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This page is composed of past descriptions of current characters as well as characters that played a major role in my past and in previous blog posts.
 E
I'll start off with telling you a little about me. I'm twenty-six and after a eight year relationship I am once again single and starting over. It's a whole new experience and at times can be a little scary. The great part - I finally feel like myself again. I didn't realize how much I gave up to be part of what was looked at as the "perfect couple". Not to sound selfish but its nice to be doing stuff for me for a change and not always having to worry about somebody else. I am very outdoorsy and I love doing anything athletic. I ride horses and have been doing so since before I learned how to walk. Seriously. With this new life I have also started a new job. Its not my dream job by any means but for now it pays the bills. I'm hoping to go back to school in the near future and get my masters. Then I plan to start pursuing something in my field of interest.
I am also in the transition of moving from the house I shared with X back to my parents house. I admit at twenty-six I DO NOT want to be moving back in with my mom, but due to financial restraints and bills acquired thru the divorce it is a must. My plan was to move back in, pay off some bills, and then get an apartment ~ hopefully within 6 months. But with the bad economy my hours at the new job have been cut and I am afraid this will have an impact on my timetable. In order to keep up though I am working a second job at Sports Bar, a local place my friends and I like to hang out at. So for now though I am taking it one day at a time and trying to get my life back in working order. And Hyper is my Jack Russell Terrior puppy who is also mentioned often. Instead of a Terrior I think she is a terror! I love her and it's hard to remember life before her. I swear she is part rabbit for she bounces more than she walks!
 Vivi Vivi is one of my many partners in crime. We became friends in college and our friendship has only grown from there. When I need advice she always listens and really thinks before she responds. I know I can always count on her to tell me the truth even if it's something I don't want to hear. Vivi is fun, out going, hard working, smart, and dependable just to name a few of her amazing qualities. The downside is Vivi lives about an hour and a half away but she usually comes over and stays with me on weekends. She is also the only friend who knows about my blog.... If you want to hear more of her side of the story where she dishes about some of our (Mis)Adventures check out her blog.  Blondie
Blondie could very well be the devil on my shoulder! She is outgoing and just as outspoken! Always there when I need her and always ready to have a good time. I would consider her the bulldog of our group the one always ready to take up for her friends. I pitty X if he ever runs into her on a bad day!
 Vixen
Vixen is my best friend and at times I think my personal mood ring. No matter how far apart we are she always seems to know when I need her. She has a sense for always knowing what kinda mood I'm in and can call my bluff better than anyone around! At times we are more like sisters than friends. Our motto always "Be good, or be good at it." No matter what I know she always has my back and weather she agrees with me or not she will always be on my side and stand behind my decisions. Vixen understands that I have to learn life's lessons the hard way sometimes, and when I do she never says 'I told you so' she just hugs me and dries my tears. She wants so bad to mend my broken heart and take away the pain of my failed relationship with X. Friends like her don't come around often and I am so thankful to call her my best friend! ~ As of December 2008 she is now also single
 Big
Every girl has that one guy that you can't help but want. A Mr. Big so to speak. You know the one I'm talking about. You know better but that never seems to stop you. You can't say no. Big and I dated many years ago and have always remained friends. Everytime a relationship doesn't work out we always seem to run back to each other. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to leave him in the past. Is that good or bad? Jury's still out on that.
In an interview Candace Bushnell was asked what does Mr. Big mean to women? Her answer: “Mr. Big makes you feel prettier, sexier, smarter, more exciting than you are on your own. That’s why “they” are so addicting … it’s like you feel you cannot live without him....”. Yes, that is Mr. Big in a nutshell for you. However after all these years I think I am finally breaking out of the spell he has had me under (I say this as of November 2008). No longer am I blind to his faults and finally I think the seventeen year old girl within is ready to let him go. He will always hold a special place in my heart but never again my bed.
"And so, at last, the book has a real ending, in which Carrie and Mr. Big break up. It's a bittersweet ending - not just the end of Carrie's relationship with Mr. Big, but the end of her dream of finding the proverbial Mr. Big - a man who doesn't really exist. If you read closely, you'll discover that even Mr. Big himself points out that he is a fantasy in Carrie's imagination, and that you can't love a fantasy. And so we leave Carrie to enter a new phase in her life when she understands that she will have to find herself (without a man), and in doing so with hopefully be able to find a relationship"
(Bushnell, 2001).  X
X and I dated for a little over six years and then tied the knot. X was a great guy with some bad habbits that did not come to light till we were married and living together (we did not live together before we got married). When it became apparent these problems would not go away and that I could not save him I realized I had to save myself. So as hard as it was I knew I had to walk away. Read more about the X factor.
No matter how much he has put me thru I still love him and I'm afraid I always will. October and November (2008) I tried once again to make our relationship work. I have never believed in divorce and years from now I wanted to look back and be able to know that if it didn't work out with X that I had tried everything to make it work. After tears and an emotional roller coaster ride I was told that he could never forgive me for wanting a divorce in the first place. Nevermind the fact I could forgive him for all the horrible things he had done.... I mean I may forgive but I will never forget. But I was prepared to wipe the slate clean. I guess it was no surprise when X could not do the same. When it comes to X I have regrets and I probably always will. I wish I would have done things differently, but the best I can do is learn from my mistakes and try to correct them. But what do you do when someone won't allow you fix your mistakes? I'm still trying to figure that one out....
“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person
how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”
~ Unknown ~  Don Juan
Don Juan is one of my best guy friends. I can always count on him to give me an honest opinion and a shoulder to cry on. He is also Big's roommate.
I am sad to say that as I have tried to distance myself from Big I have also distanced myself from Don Juan. But Don Juan and I have the kind of friendship that never ends. No matter how much time goes by when we next speak we will pick up right where we left off.
 Giggles
Giggles gets her name because she is always giggling! We have been friends since middle school and have had many fun times over the years. She is currently in a serious relationship but sometimes we can steal her away for a night out with the girls.
 Conscious
Conscious got her name because she has been just that my conscious! She is the one that I always ask, "what should I do?" Best friends since fourth grade I would say it's safe to say she has helped me make all my lifes most important decisions. She is the angel on my shoulder that always tries to keep me out of trouble.
 Fire Guy
Fire Guy was my first post-X date. I really liked him but was not ready to rush into another relationship. As you can guess by his name he is a Fire Fighter and a very cute one at that. He is a genuinely nice guy that I always have a blast hanging out with. He's one of those guys that wants to take care of you. I tend to think of myself as very independent, probably because I have always had to be, so having someone who wants to help can be an adjustment. One that I am slowly learning to make.
Our "what-ever-you-call-it-relationship" ended rather abruptly, leaving me slightly bewildered. For some reason Blondie and Vixen had high hopes for Fire Guy. They both thought he had great potential. And Blondie stands by the fact she thinks he still does. I on the other hand am on the fence about the whole matter. But Blondie is convinced that he started to fall for me and got scared and that he wants to give me ample time to get over X before pursuing me. Sounds good in theory I guess. A theory which Giggles backs up saying that upon running into his step-mom the other day and mentioning she is one of my best friends his step-mom says, "oh we just love E!"
I still speak with Fire Guy about once a week, seems we are always running into each other.... Not sure what the future will hold for myself and Fire Guy. I guess I still sorta, kinda have a crush on him. But if the opportunity arises again I'll have to determine if I have a genuine crush on him or if I only like him because I think I can't have him......
 Let's see Babbles and I have been friends since about third grade and formed an everlasting friendship that orginated because of our love for Barbie and playing make-believe. We grew up playing sports together and like all girls Barbie bacame a piece of our past and boys no longer had coodies. In high school we shared laughes, tears and many fun times as we made our journey closer to adulthood. Once out of high school and into college we went our seperate ways, but always keeping in touch. The phone calls dwindled from every other day to about once a month. Due to distance and different schedules we were not as involved in each other's lives yet we always considered each other close friends. I guess our lives came back together when Babbles asked me to be in her wedding and she married and moved back to our small town. She is a great friend who has always been there for me and can always make me laugh even when I just want to cry. I am so lucky to have such a great life long friend!
 Punk-Rock-Chick
I met Punk-Rock-Chick not long after she moved to my small town nearly two years ago, we started out as co-workers but quickly became friends. We are very different in certain aspects, but very similar in others. She helps keep life interesting and when X and I split there nights I just wanted to sit at home and cry. But Punk-Rock-Chick was determined to not let me sulk in the misgivings of the past and would always drag me out and make sure that I had smile on my face. She is fun-loving, kind, and considerate - just to name a few of her many good qualities.
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