Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband !

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash

I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I start eating!

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

At weddings old aunts usd to tease me saying "You are next, you are next."But they stoppd it since I started doin the same to them at funerals...!!

How did Santa cheat the railways? He bought the ticket and didn't travel.

What does a man say when St.Peter doesnt allow him into heaven?"What the HELL is going on here?"

"What did one ghost say to another?" "Do you believe in people?"

I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!! 

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Is there another word for synonym?

Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?

If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?