Topic #1: Understanding Asian Parents' Authority

 

By: Sulad Jhun Cardeinte, An excerpt from his unpublished book “The Gospel Call”

 

What is true to many countries is that parents give enough freedom to their children to decide for their real life. But this does not usually happen in Asia. We can hear about force marriages and the impact of parents’ authority to choose for their children’s behalf. Though children have ability to decide for their own success and happiness, some parents who belong to a certain minority group give slim freedom to them. Usually, the freedom they give for their children is only for the minor choices in life. This is one of the many cultural practices here in Asia in which the voice of the parents and old folks are highly regarded. However, the impact of parents’ authority over their children is not the same as their level of authority varies. In this article, let us take for example the choosing of wife or husband in Asian context.

These three kinds of Asian practices may help us understand their varied power of parents over their children as well as the impact towards their children and how much freedom their children can exercise.

 

1.         Decision- Many especially among the minority tribes that what the parents want to happen is already mean final decision. This means that children are not involved in the major decision in life. Every major decision belongs to the parents’ will on behalf of their children. Parents’ strong love and ties with their children may seem the cause that leads them to think that they can best protect their children when they are the one making decision for them. For example, the Badjao in Tawi-tawi, Manobo and Talaandig in Bukidnon, Philippines have been practicing parental arrangement marriages. Though many children have obeyed and become successful in their marriage life, some of them have tried to escape from their jungle homes. Many parents threatened their daughters that they won’t see them alive if they choose follow what they want. But the trouble would be very difficult to handle if the parents already accept the partial dowry in a form of money, animals or large amount of food. Since the famil will be put to embarrassment. In the Manobo culture, they called it “bugay” while the Badjao called it “hukot” that is to tied up their daughter to a certain man. “Tied up system” is done many months or years before the wedding ceremony happen, the purpose is to close the selling business to any other man. But later on, if the parents themselves change their mind and realize the man is not fitted for their daughter, then the parents can double the amount given by the certain man to free their daughter. In most cases, if the girl’s family found another man whom they think better than the first man. The parent-to-parent arrangement between three parties will be made in agreement to double the amount to be given back to first man. In most cases, decisions are being made through parents without any involvement from their child. The child in each camp will just wait and see the outcome. They obey their parents and grandparents with great respect as a sign of gratitude. This is one of the common practices among the minority groups.  

 

2.         Strong recommendation- Some Asian parents feel that they see many things than their children do as they think that they are more experienced than their children. Some cultural groups in Asia usually among the minorities hold “strong recommendation” as their practice. The social ethical standard that the older people must be respected has a great impact towards their children’s lives. Though the parents’ or grandparents’ preference or choice may not mean a final decision, they have the right to say what they feel and think of. Though no forcing is being made, the whole family is usually involved in the decision making. This involves persuading and convincing their children that what they think is right. What makes this a trouble to the children is the fear that their parents will curse them and they cannot obtain parental blessings. For example, the Mien tribe in Thailand, which most parents strongly use the astrological calendar to determine whether their son or daughter is compatible to whom they have relationship with, though their children are not totally convinced of what their parents’ believed, their parents’ words are still valued because for fear that something bad may happen in the future and they can’t count on to their parents anymore.

 

3.         Suggestion- In this case, the parents still have much power to rule over their children. But they have come to believe that guidance and counseling is best rather than strict rules, demanding obedience and forceful request.  The parents’ choice as suggestion is commonly practice by families living in the urban places, where they are already open to the influence of the modern society. Most educated Asian parents nowadays give total freedom to their children to decide for the big choices in life, they think that total freedom brings real happiness to their children. But still Asian children have considered their parents as special teachers who could teach them the right way and important lessons in life. Though parents have their dreams for their children, they just share it in a form of suggestion while their children are listening. In this case, their children are free to say “no” tactfully if they don’t feel comfortable.

 

Why Important?

 

By understanding how much authority the parents have and how much freedom their children can exercise may help our ministry more safe and efficient. A missionary cannot waste his time focusing to minister the children when the decision belongs only to their parents. In cases where parents’ words hold real power over their children, it is wise to change our priority by reaching the parents.

It is not good that children will be seen by their parents as rebellious. List is long about the conversions of children in different tribal groups that following from baptism they were rejected by their family and relatives. There were many cases in the past that missionaries encouraged a certain child to be baptized without asking permission formally from their parents. It is important to note that in Asia, if a missionary plan to save the children, he must begin the saving job to the parents!

It is always true that salvation is individual but we cannot snatch each of the family’s children. It is friendly and wise move to preserve our relationship with the family. This is one way of opening salvation’s door to their family and relatives.  As I mention partly, there are certain tribes that critical decision is being made by all members of the family and some are done by parents only without any participation from their children. And even the parents give total freedom for their children it is wise still to let the parents know what is going on and what is going to happen.

Another thing I learned by experience was that there are certain tribes that decisions are largely dependent to the village’s head or the “datu” where the villagers largely depend on his command. The head has much power to rule the village. What is usually common is that their headman is also the in charge of the spiritual decorum of the village. No wonder that missionaries who were so sensible to invest his time to get the headman get the whole village!

 

Topic # 2: Understanding Buddhism

By: Sulad Jhun Cardeinte

There are many kinds of Buddhism with their varied teachings and beliefs. However, the two major groups are Theravada and Mahayana. Though differs, they have essential points of agreement. These points are the basic beliefs they hold in common. However, I cannot mention all unifying points they have but one of the important points they have agreed is that they do not accept the idea that this world is created and ruled by a God.

Basically, Buddhism emphasizes more on experience and facts, in fact it is accepted as scientific philosophy. I had been to Thailand National Science Museum in Bangkok and I discovered how strongly they accepted the Darwinism theory (evolution). A Buddhist teacher who was a friend of mine shared his conviction to me and wondered why Christians do not believe Darwin when he’d come from the west.

The Value of Spiritual Experience

Buddhist values human experience rather than refutation and interpretations. As experience teaches, they believe that spiritual lesson can be learned through personal encounter. Buddhist adherents are exhorted not believe anything until he found it by himself to be true. Experimental and personal encounter for spiritual experience is being valued more than listening to a trusted friends or reading good books.

Many occasion that I was invited by my Buddhist friends to try to experience the reality of Buddhism. They said that the reality of spiritual experience will get us in touch with the spiritual realms. This includes a sincere desire to experience enlightenment for yourself.

Buddhist Concept of Language

To the Buddhist, there are two types of language;

1.) the language of ordinary people

2.) the language of those who understand realities

The ordinary language is the language spoken by ordinary people who do not understand the spiritual reality or blind to truth. While those people who have known to understand realities know what is “dharma” (truth) and are aware of ordinary language and knows how to handle ordinary people.

Christians and other religions are being class by Buddhist as ordinary or common people since Christians and others are unaware or blind to what they called “dharma”(truth). Dharma is the teachings of Buddha which among Buddhist adherents they called it “the ultimate reality.” One of those types of people they considered ordinary are those whose lives are centered on material things.

Buddhist Concept of Religion

To the pure Buddhist, they view all religions as the same. They hate theological dispute and view people who differentiate Christianity to Buddhism or to other religions as people who are yet in the stage of ignorance.

Many ordinary Buddhists I met even hold the idea that Christians in particular have more similarities to them than differences. In general, Buddhist desires to have a better community. They are more interested about “how much we have in common rather than talking about each uniqueness and differences.” They welcome and encouraged exchange learning to other religions to attained good values, so that the world can attain more ideal community.

Buddhist Answers to Life’s Important Questions

Buddhism sees suffering as the result of bad karma. The teachings of the Bible that says, “A man reaps what he sows.” Gal. 6:7 is strongly believed by the Buddhist. They hold the truth that bad deed gets bad results and good deeds get good results. And that rewards or consequences will be received in your next life on earth since they believe on “reincarnation” or rebirth. It means that you have been living many lives before your present life now and that you have many more life to come. And the status of your present life now is the result of how you’d lived your previous life.

While we Christians have different concept about suffering, it is time to take this teachings seriously to grasp their thinking. I adapted the question and answer completely from “Morals Of The Young” by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero so you won’t miss a thing. Consider each question and answer carefully. Know that understanding the Buddhist mindset will help us realized the disastrous impact of presenting Jesus to them in our traditional way that He was hanged on the cross and died with a broken heart in a criminal death, adding that He had experienced a very humiliating situation, spat, beaten and crowned with thorns and etc.

1.     Question: Why are some very rich while others are extremely poor?

Answer: Some are very rich because they practice charity in the previous births.

2.     Question: Why do you have a happy and harmonious family life?

Answer: Because in your previous life, you dresses neatly and worshipped the Buddha with a pure heart.

3.     Question: Why it is good to offer Buddha images to a monastery?

Answer: Because of this meritorious act, you will have a life of good health and great wealth, as well as be blessed with handsome and wise children.

4.     Question: Why do you have comfortable transport that enables you to travel in luxury?

Answer: This is because you did beneficial work such as repairing roads and building bridges.

5.     Question: Why you are able to get all the fine clothes you want in great variety, while some do not have even rags?

Answer: Because you offered robes and other requirements to monks, recluses and other in need.

6.     Question: Why you have delicious good food while many others go hungry?

Answer: Because in your past life you gave food to those who were hungry.

7.     Question: Why do some people starve and do not have sufficient clothes to wear in the present life?

Answer: Because they did not share their wealth and other possessions with those in need.

8.     Question: What is the reason for one to be born into a rich family, enabling one to enjoy wealth and good fortune?

Answer: Because he has practiced charity in his previous life and shared what he had with those in need.

9.     Question: Why is your life do stable, happy prosperous, fortunate, and blessed with a happy family of wise children?

Answer: Because you have helped to build temples, schools and monasteries for people to worship.

10.      Question: What is the secret of you being so pretty and handsome in the life?

Answer: Because you offered flowers to the Buddha and did not have ill-will or hatred toward others.

11.                        Question: What has made you more intelligent and wiser than many others in this life?

Answer: Because you helped monk, religious persons and scholars to spread the words of Buddha and his moral teachings.

12.    Question: Why are you so popular among your friends and liked by all wherever you go?

Answer: Because you have showed loving-kindness towards others in your previous life and did not have harmful thoughts with anyone.

13.    Question: Why do some husbands and wives live happily together while some couples fight with one another?

Answer: Because these happy couples have lived together for many rebirths practicing meritorious deeds together.

14.    Question: Why do some people live happy long years with both their parents?

Answer: This is simply because in previous life they did not disrupt the families of birds and animals, when they were young.

15.    Question: Why do some people lead lonely lives as orphans, quite early in their lives?

Answer: Because these people were bird-shooters in previous lives and separated young birds from their parents.

16.      Question: Why do some people have many children and some have none?

Answer: This is because in the previous life, these children couples were not fond of children and destroy unborn children.

17.   Question: Why do some children die while they are still young?

Answer: Because they destroyed birds and animals for fun in their previous lives.

18.     Question: Why do some people become bald-headed when they still young?

Answer: Because they plucked the feather of helpless birds, thereby making it difficult to fly.

19.    Question: Why do you have long-life in this birth?

Answer: Because you have set free cage birds and animals and established sanctuaries for animals where they are totally free.

20.    Question: Why do some people die in accidents such as drowning, poisoning, motor vehicles collision etc?

Answer: Because they kill animals and people using various devices during their previous lives.

21.   Question: Why do some people get burnt alive?

Answer: Because these people barbecued and fired live fish. (Note: fired may be fried as explained by my friend)

22.    Question: Why cannot some people find spouse?

Answer: Because they did not treat their husband/ wives properly in their previous lives.

23.    Question: Why does a woman become an early widow?

Answer: Because she ill-treated her husband and did not look after him properly.

24.     Question: Why do some children have to work as domestic servants, slaving away all their lives?

Answer: This is because they ill-treated their domestic servants badly in their previous lives

25.    Question: Why do you have good eye-sight and clear vision in this life?

Answer: Because you offer light to dispel darkness in temples and public places.

26.     Question: Why do some people suffer from blindness in this birth?

Answer: Because they have conceal the truth, mislead people and impaired the eye-sight of patients through wrong medication in their previous life.

27.    Question: Why are some people deaf and dump in this birth?

Answer: Because they have insulted and used harsh words to their parents in their previous birth.

28.     Question: Why are some people hunch-backed in this life, like animals?

Answer: Because they have overloaded and hurt beast like donkeys, camels and buffaloes.

29.    Question: Why have you been able to live in a clean an unpolluted environment in this birth?

Answer: Because you have kept your environment clean and devoid of pollution in your previous birth.

30.    Question: Why do some people have a sweet voice in this life?

Answer: Because they spoke pleasant words, avoided harsh words and chanted the scriptures sweetly in this previous birth.

31.  Question: Why do some people have foul-smelling mouths?

Answer: Because in the previous birth they spoke harshly and untruthfully and indulged in bearing tales and gossip.

32.  Question: Why do some people have deformed hands in this life?

Answer: Because they threatened religious persons, their parents and elders by raising their hands.

33.   Question: Why are some people crippled in this life?

Answer: Because they used their legs for evil purposes such as threatening to kick their parents and elders.

34.    Question: Why are some men born as animals?

Answer: Because when they were men they behaved like animals.

35.    Question: Why do some people suffer from constant illness in this life?

Answer: Because they neglect their sick / aged parents.

36.      Question: Why are some people in constant good health?

Answer: Because they have looked after their aged parents and administered the sick in previous births.

37.     Question: Why are some people in prison even though they may not have committed any crime?

Answer: Because in the past birth, they have given false evidence against innocent people, thereby causing them great difficulty.

38.       Question: Why do some people have to starve in the world where there is plenty of food?

Answer: Because in previous births, they did not feed their aged parents while they were affluent and could afford to look after the parents adequately.

39.        Question: Why do some people kill themselves?

Answer: Because of their incapacity to accept the eight-fold worldly conditions. (Note: As explained by my friend, Buddhist teaches the 8 world conditions which are loss/gain, fame/disrepute (or humiliation), pleasure/pain, and praise/ blame)

 

Topic # 3: Why We Badly Need the Local Language?

By: Sulad Jhun Cardeinte

An excerpt from his unpublished book “The Gospel Call”

 

“…I had rather speak five words with my understanding, that [by my voice] I might teach others also, than ten thousand words in an [unknown] tongue.” 1 Cor. 14:19 

 

Without taking time to learn the language, the goal to make real disciples will not likely to happen and the people you are reaching will stay in their hopeless condition. The truth you bring will be like another laughable thing to them. A missionary must know that it is not enough to sacrifice. He must not just tell the truth he has but must communicate it to them. If two persons in the same culture and language sometimes have misunderstanding, then how much more to us who don’t have any background of their dialect.

The most difficult part of the culture to learn is the language. It demands time, effort and money. But it is necessary and must be part of our pre-evangelism job, in order to have an effective ministry. Languages and cultures must be respected and acknowledged. In the course of time this helps missionaries to be comfortable.

Until the missionaries master the language of the local people they cannot hope to understand the symbols, covenants, teachings, stories, myths, art and music which native people use to express their religious beliefs and feelings. Sharing the mysteries of Christianity requires the missionary to understand the mysteries of where he is in.

Our goal of going to the mission field is to communicate Jesus to them. That means we must make ourselves understandable to make the gospel clear. “For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?  So likewise ye, except ye utter by the tongue words easy to be understood, how shall it be known what is spoken? for ye shall speak into the air.” 1 Cor. 14:8,9

To communicate the gospel effectively we must not let them understand us but rather we must understand them by learning their own language. 

The local people are using their language when they fight, pray, make love, mourn and the likes. It will not be easy to learn but it will save us from many mistakes later.

I used to watch a Korean TV channel when I was working in South Korea and I could appreciate some white people (social workers) who can speak Korean language fluently. If you will just listen to them without looking at the TV screen you will really be trick. Their intonations and the way they speak are of no difference from native Koreans. How much more to us who is commission to go to spread the gospel everywhere. To teach them to obey God’s given commands.

In this respect, as messengers of the gospel we are in need of reconciliation with the people whom we are working with. Basically, in the cross-cultural ministry, language problem is the barrier of that reconciliation. To be effective, the missionary must have a genuine love for people. He must participate in the lives of the village and be willing to expose himself to be known. Our local language ability is playing big role in it,

because we cannot really mourn with their sorrows and sympathized with them whenever it is needed when we don’t have the language. 

Learning the language makes you aware of what is going on in the village.  The missionary must not only perceive himself as an infant but an outsider, so that you will strive to become a part of the local community you are in.  And when you become part of the community, it would be easier for you to reach them.

A missionary who is fluent in the local dialect knows the culture so well. This means he understands the people he is working with.

If you have the language you have freedom to move in our own. Long to write but you can recall your own experience when you were jailed in the box of your parsonage. That you could hardly ask help from your church members you don’t know anything about their language. Personally, what made me realize the importance of learning the language was that when I was attending the dying person. That I said to myself that if could have their language that time, I may be able to give Jesus the life not just the bowls of food. I may able to bring the spiritual healing not just the physical one. I may able to be a channel of eternal life rather than just extending their temporal one. 

Learning the language is necessary, it is a time consuming but it is not time wasting. Here are few suggestions to learn efficiently the language. I did not discourage private learning but open learning is more advantageous since you can gain more contacts around. Our temptation here is to focus on studying the language.

 

1.         Get foundation in the formal school- If it is possible, attend formal language school. It is better to become less effective for 6 months learning the language than to work 5 years with less effectiveness without going to school.

2.         You may teach to public school- while teaching, you can bring pictures and ask the kids about them and you may take it down in your notes.  That’s what I did when I was working in the Mien people. This is not recommended if you are in the higher level. Since most of the things you learn in school is just the basic things.

3.         Learn publicly through interaction- this is more effective because you can learn how to pronounce the word correctly.  Especially to those language which are so tonal.  For example, the Thai language.

4.         Spend time with the neighbors’ kids- This will help you got some words.

 

However, I do not claim that language ability is pre-requisite to effectiveness. Here, I’m talking about “long-term missionary” not “visiting missionary.” True, there are needs in the field that does not require language ability. Mastering the language may make any missionaries qualified to a certain mission opportunity. It may greatly help him to be more efficient to carry out his duties. But this does not mean he will always succeed in his mission.

There are many missionaries whom I know that their ministry becomes a mess because of their language ability. By experience, I learn that mastery of the local language, if we are not careful, can become a potential hindrance to our work. One reason is that we tend to become less sensitive of the people’s felt needs. This is one of the dangers of our success in acquiring the language. When a missionary dwell much on talking and become less sensitive real needs. Let us remember that language has its role to play but it is not the substitute of the Holy Spirit. The power of the Holy Spirit does the things to change the person not your ability.