Ultimately, your teens will decide how they will use their cell phone. However, this does not mean that you cannot prevent some of these misuses. These behaviors are redefining the boundaries of what they think are acceptable and unacceptable, and if not prevented at a young age, these judgments and attitudes will affect them for the rest of their lives. To this end, you cannot afford to take a passive approach. The most important thing to do is to talk to them about these issues and their consequences. However, in some cases you will have to take an even more active approach. Since most of these misuses come from exploiting additional features, you can choose phones and services that limit these features altogether. In our Buying Options, we detail our options on cell phones.
| This problem deals with the issue of where using the mobile phone is acceptable.
- Research: First, look into what your school's policies are on cell phones in school. Most schools allow one or two warnings, followed by a stricter confiscation in which parents are required to come in to retrieve the phone.
- Classoom disruptions: Let your teen know that even though cell phone rings in class are common, it doesn't mean that it is acceptable. Cell phones have no business in the classroom and serve as great distractions.
- Cheating: Perhaps pressured by the grading system, some students opt to cheat on tests. Let them know that doing so creates unfair advantages, and that you would be disappointed in them.
- Consequences: If necessary, let them know that consequences do follow from actions by enforcing punishments. If they are caught cheating or have their phone confiscated, you will take the phone away for a month, for example. This will teach them that actions give rise to reactions, and consequences should be considered before acting.
| | - Internet Access: The cell phone's ability to expose teens to sexual material is very similar to that of the internet. Parents have responded by installing child monitors and internet filters on their PC. Some software are so thorough that "keylog" emails and instant messages. This approach can be applied to cell phones as well. In fact, since phones with a data plan can now access the web, all the fears of the internet are prevalent on the mobile phone. However, there are very few parental monitoring programs out there, perhaps because companies do not see the demand for such. If your child doesn't absolutely require internet access and you're worried about what sites he or she visits, we advise you to not opt for a data plan. Each phone manufacturer provides a different web browser application, so if you want to monitor your child's activities you should look into what filters and software are available. For the iphone, for example, thea pp iWonder allows parents to see what sites their teens visit.
- Voyeurism: Looking through your child's phone might cross certain "trust" lines. If you are worried that they may be using their cameras inappropriately, let them know that taking a candid picture of someone can be illegal. Tell them that doing so is unacceptable in this society. Another option to consider is getting a phone without a camera. Although most phones now come with a camera, some also come with a loud shutter sound that alerts surrounding people that the camera is taking a picture.
- Sexting: Passing innocent love notes in class was a perfectly acceptable way to express feelings at a young age. Although the medium of note-passing has evolved to texting, the innocent messages have degenerated to vulgar comments. However, at this early stage in their life, teens might construe this sexual behavior as harmless. Let them know the legal aspects of this act--the many cases that have charged the child, even though they are taking a picture of themselves. Also, tell them that what you send to others is not necessarily private, and can end up for thousands to see. You should also keep an update on their lives, asking them who they are texting and what they are texting.
| | - Teen Driving: First, look into your states laws regarding teen driving and cell phones and relay this information to your teen. Chances are they are restrictive.Let them know that car accidents are the leading cause of deaths among teens. It is very important to drill into their heads the idea that driving recklessly is dangerous and all distractions must be prevented. In some cases, a more restrictive approach is required. Keep an eye out for upcoming product called Key2SafeDriving, which is a unique car key that, when in the engine, jams all cell phones within distance (including the driver). This product is still in the works and is expected to run you $50. Also, if your teen must talk while on the phone, consider bluetooth headsets. Bluetooth headsets are paired with a bluetooth-enabled phone and allow for hands-free talking.
- Phone Bullying: Bullying is a big problem, and we should consider both cases.
- The Bully: Tell your child that bullying is an unacceptable way to interact with others. Ask them about how they are getting along with their classmates, and ask teachers about your child's attitude toward others. Also ask them about who they are texting and what they are texting.
- The Bullied: It might be good practice to ask your children how their day was each and everyday, and see if they are troubled in anyway. Ask them if they are having problems with other students and that the correct thing to do is tell others. Finally, ask them what kind of messages they are getting.
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