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 Laws in California

 

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

 

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

 

Bathhouses are against the law.

 

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

 

Women may not drive in a house coat.

 

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

City Laws in California

Alhambra

You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.

 

Arcadia

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

 

Baldwin Park

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

 

Belvedere

City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.

Blythe

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

 

Burlingame

It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.

 

Cathedral City

It is prohibited to sleep in a parked vehicle.

 

Persons may not ride their bicycles through the “Fountain of Life”.

One may not bring their dog to school.

Cerritos

All dog “waste” must be removed from any yard within seven days.

Chico

One must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool.

 

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.

Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.

Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law.

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Dumb Laws in Florida

The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.

One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.

Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.

Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.

 

Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.

It is illegal to sell your children.

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

 

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

 

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

 

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

 

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

 

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

 

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

 

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

 

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.

 

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

 

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

 

Oral sex is illegal.

 

You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

 

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

 

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Dumb Laws in New York

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

 

You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

 

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing.

 

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.

 

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.

 

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.

 

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

 

New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.

 

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

 

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

 

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.

 

City Laws in New York

Carmel

A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

 

Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.

 

Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.

 

Greene

During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

 

Ocean City

A law from the early 1900’s prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.

 

Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

 

People may not slurp their soup.

 

Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.

 

Raw hamburger may not be sold.

 

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Dumb Laws in Washington

It is illegal to attach a vending machine to a utility pole without prior consent from the utility company.

No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold.

 

Destroying a beer cask or bottle of another is illegal.

It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls.

X-rays may not be used to fit shoes.

All lollipops are banned.

A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.

It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.

 

People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.

 

All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.

 

It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.

 

You are not allowed to breastfeed in public.

 

One may not spit on a bus.

When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.

 

You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.

City Laws in Washington

Bremerton

You may not shuck peanuts on the street.

 

Everett

It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.

 

Lynden

Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.

 

Seattle

You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.

 

One may not spit on a bus.

 

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Dumb Laws in New Jersey

Drivers must warn those who they pass on highways before they do so.

Spray paint may not be sold without a posted sign warning juveliles of the penalty for creating graffiti.

 

Handcuffs may not be sold to minors.

It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.

One must yield a phone line to a person if it is an emergency.

All motorists must honk before passing another car, bicyclist, skater, and even a skateboarder.

You cannot pump your own gas.

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

 

It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.

 

In an attempt to “foster kindness” in the citizens of New Jersey, the month of May is designated “Kindness Awareness Month”.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

 

The third Thursday of October is designated as “New Jersey Credit Union Day” and citizens of the state should observe the day with “appropriate activities and programs”.

Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.

You may not slurp your soup.

 

Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

 

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

 

City Laws in New Jersey

Bernards Township

 

It is illegal to frown as the town is a “Frown-Free Town Zone”.

 

Blairstown

Shooting ranges are outlawed.

No street-side trees may be planted that “obscure the air”.

It is illegal to throw ashes on the sidewalk.

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Dumb Laws in Alaska

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

 

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

 

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

 

City Laws in Alaska

Anchorage

No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.

For all you would-be pranksters out there, it is illegal to string a wire across any road.

Persons may not live in a trailer as it is being hauled across the city.

Clowns beware!

Fairbanks

It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

 

Haines

A person may only carry a concealed slingshot if that person has received the appropriate license.

It is against the law to attempt to break any law in title 9 of the code (public peace, morals, and welfare).

Employers of bars may not let their bartenders serve while they are drunk themselves.

Juneau

Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.

Buildings that preserve scenic vistas are awarded �bonus points� by the government.

Nome

One may not roam the city with a bow and arrows.

Soldotna

Persons may not allow “attractive nuisances” to exist.

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Dumb Laws in Texas

One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.

It is illegal to sell one’s eye.

A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.

When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

 

It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

 

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

 

It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.

 

A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

 

Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.

 

The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

City Laws in Texas

Abilene

It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

 

Austin

Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

Beaumont

Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

 

Borger

It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive firecrackers of any kind.

Clarendon

It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

 

Dallas

It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.

 

El Paso

Urinating on the streets is illegal.

Appearing in public places wearing a “lewd dress” is prohibited.

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Dumb Laws in New Mexico

Idiots may not vote.

State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

 

 

City Laws in New Mexico

Carrizozo

It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.

 

Deming

Persons may not spit on the steps of the opera house.

 

Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.

 

Las Cruces

You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.

 

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Dumb Laws in United Kingdom

 

 

No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police.

All land must be left to the eldest son.

Divorces are outlawed.

Since 1313, MPs are not allowed to don armor in Parliament.

Those wishing to purchase a television must also buy a license.

With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

 

All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.

 

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).

 

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).

 

Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.

A bed may not be hung out of a window.

 

It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.

 

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.

 

It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

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Dumb Laws in China

Persons may only bear one child or risk paying a substantial fine.

To go to college you must be intelligent.

 

Drivers of power-driven vehicles who stop at pedestrian crossings are liable to a fine of up to five yuan, or a warning.

 

 

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Dumb Laws in Germany

Every office must have a view of the sky, however small.

 

A pillow can be considered a “passive” weapon.

 

It is illegal to wear a mask.

It is illegal for ones car to run out of gas on the Autobahn.

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Dumb Laws in Switzerland

Clothes may not be hung to dry on Sunday.

 

You may not wash your car on a Sunday.

 

It is considered an offense to mow your lawn on a Sunday, because it causes too much noise.

 

It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 P.

 

A man may not relieve himself while standing up, after 10 P.

 

Though it is illegal to produce, store, sell and trade absinth (special alcohol), it is legal to consume it.

 

It is required that every car with snow tires has to have a sticker on its dashboard which tells that the driver should not drive faster than 160 km/h with these tires.

 

If you forget you car-keys inside the car and you leave the car open, you will be punished.

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