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Environmental Satire by Katrina Beck and Allison Mezen

How Will YOU Change The Planet?

 

 

With the economy being as bad as it today, now is the time, more than ever, to start thinking about how you are going to contribute to a healthier and safer environment for the future. We really should start thinking about how future generations are going to survive in the mess we have made for them to clean up. The more environmentally friendly we become, the easier it will be to establish a greener nation : ). Some of the main areas we need improvement on in our natural world are cheaper ways to commute, energy efficient- electricity, water conservation, paper and plastic waste, and overall a less polluted atmosphere. If we all pulled together to save the planet, we really could accomplish more than we think. It just takes that first step to get started, but making the change to become eco-friendly will last a lifetime and will impact the lives of our descendants. So stop wasting your time and money and join the modern era where everyone can reuse everything and no one will ever have to waste again!

                Now let us begin with a few simple tips that will help you gain insight to this new way of living. First, we all know that gasoline-powered cars are overrated. They use costly fuel and damage the ozone layer with all of those toxic fumes. We need to reverse our minds back to the olden days. Why not commute to work on a horse? They do not cost much to own, can gallop up to 40 miles an hour, and can definitely use the exercise. Better yet we get to feel that fresh air blowing in our face as we ride tall down the street. If Americans all switched to riding horses everyday, they would save up to 8,739,284.716 bazillion gallons of gasoline a year! Secondly, electricity is so last year. Everyone knows there is no better way to live than in the dark! What an exciting adventure it will be to find things when you cannot see! And it is amazing how much money you will save. Plus you will never have to worry about your computer breaking down or your television set converting to digital cable. It is all just a scam to get your money, anyway. Finally, another great tip that will conserve water for our planet is by simply drinking the rain. It is certainly organic and you will never know the difference! On average a rainfall produces about 27,154 gallons per acre of land. That amount will last you forever, so do not forget to fill up during the wet winter season!

            Of course there will be those who do not see how necessary all of this is. Even if they do, there are always the selfish ones that will refuse to make such drastic changes in their lives to help better the world. So, simply, just think green. If you can't make those aforementioned changes, then just gradually go green. If you don't want to ride a horse to work, then at least drive a green car. For those of you who have white, black, red, blue and yellow cars (or any other color that I left out), just go to your local car shop and have them paint your car green. If you refuse to drink rain water, then at least burn your plastic water bottles. The earth is cluttering up, and we don't need any extra, unnecessary trash being thrown out. It will only contribute to digging larger and more holes in the ground so that there will be a place for it all to go. If you just burn it, nobody will ever know that you actually aren't drinking the resourceful rain water. If you are boring and don't want to live in the dark, then please just paint your lights and lamps (or whatever environmentallyunfriendly source of electricity that you must use) green. That way, when all of your friends are sharing their adventures of living in the dark, you can boast and say that you are using green lighting.

            There are a number of ways that everyone can be of importance when making our planet greener. Perhaps some of the suggestions will be too much of a stretch for those who are afraid of change. I gave alternatives to those, and if you still aren't happy, then go live in outer space, because planet Earth does NOT want you here. You are slowly killing her and ruining her and making her look disgusting. She was born green, and she only wants green people living on her. Please take into consideration the devastating reality of Earth's situation, and make your changes permanent, for the environment, for Earth, and for you and all of your children/grandchildren's future.