Can A White Person Really Understand What It Is Like Being A Black Minority Group Member Living In Middle Class America (?)

I think not.  However, it is capable, for a white person to get a small glimpse of the experience, but, only if they truly try. This is my own experience of how far I had to go to get that glimpse for myself and begin to comprehend, what it is like being a member of a minority group living in A country in which the majority is comprised of, White Middle Class Americans, today. \

I thought I completely understood through my compassionate acts of charity, what growing up being black in America meant. I always said to myself and fellow black friends, “I feel you,” but now I know, I never truly did. It took my going to two places on the globe to truly even begin understanding the black experience in America. The first place was a vacation to the island of Jamaica, and, the second was an afternoon trip to the Alabama Public Housing Projects, in Paterson, New Jersey.

The fact is, until a white person, becomes part of a minority subculture themself, they cannot understand the experience of being a member of a minority in America.  And, I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. Being a member of, ‘a minority” was unpleasant, fearful and extremely scary for me as a life experience. I was glad I was able to return to my world of White Middle Class America, at my voyages end. However, I understood much better what being a member of a minority meant in America today, therefrom.

The first time I considered the topic of this article was when me and my first husband traveled to the island paradise, Jamaica. I distinctly remember, always hating touristy places, me and my ex then, went as we always did, off the beaten path and away from our hotel,  hiring a driver, we spent most of the next week going from the mountains of Jamaica to the other side of the Island itself. We traveled from Montego Bay to Trenchtown, sharing meals with the Jamaican natives.

My first husband was black, he never felt more at ease than when we were, in Jamaica; ironically,  I felt the inverse ! I will never forget the first fear I felt from walking around a regular city, away from my elegant Hotel, on the island of Jamaica being surrounded by all black people. I felt totally isolated and fearful; It was then for the first time I clearly discovered, I, Jill Starr, was really scared of “them.” I wondered why I felt so fearful being around almost all blacks. I felt additionally confused at first. However, it was from this moment, I realized I, always considering myself as an open minded white woman, was really a secret racist at heart! What other reason would there be for my being so completely fear filled  from my merely walking around an everyday Jamaican City like, Kingston, being surrounded by all blacks?

I realized I was not open-minded at all! I was just like the so many other white middle class Americans, I was brought up programmed believing I as a white woman, ought to be fearful when in the presence of too many blacks. I defined my feelings of fear being directly due to my for the first time in my life, being a member of the national minority!

 I found my only comfort in the matter of fact I would have never realized I was really a white racist, if not for my trip there. I found myself happy that now knowing myself racist, I could immediately correct this error in cultural judgment. However, it wasn’t this easy and I confess feeling fear filled and uncomfortable during my entire trip to Jamaica; even my being married to a black man didn’t make the experience of being a minority member in Jamaica any easier. I further confess feeling glad when returning to my white world of middle class America when arriving back to JFK in New York.