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Selected Poems by Mitchell Waldman

              
     
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Alien Days (in The Poet's Haven)
 

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Streets

 

Decadence left on the doorstep

it's a bundle of trouble

wrapped in the flames

of a burning world

burning youth

elements in the streets

innocents on their own

cleave to form a unifying mist

the little girls dressed in black

and blue

leaning to the most recent extremes

their stockings seamed

their leather clings

eyes losing focus

I can't see the reason

can't find the feeling

the bodies bouncing to the beat

carefree kids on angels' wings

their beer-stained dreams

their ratted mattresses

they've caught life quick between the sheets

roaches and butts patrol the sink

looking for some action

"Get the rent or get out!"

the onion-skinned walls peel scream

bug-eyed looking past them

looking out

watch the pretties file

so young so slim so clean

the vacant lots vacant smiles

parade the streets at night

lined with colorful drunks

and junk

the bars

the come ons

the walls move in tight

the nostrils the legs the rumors spread

the pigs are out

this joint's gone out

gotta get out before the freeze

cruising bars: got a light?

let's go to my place

crank it snort it eat it

s'il vous plait?

it's cool and sticky

runs down your leg in dreams

the quick chill at the tip of your spine

can't sleep

awake in a daze

caught in the flow

a room

some room

a shower of eyes

arms and knees and scattered sheets

bits of thigh bottles lipsticks clips and ashtrays lie

and strolling the Army's racks

fifty cent hats and nickel bags

the black sheep flock

booze in bags grizzled chins

eyes yellow watery gray

mumbling: hey man need a quarter for an arrow--

gonna shoot me a sparrow

pulling loose some change

he's on his way

immortal phrases hung on porcelain walls

in a musty pub stuck

as he pulls the urinal chain

needing air the beach to dry out

the waves needling green suds

the alewives floating home

the bodies broil between hamburger wrappers

the sun trapped in a bubble

the sand a collage of butts and beer cans

radios dueling with the wind

comparing newest waves

unemployment check

shades in hand

checking out the scene

then packing up pulling blistered body out

humping down the street

potato skin moccasins stumbling

hey man you gotta fag?

crazy

back in bed and the night's arise

sticks his face back in the glass

smiling pretty green and popping ludes

back on the streets

lying in his suit

feet dangling off the bed

streets tangling in his head

gonna escape this mess some day

fill the void the time

go straight get a job

a pair of shoes

hitch out West

to Frisco

you know, the Coast

do it tomorrow

someday

back under covers rolling numbers

and overnight it finally happens:

the walls sweat crack

the roof caves

the roaches plan their attack

standing on the ledge

gotta fly before I fall.

 

(originally appeared in Poetry Motel)


           




      Hello

A man called
(I think it was a man)
he said:
Happy Holocaust you
hook nosed bloodsucking
Jew worm.
All I could think to say
was Hi right back.
And he replied:
May your children's children
rot in the cold earth like you
you slimy carcass carrion
you diseased treachorous vermin.
You have a nice day too, I said,
and hung up the phone gently
refreshed by such a meaningful communication
with an intelligent
sensitive member of
our genus species time.
Yes dear God, he's ours
and yours forever.
Let the wind whip a chill
down heaven's spine.

(previously appeared in Innisfree and Beyond Lament: Poets of the World Bearing Witness to the Holocaust (Northwestern University Press, 1998))



 


     You Are

You are the sunshine
when I open my eyes
and I snuggle up beside you
never wanting to let go.
You are my heat when I’m cold
my strength when I’m weak
my voice when I’m mute.
You are the lavender scent of
a new spring day
the breeze that cools
on a hot summer day.

And you are what I need
today
tomorrow
every day
for the rest of my life.
I love you, Diana.





      The Sunrise and You
 
 
Want to lie in the tall grass
in the soft dew
with you
watch the sunrise
the sun reflecting
shining in your eyes
want to kiss you at that moment
at that first newborn burst of light
so like the burst of light
in my heart
when I see you
when I hear you
when I feel you
put my arms around you
and know
in that instant
the Truth
like an ancient wisdom I’ve known
I’ve carried around in my heart forever.
 
        (originally appeared in Mobius and Poet's Haven)
         




       

         Nineteen


         He was nineteen
         dying in a field
         in a foreign land.
         That was all he knew.
         He wasn’t feeling brave
         but only afraid
         as he felt the life
         slipping out of him.

         He didn’t know who was right
         or who was wrong
         as they argued about it
         in the grocery stores
         in the newspapers
         at the filling stations
         and he lay dying
         in this field of green.

         He didn’t feel as if it were an honor to die
         he didn’t feel dignified
          or proud,
          just scared,
          a boy longing for home.

          He didn’t know anything now
          just the pain;
          he wasn’t thinking about bleeding-heart liberals
          or staunch conservatives
          only about all the things he wouldn’t see
          he wouldn’t do in his life
          now that it would all be over so soon
          and the fear of the unknown
          of what was to come.

          He didn’t know much about politics
          about “stand firm”
          or “the right plan”
          he didn’t know
          which candidate
          was better for the country
          now he would never get the chance to vote).

          He only knew
          he was nineteen
          and he was going to die
          before he had a chance
          to live
          and he wasn’t really sure
          why.

(originally appeared in Wounds of War: Poets for Peace (PublishAmerica, 2006))



   Fragments of a Day


Old discarded sneaker
lying on the roadside
as the car flashes past,
church steeple
liquor store
lights turning yellow, turning red,
old newspapers blowing down the street,
running, always running
to catch the next story,
billboards of happy smoking people
scream: you could have this life, too
for a price
a price
a price,
playground with metal tennis hoops,
a single basketball sets alone on the concrete
waiting for someone to pick it up,
skies of gray,
clouds of rolling thunder,
a dozen roses still wrapped in green paper
stuffed in a trash can,
sleeping baby smiling in a car seat,
not knowing what's yet to come,
sneakers tossed over electrical lines, dangling in the wind,
old woman sitting in front of her apartment building,
glasses falling down her nose,
knitting another scarf,
a blue-suited bell boy
opening the door of a limo
for an aged blonde-haired woman
decked in furs and jewels,
as the  girls down the street
throw the stone
and hopscotch on the sidewalk,
discarded paperback novel
lying in a gutter
pages flapping in the wind,
a man in ragged clothes
sleeping on a park bench,
little boy
dressed in his best suit
as the casket is lowered into the earth
 
wondering what it's all about,
winds of change
swirling
lifting newspapers
up into the air
so they dance
in a circle
by the fire hydrant
and empty beer cans
roll down the street,
an unshaven old man
in his white sleeveless T-shirt
peeps out his window,
at the chaos of the streets below,
radio blaring:
"Better get out those umbrellas
because it looks like a doozy
of a storm's headed our way,"
old man scratches under his arm
lights a cigarette
closes his window
and disappears inside

and the world keeps spinning
and the world keeps turning
try to catch it
try to keep up.

 




       Chosen Ones     


I've never been one of the Chosen Ones
never sipped my soup with a silver spoon,
but have stood by watching,
servile,
hands behind the back,
tail between my legs,
watching ladies sip tea,
slipping out of stoles,
jumping,
bending down to pick them up
when the precious animal hides
fall to the floor,
grabbing them
and returning them
to their owners,
unseen
unheard
unnoticed
invisible
out of sight
out of mind
of the powers of privilege,
as they,
with white gloves,
continued to sip,
over idle chatter of the latest fashions in
dresses, soirees, and wine,
their smooth tanned elbows tilted
at just the proper angle,
quite,
47 1/2 degrees I think it would be,
munching on biscuits, scones,
speaking of all their charitable contributions,
their fund raising efforts,
smiling the pearly white smiles
 
that only those
in the clouds of grace
can smile,
while down below,
the rest of us carry umbrellas
or don't,
waiting for the endless skies of gray to clear.

(originally  appeared in HazMat Literary Review)




        Alice, Would You Stop?


If I saw you on the streets
would you stop
ran in front of your car
would you stop.
Called you on the phone
hoped that you weren't home
would you stop.
Showed you all my sloppy poems
about love and love and love
you didn't bat a pretty lash
said poetry?--
you didn't know much about it.
Bottle of wine
you made me drain it
until I couldn't do it
then turned and laughed.
Beat me red
took me to the edge
said the timing wasn't right.
Remember how you laughed
with your friends
as the door slammed?
You weren't supposed to be here
I wasn't supposed to see you
but saw you in the streets
would you stop
would you stop
would you stop
threw a wrench in my chest
they sewed me up neat
left the wrench.
If I was running for my life
would you stop and say
hello?
I don't think so.
If my life was on the line
calling collect
and I didn't have a quarter
would you spare the change
or hang me up?



     If You Were Still Here


I could be so close to you
in my desperate clinging moments
but you're not here.
Azure dreams dreams
all day long through the night
can't sleep for dreaming of you.
If you were here now
you wouldn't let me slobber sorrow
you'd kiss my death-caked looks away
and they'd fly high above the clouds, the rain,
wouldn't let me indulge myself in self-pity,
shock me out if it with your snarl, your smile
as you did then.
The dreams coming faster, harder now
mixing with the spinning turmoil
I dress myself in daily.
Want to go back
feel your winds gently sweeping over me again.



   Arms

When there ain't
nowhere to run
where do you run?
Into arms
you never left --
warm arms
dark arms.
You begin to lean
and they're gone
never been
just needle tracks
shadows
footprints in the dust
in the road
leading to a swamp
hounds hot on your trail
where do you run
frantic
come across shacks
knocking on doors
rubbing your arms in the chill night
nobody answers the knocks
the shadows behind which
someone has arms
if only they'd open.




            Mental Ward


They're lined up against the hallway walls
looking like refugees from a war long past--
the woman of eighty or so on the cot
reaching up,
her bony hands like twigs
swaying in the breeze,
reaching blindly
as we pass,
on the endless swing ride of her past,
calling for Daddy: "Daddy, I wanna get off";
the ancient man of bones
shuffling along the linoleum floor in his slippers,
dressed in his pajamas at seven o'clock at night,
eyes dulled like marbles,
feet seeming to move but getting nowhere;
"Who is he? Who is he?" a distressed voice calls out
as I walk past,
her eyes on me still as I try to smile
try to reassure her that I'm perfectly innocent;
the woman shrieking some ungodly song
and conducting the imaginary orchestra
but smiling smiling all the while;
the gray-haired pale-faced woman
who can't seem to get the words out
as she approaches us, shakes her head,
smiles apologetically,
and tries for five minutes
to open the locked door,
then moves on;

the victims the wasted the remnants of
us
this is the circus from hell
the place where they go
where we may go
when we go
when little pieces of their minds
of our minds
start to splinter off
and fall to the floor
in a senseless pile
when the puzzle pieces no longer seem to fit
they're there (will we be?)
talking to no one
to their memories, to their ghosts
locked forever in a perpetual snow dome,
but we're able to leave
they, they must stay
playing talking arguing with their private ghosts
murmuring away
as the elevator doors shut
and leave them behind
but not for long
we'll be back
to see the babbling
to weep inside at what becomes of some of us
and curse our time already lost forever.

     




   The Sky Today


It's always like this
the day after the Horror:
sky endless rolling blue
not a cloud in sight
breeze slight
fluttering oak leaves and maple
birds chirping unseen, all around

but yesterday
my father's mother--
light snatched from her eyes--
was led by a steel gray robot
to her last shower

and yesterday
Sylvia Plath turned on the gas

and yesterday
a girl I knew
who hid behind a Cheshire grin
did her Sylvia imitation
smile sparkling
before dissolving into air.

So how do I explain today
the sun high
blinding
in a cloudless sky
birds chirping
as if nothing's come to pass
before this day
this sky?
How do I explain the sky's deception
turning my insides out
making me want to touch
to feel
to dance
when beneath its cloak of blue
the unseen faces lie hidden
watching
and
waiting?

(originally appeared in Poetpourri)





       Blueprints to Black


Newspapers blowing in the streets
sticking to granite walls
match stick corpses piled naked in a pit
blueprints to Crematoria # 1, 2, 3 and 4
signed, stamped, and filed
letters imploring supervisors to work faster
get the job done
invoking laws of supply and demand
there are deadlines
and budgets to meet

and finally, done!--
the architect and engineer smile,
greet each other by the water cooler
for a paper cup toast,
and shake each others hands.
A charcoal gray sky
rain falling lazily in cold fat droplets
steady, unceasing
like the transports
the constant squeal of infants

shoes of all sizes lined neatly on the racks
eyeglasses stored in great boxes
hair like hay rolled and bound
proud trademark on the oven makers' kiln

a faceless soldier bent over at the sight
counting bodies
then failing
falling to the ground
hand over his eyes
crying silent tears.

Cold night lying alone on a mattress
not a sound but the refrigerator's hum
the rain dripping against the window pane
the distant wail of a freight train
and the echo of an infant, a sea of infants wailing--

it will yet be night
it will yet be night.

(originally appeared in Hazmat Literary Review)





   Hands


He would swear at the boxes
they would never stop coming--
tape 'em, stuff 'em, pack 'em--
the routine never died
until the skin of his narrow fingers
would grow chafed, calloused, cold
from the sharp edges
the tiny blades
that blurred his vision
that slipped beneath the skin
into his heart.

And at the end of the day
he would look down at the palms
of his colorless hands
shove them into his pockets
afraid to take them home
to caress his sprightly young wife
his newborn son
afraid that from his touch
would flow the daggers
he kept locked up in his head.

(originally appeared in Innisfree and Hazmat Literary Review)





        The Necessary Strength

Surrounded by possibilities,
the lead ring just out of reach,
the past bleeding into the present tense.
Sitting alone,
Black & Tan in hand,
wondering how I got to this point.
 

When did the tiny crack
turn to a crevice,
and then separate the dreams
from reality?
When did the pressure push me off the ledge?
But still hanging on by my fingernails.

"It's just life," one said,
but what else do we have?

Pulling myself up by my knuckles
on bare rock,
turning them white,
climbing up with all my might,
to see what lies on the horizon --
is that a clouded sun that I see,
or just the eerie light of the moon
taunting, mocking me
to succeed,
to gain the final
necessary strength?

  

      

    farewell to a friend

it was raining on the pavement as
he shaved it off
the room was cold
cutting hair by hair
the fuzzy balls floating to the floor
cutting Samson's strength
left naked to the blade
a clean start
and an end
the stripped hairs
were tears
coating the floor
clogging the sink
they fell and fell

air breathing through
sun warming a new face
broiling the cement
soaking up the rain --
a hair or two remained.




I Will Never Know Their Names

It doesn't seem like too much to think about you
once (or twice) in my life
for a few fleeting moments:
you would have been here
not gassed smoked roasted
by red-eyed wolves
that called themselves men,
for what reason?
Because you were Jews?
Because they needed someone to blame for their
unhappiness
for their misery?
I think about all of you I would have known,
would have visited
(those of you I would have liked,
would have hated).
But now it doesn't matter:
won't know you,
or your children,
or your children's children (my cousins),
ever.
They won't ever be;
could this possibly be true?
Too terrible to comprehend
that men would fry babies
and mothers
and bearded grandfathers,
why?
Gas them
and pile their bodies,
their broken limbs, in mass graves
or better yet, they'd say,
let's burn them!
Let the stench of burning flesh
taint this land forever,
but save all useable parts--
the skin of the Jew for instance is tough,
would make good lampshades--
could they have really skinned us like cattle?
Yes, they could,
they did,
we must never forget.
But for all my cousins that were
and never were
now, for one single moment,
with a single tear
I cry--I never knew their names.

(originally appeared in HazMat Literary Review)






      Separate Ways


She said "Yes, I think you should go,
at least for a while.
We need to see what's what."
It said sexy girls are waiting to talk to you
Unique and enchanting female 31, 5' 7" 300 lbs.
Seeking someone special
"We need to see if things are better
if we're not together."
Your sweetheart as close as your phone
2.99 a minute
"If you feel better about yourself
and me about myself this way,
we need to see if there's anything left to salvage."
Unforgettable conversations, fulfill your fantasies
"You still love the girls, don't you?"
Get rich quick: rich in love that is
"And don't forget to send some money,
when you get some,
and come and see the kids
and borrow the car
and use the computer
and stereo
whenever you want";
#1 Rated bored housewives
kinky local girls
almost illegal
hot mature ladies
kinky Asian girls
hot college coeds
2.99 a minute
"'Cause you know
you always have a place here,
this is where you belong."
Love, happiness, success
can be yours in 1996
Amazing results
LIVE. Certified psychics want to help
Call now.
2.99 a minute
2.99 a minute.
"It won't be so bad,
just for a while,
till we figure things out,
will it?"
What are you waiting for!
Sexy babes want to talk to you!

The phone rings once, twice--
I don't move
I'm afraid to pick it up.

(originally appeared in Desperate Act)





    Shakespeare's Dead Too


Romeo and Juliet
took a stroll
down the wrong road
poor Juliet
walking out in a flash sunset
a world turned strange
all mirrors and wires
razor blades and empty vials
a fish-eye look
hook in a dirty bowl
forgetting: hey I never learned
to breathe beneath the surface
just green around the gills,
you might say.
So Romeo (being Will's son)
he took a stroll
looking after J
holding back a bit
following the road
afraid afraid afraid
lost
looking for a fresh trail in the dust
whispering through the trees,
shivering:
Juliet, come out come out
wherever you are.

(originally appeared in Innisfree)






             The Cold Swing


Swinging on a cold swing
the moon an icy cuticle
through bare branches
the cold air night
a rebirth of blemish-free childhood
sky so clear
like long ago Illinois nights
cold cutting
the moon a sickle sweeping
striking ears cheeks limbs
but honest--
you could drive for miles and miles
through frigid rows of faceless cornstalks
it was somehow simpler there then
every immediate challenge immediate
a whitewashed cross of hardwood
hurdled easily
without strain
legs still yearning
for the next soaring flight--
and now
now straining muscles fail against bulging burdens
discontentment
fog and clouds the normal color of New York skies
except for this moment:
the moon hanging crystal clear
the muscles babyborn new
dark cornfields surround you again
and you soar
swinging on a cold swing. 

(originally appeared in The Advocate






  Soil


The pseudo-friend I was to meet for lunch has forgotten,
and the bearded Mexican farmer on the wall stares at me,
sad-eyed,
life drained from his eyes
by all the years
of tilling the earth,
turning the soil.
And what soil have I turned,
what crops have I grown
in thirty-nine years?
And what has drained the life
from my eyes
but ordinary everyday things--
work, worries, marriage,
work,
three children,
exuberant, bright-eyed,
too young to be disappointed,
but after twelve years of marriage
disappointed as their parents grew,
tore apart
the family portrait crashing to the floor.

My five-year old calls me on the phone
twice, three times in five minutes,
talking too close to the mouthpiece
trying to get closer
to my cheek, to my ear,
but I'm a mile away,
listening in my hull,
my echoey white palace,
repeating to her: "I love you too, baby,"
my stomach raw, empty,
as gently I place the phone
back in its cradle.

 
(originally appeared in HazMat Literary Review)





     Journey


Trudging through the desert
he came upon
a tiny pool of water
after hundreds of years
without
and he drank from it
saw himself in its surface
and slept beside it.
When he awoke
the sun had done its work
the pool was gone.
And what could he do
thirsting for more
a further glimpse of himself
the memory left on his tongue;
he could not drink his own tears
could do little but stand
and continue on
for another hundred
sun burnt years.

  (originally appeared in POETALK)

        


ALL POEMS COPYRIGHT © 2009
 BY MITCHELL WALDMAN

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And CHECK OUT:

A FACE IN THE MOON, Mitchell's debut novel:
http://mitchwaldman.homestead.com/FACEINMOON.html

Selected Short Stories by Mitchell Waldman:
http://mitchwaldman.homestead.com/Short-Stories-by-Mitchell-Waldman.html

A WOMAN'S SONG, the new poetry collection by Diana May-Waldman:
http://mitchwaldman.homestead.com/AWomansSong.html


WOUNDS OF WAR: POETS FOR PEACE, an anthology of poetry and other writings about War:
http://mitchwaldman.homestead.com/WoundsofWar.html




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