfaced.  The video is all shakey, so maybe we should have hired a videographer too.  We definitely couldn't have afforded another $1000 but at least we should have designated someone to be in charge of the tripod and camera.  My basic point is that I really shouldn't complain about the price of the photographer.  See for yourself:

Ceremony Part 1   Ceremony Part 2    Ceremony Part 3/Receiving Line    First Dance    Fun Dance     Speech

Tim Lamb, piano man, Riverside, CA
    A+ Tim always does such a great job.  He's ultra flexible and made our party flow so naturally from one thing to the next.  He didn't try to push his style on us, if anything my guests pushed their style on him.  He can play anything from SnoopDogg and Akon to the Beach Boys and Elton John to the Beatles to Joan Jett.  He's awesome!

Custom Leisure Services, Upland, CA
    A+ Carolyn was totally sweet and always reassured me over the phone.  We even forgot to pay them and they waited 3 weeks to let things settle down before asking for the money!  We rented a large bus for our guests to promote safe driving, and it actually got some use.  The transportation company was so excited because when the buses get rented for a wedding, usually the bride doesn't ride in it herself.  Not me though, I rode to my wedding with my six bridesmaids in that big ol' bus.  It was fun!  Poor Mike didn't get to ride in it at all but he did have to pay the bill!

Bernard Taylor, Ph.D. Scholar in Residence, Loma Linda University Church, CA
   A+  He made us go through pre-nuptial counseling and customized our ceremony for us based on what he observed in our counseling sessions.  The meaning behind each word in the ceremony was so deep, I was absolutely blown away emotionally.  I cried through almost the entire thing.  In a good way.  Hands down, this was the best part of our wedding.  It was the only part of the planning that made sense.  It allowed us focus on the spiritual meaning behind a marriage, and that really came through in the ceremony.  I will remember his words for the rest of my life.

 

Our parents: Kitt & Steve Hamersky, John & Margie Kaiser, Sally & Robert Dyer
Our grandparents: Franklina & James Moore, Eleanor & Al Hamersky, Don & Vera Hemphill, Amel & Mary Kaiser
     A+   I feel like I can't close this without thanking our families.  They showed us what real marriage is.  

 

 

The End.. or should I say the beginning!