What it is Like to Be a Sexually Abused Teenager When  You Become an Adult and try To TurnIn Your Former Abuser and the Local Kinnelon, New Jersey Police Department Refuses to Arrest the Man Who Abused You

One cannot even turn on their television today, without viewing a news program reporting another case of childhood sexual abuse. I was also a victim of childhood sexual abuse at age thirteen. Since, it has been my dirty little secret. I vowed never to tell anyone; until now.

Why did I keep this crime a secret for so long? First and foremost, I was certain no one would believe me back then. After all, I was a rebellious 13 year old teenager, and my abuser was a highly respected resident and business owner residing at that time, in Kinnelon, New Jersey. But most important was the matter of fact, Marty Teitelbaum, the man who sexually abused me, was my biological father’s closest friend and confidant and his wife was close friends with my mother.

I always thought as a teenager, if I ever told anyone about Mr. Teitelbaum sexually abusing me, I would be the one getting in trouble, and punished, not him. I believed this falsehood then, owing to the fact, I drank alcohol at Marty Teitelbaum ‘s home the day the sexual abuse he committed against me took place.

Marty himself had pushed it (the alcohol) on me, and I was afraid to say, “No!”  A word teenagers most times are too frightened to say to an adult, yet a word teenagers need to know it is “o.k.’ to use to an adult in circumstances such as these.

Why was I as so many other teens today so scared to say “No,” to someone going to sexually abuse them? As an adult sociologist, I strongly believe it is due to both our social upbringing as a social learning process. As growing young children, we are programmed from an early age NOT to tell adults “No!”  And when we do say “No” to a request emanating from an adult we know subconsciously , especially when using the word “No” to those adults closest to us such as, our parents and other relatives (those whom most often are found guilty of sexually abusing children and teenagers) , we know further, the result usually is our own punishment and lecturing us very often by our own parents on our having bad manners, at the very least. So for this reason, I also kept my own sexual abuse a secret until becoming an adult sociologist, graduating college in 1997 when returning to New Jersey, from California. It was then I approached the Kinnelon New Jersey Police Department explaining to them my circumstance, asking them to investigate and arrest the man who many years ago sexually assaulted me who lived in Kinnelon when I was 13 years old. The Kinnelon, New Jersey Police Department flatly refused my request telling me to, “go away and stop causing trouble because the crime occurred too many years ago and they had better things to do with their time.” In tears I sadly walked away, absolutely  in shock at the response just given me by these so-called “public servants” being  paid on United States taxpayer money in the State of New Jersey as supposed “Officers of the Law” in America !

Nothing has changed since being told by the Kinnelon, New Jersey Police Department, they would neither investigate nor arrest my sexual abuser. Who knows, perhaps he is out there somewhere, sexually abusing other children; he probably is! This child may be yours! The following is what happened the day I was molested by , Marty Teitelbaum.

One day after my divorce after returning to live in New Jersey, I saw Marty Teitelbaum’s logo and his Lawn Champ/Doctor truck passing by my apartment here in Bloomingdale; this brought back my anger and memories, setting everything off.  Although forgetting exactly the name of his Landscaping business after so many years, I always remembered Marty Teitelbaum’s business truck logo. I have seen it so many numerous times as a teenager when being dragged to the, Teitelbaum’s, luxurious home in , Kinnelon, New Jersey to have dinner with them and my parents. I never liked the Teitelbaum ‘s. Those visits to their home became increasingly more difficult after Mr. Teitelbaum sexually abused me because whenever I was at the Teitelbaum home with my parents after being sexually abused by him, only the two of us knew about it. Every time I had eye contact with, Marty, during those visits it was so emotionally difficult for me as a teenager because we both knew what transpired between us that day.

Marty to my recollection never threatened me not to tell anyone about his sexual abusing me. He did however scare me psychologically so strongly, I remained silent all these years. He told me if ever revealing what happened that day, neither my own parents, nor anyone else would take me seriously. Furthermore, if I told anyone, Marty made me believe anyone I told, would find me and not him 100% complicit and guilty for committing this crime because “it was my fault and I wanted it, allowing it to happen.” Marty also said anyone I told about it would think that I wanted it to happen because I fully participated in it and did not leave his home the day it occurred. Moreover, Marty said since I illegally drank liquor too with him, it was me, not he, who would be found guilty and punished for what we did. As an innocent 13 year old, what Marty said to me made sense and I never told anyone until now.

As aforementioned, I was a rebellious teenager. I already got in trouble because of my experimenting with drinking and smoking. I had even tried smoking pot. I needed money at that age to continue my rebellious night crusades. Being too young to officially work a minimum wage job, when Marty offered me money to come over his home in Kinnelon and house clean a few hours, it was the only job offer I got at age 13 and I wasn’t about to refuse it.

The day my father drove me to Marty’s home, everything seemed normal ‘enough.’ That was until he asked me to join him in his furnished basement to get something to “drink” because it was a hot summer day, so I complied. Once in his basement, Marty asked me what I wanted to “drink.” When he said I could have anything I wanted to drink, I told him, “I‘d love a beer or something, but knowing this is illegal, I’d settle for a diet soda or something.” It was then Marty informed me, he was offering me anything in his bar, including all his alcoholic beverages. Since as aforementioned I was at that rebellious experimental age, I told Marty, “I’ll have something alcoholic.” So he went into some back room returning with a few bottles of what he referred to as his most old, expensive and well tasting wines.

I drank almost the entire bottle of one alone, Marty was allowing me to become drunk although he himself did sip some wine along with me. Since I wasn’t getting any housework accomplished, I worried about getting paid. After all, the only reason I wanted to come to his house in the first place was for money and work. Marty was an ugly old man and I merely wanted to finish cleaning his home so I could acquire my pay which I planned to use later that evening when I planning to go out drinking with my own friends my own age. So I told, Marty, I had better start getting some housework done. He replied to me that I did not have to work at all, telling me he would still pay me, but he would pay me even more and all he wanted me to do was to allow him to take a couple of naked photos of me.

It took about two seconds for me to decline his offer! He was ugly and old; I certainly did not need a dirty old man sexually assaulting me because I had enough boys my own age wanting me. But, I forget how much money Marty offered to me for allowing him to take naked photos of me but it was a lot. At least it seemed to be a lot to me then because my recollection was that it was $100-. I never had that much money in my young hands before and could not refuse. It was just too tempting and Marty knew it!

I became extremely drunk. Remember I was only 13 years old and already, Marty and I had drunk an entire bottle of his expensive wine. And Marty was also feeding me one drink after the other ensuring I could not turn anything he wanted of me and my young body down. We all know how drinking removes all our inhibitions; and this is exactly what happened to me that day. Marty kept making me more drinks of all types of liquors he had behind his all too tempting and “taboo bar.” He knew exactly what he was doing; and I was so drunk, I cared what was about to happen, I did not want it to happen, yet I was too drunk to care that much.

I shortly thereafter found myself in a situation in which Marty had by then, his expensive camera out. He proceeded instructing me on how he wanted me to pose my half naked 13 year old body on his furniture. He came over to me the entire time.  After each photograph he snapped of me, he walked over to me., and moved my legs, arms and the rest of my body in the position he wanted e to be in for that group of photos while touching my body everywhere private while placing me just the way he wanted me on his furniture. Then, he proceeded taking a few photographs of my in that particular pose, and we would move to the next set of pose. I hated it; yet put up with it because I wanted the $100-! I felt dirty and disgusting for letting it go on; but I did.

I soon became tired because I had drunk too much. Marty then told me he would help me upstairs where I could lie down and rest for a few hours before he drove me home. He said we would get into a lot of trouble if I went home drunk; I agreed.

Once helping me into his and his wife’s master bedroom I wanted to “sleep it off,” so to speak and be left alone. But I was scared to tell Marty , “No,” allowing him to do what he wanted to me sexually, He forced my face and mouth on his penis and made me give him “oral sex.” He did a lot of things and I forget them all. I don’t even remember if we had actual sex but he did insert himself in me and I told him I was scared of getting pregnant because he had no condom.

I think he was scared of that also because this was the one and only thing he stopped doing when I asked him to; but he did not stop immediately.

When I woke up no longer drunk, I felt like some dirty disgusting whore! I felt I could never wash myself clean of allowing this married man to sexually abuse me for the money he gave me. He was honorable in paying me at least I thought then. He told me to hurry and wash and get dressed because he had to drive me home; I obeyed. And this is what and how I was abused sexually by Marty Teitelbaum. It is only too bad the local police would not help me in arresting him because he is probably still abusing children today. Once a pedophile it is that a person remains one seemingly.

By Miss Jill Louise Starr

I want to ad one endnote: When returning from California, after asking the Kinnelon, N.J. Police to help me investigate and arrest, Marty Teitelbaum, for the true incident I just described. I called a house in Kinnelon , NJ baring the name, Teitelbaum, I found in my local phone book. I then discovered his son answering the phone, I said I was Marty’s old friend and was wondering if he was still in the area because I would like to invite him for dinner as I was here for a short while on business and was looking him up from high school days. His son then old me he retired, leaving the lawn care business to him (his son) andmoved to Florida where he probably is still living I hear today!