2/09/09

For those of you who don't know, running a site is like running a shop. You need to keep your store updated with new items every once in a while to make people come. There needs to be a variety of items on the site, so there's an acceptable audience, but not TOO much stuff, since that can blur the lines of your audience. And most of all, a shop needs people that'll come to it through thick and thin.

Ironically, after the addition of the support my page feature, visits to my site have actually gone DOWN, nearing 0 in the past two weeks. Of course, there are the people who visit periodically, but they're few and far between. Embarrassing, but something I need to get off my chest. It's not a one-man show, people. I need your help.

Not that I'm an attention whore (OH! I WRITE STORIES! HOW SPECIAL!) or anything, but there's definitely a buzz I get by getting people to laugh. It's something about the sound (which is, of course, imaginary in this case)...or how they react...I don't know, but it makes me want to produce stuff that really knocks it out of the park. For you guys.

So all I'm saying is? Just check out the site more often. Post 'pasta' in the guestbook. Anything to let me know that people are reading this post right now. Regardless of what I write or do or post or jack up (sometimes), it ultimately means little (well, other than me, I do this because I love it) to anybody if they can't read it. It's a little like shouting in the middle of a storm and nobody can hear you. Or you think nobody can hear you even though they can. Am I going overly emo? You can rant about it in you-know-where. Besides, plenty of emo kids get thousands of hits.

I'll start writing a couple more things in the next couple of weeks, and I'll try not to edit a single paragraph. (Can't promise for single words :-P) Maybe they'll come. Maybe not. In any case, come here. Nothing like rereading crappy...I mean funny stories on a lazy afternoon. Do it? Please?

12/31/08

And on the last day of 2008, while everyone's making Top 5/10 Lists, I have decided to do a Bottom 5 of 2008. By the way, Happy New Year.

5. Disney. Seriously, Disney? Could you get any more delusional about reality than you are right now? How many more Hannah Montana lunchboxes can I take before I want to punch whoever makes these stupid knockoffs? What wonderful lessons are you teaching to your young viewers? That every problem in your life can be remedied by talking down to your friends and family (and buying the High School Musical 3 album)? No wonder low self-esteem rates went up in '08: kids think that unless they're pop stars in blonde wigs, NOBODY CARES! Wholesome entertainment IS possible, Disney. You're 0 for 2 right now.

4. the weather. Korea, America, Sweden, whatever. We could be looking at a real-life Day After Tomorrow. Other than the corny script and the awesome special effects.

3. FOX. Any network that makes the asshole decision of cancelling one of its longest running shows, MADtv isn't passing in my book.

2. violence. It seems that people think that force is the way to get it, which is crap. Anyone heard about the Wal-Mart employee that got run over by an angry mob on Black Friday? The mob saved 8% of their money and spent 8% of their lives in jail. Which brings me to another point...

1. etiquette. This has gone down the toilet in 2008. I'm not one to talk (me and my soap-mouth words), but whenever I have to look over my shoulder to make sure nobody's staring while I take my backpack off, or washing my hands, or whatever I'm doing. Then when I look up, they keep staring, like it was MY fault they were gawking. Or someone will nicely ask the bus driver which way it's going, and then everyone's subjected to the sound of his shouting. Speaking of shouting, shut your big traps when you're on the subway, guys. Nobody cares how mad you are. You can yell at your offendee when you get off the train.

That being said, 2008 was quite a good year, but these things kept it from reaching a high point of achievement in the world. 2009 should be a deal better.

Thanks for reading my last post of 2008. Peace.

-Moses

12/18/08

Today I talk to you about something very serious. It is a new project that affects thousands of teen girls today.

 

 

Twilight.

 

 

I saw the film, and while I semi-enjoyed it (shut up, you macho PowerAde-fueled guys), there was room for improvement. Yes, hurl the stones at me.

Anyway, here's the review.

'It's quite obvious that this film was made to commercialize on the millions of teens out there devouring the latest Twilight books by Stephanie Meyer. I'm not one of them, and that's why a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but I'm not writing this for you. I'm writing it for the people looking for a great 2 hours of film. Just wanted to clear that up.

Twilight isn't a bad movie, but anything it does has already been done better by other films. You want breathtaking magic sequences with loads of special effects? Watch Harry Potter. What about an epic teen-friendly romance? Titanic is right up your alley. Or hot boys? Porn is always an option. No, just a joke to lighten up the mood.

The plot is so well-known that if you don't know it, people will forever FORSAKE YOU AND PUT YOU IN THAT GROUP OF KIDS THAT SIT IN PAIRS AND EAT WET NOODLES ALL THE TIME. But if you are (I hope you aren't!), then I'll give you a general rundown. Girl meets boy. Boy is vampire. Boy does not eat humans (tries not to). Other vampires aren't as nice. Other vampires start stalking girl. Hilarity ensues. No, wait, wrong film. Or is it?

It isn't. Twilight borders on vanity and fantasy so much that once I almost blew my popcorn. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I haven't been converted yet. As a matter of fact, can someone who's read the book and watched the film tell me?

There are strong points of the film. Kristen Stewart holds her own as Bella, although Robert Pattinson didn't exactly rivet me to the screen. When the film isn't being silly, some of the action sequences are brilliantly sequenced, especially the one with the tree-jumping. That being said, the final battle is a MESS, switching from ass-kickery to sentimental moments between Edward and Bella.

While Twilight isn't the next Paris Hilton film in terms of quality, it ain't no Holy Grail either. I'd strongly suggest reading the novel before watching the film. Who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy it more than I did.

3/5'

Comment in the guestbook, discuss, etc.

11/22/08

Okay, here goes.

So the other day, I was sitting on the subway like any innocent person would, when this harabuji (that is a term of respect in Korea, it means "elder man") came up to me and starting shouting at me and swearing about something. Thankfully, I wasn't alone, and another woman came up and yelled at him to leave me alone. Then he got scared, I guess, and walked back to another corner of the subway car, but he was still swearing behind his back. My mom and my sister got sick of this and left, so I went with them, but when I looked back for the last time, the harabuji shouted something that might have been "What're YOU looking at?!" before it came out of his mouth. I was miserable the rest of that day, but at least I was inspired to write an essay about it in my humanities class.

Then a couple days after that, my sister and I were running down the streets to catch the subway to get to school, and we passed this mini-mart. Then the woman who ran it looked at us and said something bad enough that I'll take the liberty of censoring it out for you here. My sister was mad, saying something under her breath, and I was mad too, especially considering the subway incident that happened 2/3 days ago, so on that day, I wrote something here that I now regret writing. ("When you post something online, it's out there forever!" Yeah, we had an assembly on that in school, complete with candid shots of people's Facebook pages.) For the sake of fairness, I deleted that post and in place of it I now write this editorial on the broken relationship between foreigners and others.

Sometimes, I forget that I haven't been living here for my whole life and do stupid things in public, but that doesn't mean that people need to comment on it, right? Every time some random person comes up to me to tear me down, it takes a while to build myself back up. Another thing it shows me is that when you have to go to other people to pick on, others smaller than you, you're doing something worse than discipline. I'm not sure what the words for it in Korea would be, but if you tried something like that in America, I technically had the right to call the cops on you for "emotional abuse of a minor". We, as guests in your country, need to clean up our act, but there are plenty of real Korean citizens out there who need to respect us because, like I said, we're visitors. If you don't like it, just don't say it. We'll be gone soon enough. (Except for me, I'll be here 4-6 more years, but that's beside the point.)

Some of you guys have burned me hard, and this is what I say back to you.

11/01/08

I am so addicted to coffee. Here's a timeline of my coffee experience:

1995-2007 Inconsistent consumption of Nips and CoffeeGo hard candies. Neither was that great.

8/29?/08- Had a taste of black coffee. Hated it. Too bitter. Added sugar and syrup, and it still tasted like cough syrup.

Late 9/08- Went on routine doctor's appointment and they had a coffee machine there. Got a milk and sugar. It was okay.

10/23/08- Had hazelnut coffee and suddenly went cuckoo for coffee beans!

10/31/08- Treated myself to machinerized milk coffee with a white chocolate Oreo's stick. It was deliciooooouuusss.

Here's my warning to you: don't drink coffee unless you ABSOLUTELY need it. I haven't slept in 3 days.