SOME HUMOR

 

 

The only people you have to fear are your neighbors so make sure you own aircraft carriers, bazookas,

missile launchers, submarines, helicopters, and paper airplanes.

 

Because we need a stimulus package that will create jobs and inflation does not matter, our country should spend 10 trillion dollars figuring out the best ways to eat ice cream on the planet Jupiter. 

 

 

If at first you did not succeed, say you did.  This is especially important if you are a member of Congress.

 

 

The best way to create jobs is to tax 99 percent of all the income people make and businesses make.  You need to realize government and not businesses create the jobs.  Why have innovation when you are able to have economic collapse?

 

 

 

Why did the wild turkey cross the road?

 

The wild turkey saw that Benjamin Franklin was coming towards him with a key, a kite, and a plate.

 

 

 

What do you not want to do on a canoe?

 

Play musical chairs

 

 

 

What happens when you cross a lamb and a wolf?

 

A full wolf.

 

 

What question should you never ask an economist?

 

How many hands do you have?

 

 

 

 

 

What do you not wear when you go hunting?

 

Camo clothing and a duck hat

 

 

 

What do you not say in Las Vegas?

 

I do not know how to count when playing blackjack.

 

 

 

WHAT YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER HEAR AN ELECTED OFFICIAL SAY

 

Ask not what you can do for the Republic.  Ask what can you do for me.

 

If at first you do not succeed, never do anything else again.

 

If you can chew gum and talk, you are more competent than me.

 

I took many bribes today and I feel good about that.

 

I do not care what happens to you because I have a lucrative job lined up after leaving office with a financial company.

 

Did you put on your own makeup today or did a clown do it for you?

 

You smell so bad you got rid of my cold.

I wrote the following volcano humor many months ago.

 

 

 

VOLCANO HUMOR

 

Make sure you spend a lot of money on plastic surgery and expensive clothes because you never know when a volcano will erupt and turn you into a statue.

 

Make sure you take on a great deal of debt to buy a home and electronics you could not possibly afford because if lava destroys your home and most of your possessions you want lava to feel good about doing so.

 

I have several humorous columns on http://www.myspace.com/kennethstremsky One of the columns makes fun of me and discusses what might take place if I am President of the United States of America.  The blog entry that has 6 humourous columns starts with autos, gold.  My education, energy, military blog entry has an example of military humor.