Alicia, I love your concept of making a website that seeks to aid and promote the rights of a very specific subset of the population: Latin American girls.  This specificity allows your readers to truly put their finger on who it is exactly that they are helping.  While this sense of direct connection is very effective, be careful not to box out other readers: for example, when I read the opening line on your home page (“it’s dedicated to all you Latin American girls and youth interested in promoting our rights”), I immediately felt as if your website was not for me because although I am a girl and would be interested in helping Latin American girls, I am not Latin American.  Perhaps you could alter your opening sentence so that it extends to all girls, but other than that, your home page and the mission statement it presents are engaging and to-the-point.

            Your writing throughout the website is clear and very appropriate for your target audience: it is inviting and personal so that the reader feels as if she is speaking with a female peer.  Your website organization is also very straightforward.  Although you have yet to finish writing your web pages, the direction you are heading in is very promising.  I especially like your addition of a “What YOU can do!” page.  It emphasizes actionable knowledge!  I remember that during your presentation, you mentioned the idea of holding a competition that would award funding for the winner's project proposal or idea as long as it benefited Latin American girls.  I think that would be a great addition to your website.  Perhaps you could include a page that described the competition and its rules, prompting your readers to submit their ideas and get involved.  Overall, great start, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how your website turns out.

My Critique of Aki's Website

            Aki, as a freshman who is encountering the Draw for the first time (and a new Draw system this year at that!), I wholeheartedly agree that a website like yours would be an extremely useful tool.  Besides freshmen, I think your website would also attract upperclassmen who want to write about their past dorm experiences and apply as dorm RAs.  In the past few weeks, I have been asking many upperclassmen to tell me about their dorm experiences, and I was surprised to find that most of them could not stop talking!  I truly believe upperclassmen have a wealth of information and experience that they are more than willing to share, and your website provides the perfect outlet!

            Your writing style on your home page is engaging and informative.  The only suggestion I have is to perhaps address your reader directly.  So instead of saying “They have many questions, such as ‘what is ethnic housing?’” you might want to say, “Have you ever wondered what ethnic housing is?  Then you’ve come to right place!”  After reading your assignments, I can see that your website’s organization is clear and user-friendly.  I especially like the idea of including a FAQs page, which offers direct solutions to your readers’ specific questions.  During your in-class presentation, I remember we talked about having a blog-style page where students can share their experiences and ask questions.  I think that would be a very useful addition to your website and the key aspect that sets it apart from the purely informational site Stanford provides.  Overall, I love your plan for your website, and I’m looking forward to seeing the finished product!

Back to Assignments.

Grace Kim

16 May 2009